POSTS TAGGED: James Oseland

I can say one thing for Chris.. he’s got guts.  Literally. And then there were 2. We are finally here at the Finale of Top Chef Masters. I can’t believe I won’t be stalking pictures of Curtis Stone anymore… well, at least until next season. Tomorrow I can stop sucking in my gut The Chefs [...]

  My prayer for the day: Please, my dear Lord (and by “my Lord” I mean Satan), please, please, let today be the day when Lorena gets kicked to the curb. If you are as powerful as you say you are SATAN, you will make this happen!!!!!!!!!  Thank God this sh*t is almost over.  Even [...]

The Beast that killed Takashi Welcome to the 10th Circle of Hell Last week Lorena the Horena won- unbelievably, in my opinion and my favorite little pocket chef was sent packing. Good vs Evil I am still mourning the loss of Takashi but here we are, nearing the end, at episode 8. We have whittled [...]

Takashi Manero Last week, Art sashayed out the door and back to the land of Biscuits, Oprah and Lady Gaga’s collapsing cake.  Unfortunately, we are still left with his annoying BFF, Lorena.  There are five Chefs remaining, well, six if you count Patty’s mole.  Patricia, Lorrrrrrrrrrrrrena, Takashi, Chris and Kerry.  Putting it out there, this [...]

Welcome to the Episode 4!    Last week Mark Gaier was sent packing for his lackluster scallops cooled Teppanyaki style.  He left his partner Clark behind.  And Art won lasts week’s elimination challenge, gaining ultimate redemption for cake-gate 2012. Feast your eyes on this… Speaking of cake- beautiful cupcake Curtis Stone is already in the kitchen [...]

Season 4, episode 3 already!  Time flies.  Last week we saw the glorious win of Patricia and her mole for sweeping the critics and wedding guests off of their feet and Debbie Gold was shuffled out the door.  And Honey Bear Smith dodged a bullet for his caketastrophe. In case you forgot Art’s dizzzzzaster Mr. [...]

 The Chefs come into the Kitchen and Curtis Stone (Cold Fox or SCF, as I am abbreviating) is there, which is never a good sign. SCF announces that there will no QuickFire Challenge today, they are going straight into the Elimination Challenge. SCF also announces two guests: Christine and Jay. Hottie and the Bride and [...]

Curtis Stone(ColdFox) is back as the host.  I’m warning you, I have a major thing for this dude.  I really want him to wrestle a croc or throw some shrimp on the barbi. Sorry, bad Australian stereotypes. James Oseland and Ruth Reichl are back as judges. We are in Sin City and quickly see that gambling [...]

I am so hungry now!

Or pack your knives and go!

At long last, Gasmii, at long last.  The only thing that could make me feel better about Hughnibrow’s railroading would be an immediate Naomi elimination the following week, and it was delivered!  Just like my eyes and ears from having to endure her further! The Quickfire Challenge was blind cooking pairings, which, while as ultimately [...]

Pointless experiments. Pfft.

Minicap of last night’s “Top Chef Masters”!

If you got a gimmick…

Sooooo, a Top Chef Master must be able to cook really, REALLY quickly, and also do so on a… moving tour bus.  Come on, Guys.  Couldn’t have made it a food truck or something else mildly relevant?  Of course not! The Quickfire is reminiscent of the SpeedFire of last season’s in which Colicchio prepared something [...]

Can Chinese-Canadian cuisine beat out Swedish-Ethiopian, or will Atlantis-American take it all?

Italians are really ultra-sensitive these days.

Cartoon food takes the night.

Wedding cake time!

Hey everybody, guess what? This is my hundredth recap for TVGasm! I know, right? It’s hard to believe I’ve dedicated almost two years of my life to writing mini-novellas about hairstylists and designers and models and chefs and bisexual famewhores. Time flies when you’re being a big fat bitchkitty, I guess. Seriously, though, this is [...]

Hey y’all foodie fans! Remember how the last time we were all watching Top Chef it was Christmastime, and we were all super-depressed because our sweet and cuddly Kevin “DirtyBear” Gillespie didn’t win and that blade-nosed cocky assfuck Michael “Li’l Volt” Voltaggio did, and we all ate ourselves into a coma on pork ribs and [...]