POSTS TAGGED: Johnny

First of all, Nia is a trash bag full of crab-ridden cunts.  She gets worse every episode.  Jessica gets butt hurt because Averey and Butta begin to realize what we have known for a while, Jessica sucks rocks.  The gang rides dirt bikes.  Nia gets fired.  Averey and Jessica get into it, and Nia eggs [...]

I’m baaaaaaaack!  Another big thanks to smango for taking over last week.  I was dealing with two deaths, one human and one K-9, but things are much better now.  I wish I could say the same for the roommates.  Everyone is dealing with the fallout from the Nia/Jordan blow up.  Nia plays the victim card. [...]

I am pretty sure “Millimeter Peter and the Baby Man” would be an awesome band name.  Someone get on that.  So, as it turns out, Nia really was just trying to fuck with Jordan’s head.  He figured it out pretty quickly.  Personally, I think she is attempting to show dominance over the male roommates, but [...]

Whoa.  Whoa.  Whoa.  What the fuck just happened?  Does Nia have multiple personalities?  Do I have multiple personalities?  I went from Nia dislike, to like, to gagging in the span of an hour.  I am not even sure what else to say, so let’s just get to the episode before I decide to say something [...]

Howdy guys and dolls! Something about this episode was off to me. Some interesting things occurred, but the way everything was edited together left something to be desired. Or maybe the situations were exciting and the roommates reacted like slugs? Who knows. Anyway, Averey proved she was a slut on the street AND a freak [...]

Hello, my Real World loving friends! I don’t know about y’all, but I thought this week was definitely more entertaining that last week. Johnny and Averey did sexy times because she was impressed they slept in the same bed and he didn’t try to get his hump on. Jordan fought with Buttaface. Then, Jordan fought [...]

Is it too soon to wish Anastasia would ride her bike off the bridge? Oh, Portland.  I know you want to keep things “weird,” not “dirty,” but MTV is here to crush your dreams.  After a lengthy hiatus, The Real World is back for its 28th season.  I am plockness monster, and I am here [...]

Hey, remember the last eight weeks?

… and if anyone, anywhere wanted to see Abe’s bouncing bare ass.

Mark and Robin send thanks from their toasty living rooms.

I wouldn’t wish this crap on these asshats or my worst enemies. Except the puzzles.

The final challenge takes place on the proverbial witch’s nipple.

The final three Disastrous Duos are revealed. (Spoilers within for those who haven’t watched!)

What’s Portuguese for “schadenfreude”?

TJ gets all Jeff Probst and calls out CT and Diem on their boneheaded Dome choice.

Emily brings some “theatrical fun” from a more backward century.

Emily mixes up “innocent” and “ignorant.”

Camila gets FUBAR, and Cara Maria busts Abe’s balls repeatedly.

Camila is a problematic drinker, and the challenge involves touching each other on a 20-foot pole.

Jasmine and Tyrie bicker, the cast straddles a log, and Mark’s mouth gets him talked about, or so we hear.

The exes seem to be getting along, except the ones who fall on each other’s heads.

Go cry, Emo Abe.

Knees are busted, teeth are chipped, big holes are dug in the sand.

Vinny is a brainless slab of beef, and Wes is a luckless pile of turkey.

In which one cast member reminds us why these people don’t have real jobs.

I have to assume that jumping into the water without any kind of surfactant would just make them wet and sticky. But I’ve never swum in the Dominican Republic. Maybe their water is special. Or maybe these people are just really, really slippery.