Forget a love triangle. I want a love octagon!
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Lucy demonstrates why she’s unemployable. Score another win for Kristin!
I locked her in the car. I know this season was hard to get through, but we did it! We did it together! And somewhere along the way, lost some shitty characters like Bulimia, Troll and Holly. Ah well, better luck next season, bitches! This episode, Kristin says no to Justin then yes. Broahday says [...]
That’s my “bite your dick off” face. This week on The Hills, Kristin hones her man huntin’ by courting Brody and his plastic surgery mishap of a mother. Jayde and Kristin have a quasi-fight at the kids’ favorite hangout, Playhouse and Spencer doesn’t know about the human body, or the logistics of a vasectomy! Ooops! [...]
Cry, but do it pretty for the cameras… This week on the massive shitshow in my life that is THE HILLS, Kristin has a big ‘ol party and invites the usual gang of idiots. Justin says he’s not going to show, then does, and Kristin contemplates dating Brody…and vice versa after enduring Jayde’s gross face [...]
This Week: Zombie impressions, alcoholism and a lack of anti-frizz serum A personal triumph for me: I only puked a little today when writing this recap! I think I’m getting desensitized. Anyhoo, Kristin goes home to Laguna to make out with her Dad, while HBUD and Spence have growing concern with Holly being fucking cool [...]
For just 5 cents a day, you could take care of a Hill’s member’s costly feeding fee. This week on the hills, Brody has his 26th surprise party and I’m wasted for the occasionI Jayde gets pissed that Kristin is there, but then laughs when she gets beaned by a water balloon and by Justin [...]
This week, the girls get makeovers. Oh, the Hills. Where would we be without our regular dose of living assery? Probably not in MALIBU, watching this episode, where Justin Bobby finally puts his penis into Kristin’s vagina. Also, Blahdrina is boring and everyone else is dumb.