POSTS TAGGED: mariah carey

Hope you all are recovering from Amber’s unjust dismissal last week. I’ve been so upset that this show was dead to me, until I remembered I have a recap to write.  Ryan starts off by welcoming the wise and professional judges, including a blonde Chaka Khan with plumber crack cleavage. He mentions that Mariah clearly [...]

New judges?

Welcome to TVgasm’s newest weekly show, It’s TV! With Ronnie and Carrie. Today, we discuss Farrah Abraham’s nasty sex tape, Adrienne Maloof’s terrible shoes, and WE TV’s new show, Pregnant and Dating!   Let us know what you think in the comments, and like, subscribe and comment on our YouTube page. These will be posted every [...]

We return for the results show after an episode that made everyone question their worldview: Is Randy Jackson not the prolific wizard of vast musical knowledge that we’ve always thought? Could a guest mentor be a better judge than an actual resting-on-his-laurels-for-over-10-years judge? Yes and yes, but I still think Harry Connick Jr. is kind of a [...]

  The one redeeming quality of this show is that I get to see someone’s heart shatter into a million pieces on live television when they learn that the most they have to look forward to is a three-minute song on a results show next season. Tonight, there were no redeeming qualities. Except maybe seeing [...]

  Another week, another jaunt to the children’s hospital. When this show isn’t cringe-worthy or mind-numbingly boring, it’s downright depressing. The one bright spot is Amber’s new curly ‘do. I’m hoping next week she’ll appear with a nose implant to further her transition into Barbara Streisand.    Amber, never let them film your right side. [...]

Rumors

  As you can see from the photo above, the dress code the producers issued to the judges was “Evening Gowns or Ratty T-Shirts from Urban Outfitters.” Nicki, always the rebel,  refused to comply. I hope they make her smell Laz’s pits for punishment. The Top 7 perform “Somebody To Love” by Queen. Sounds like [...]

 ”Wonder if Cee Lo makes more than I do?”   It’s been a long hard week of excluding Lazaro from group activities save for the occasional cruel practical joke where he’s the target (you know you’d do the same), but the finalists are ready to roll for Rock Week.  That’s right – Rock. No ballads, [...]

  The show opens with the contestants standing in two straight lines as Ryan goes into some bunk about how the contestants all “come from different backgrounds.” Yeah, they come from all different backgrounds besides the white male kind of background. Way to pat yourselves on the back for your behind-the-scenes race and gender orchestration [...]

A stutter and some tears = reality show Kryptonite. As challenging as it is to take an elderly gentleman dressed like the football team captain in a porno seriously, I appreciate Jimmy Iovine’s criticism of the judges’ lack of criticism. He thinks they go too easy on these people who couldn’t even hack it on [...]

Don’t cry. There are other too-hot-and-young-for-you fish in the sea.   Sad single Ryan puts on a brave face and shows up for work. Must be hough. Er, I mean, tough. But before we get to see our Top 9, we must endure Carly Rae Jepson’s faux husky sex voice as she moans and groans about soda. Sorry, sexy only works [...]

No urban hangers!!!!! Ryan kicks off the show, accompanied by ear-splitting decibels of teen shrieks.  I feel like I’m at a Michael Jackson concert in Belarus in 1989. Except it’s really a Bon Jovi concert in 2013. Again, I’m completely out of touch with what the young folk are into (or “digging with a shovel”, as I imagine they like to [...]

 She’s late, she’s late, for a very important show nobody watches anymore.   Our Top 10 has had a week off to play with their snap bracelets or listen to rap music or do whatever it is teenagers do in their free time nowadays. I sure know what ol’ Cotton Mouth Arthur’s been up to [...]

If anything’s askew, it’s Angie Miller’s hair. After the harrowing experience of having to hear songs by Fergie and Colton Dixon in the same week, our Top 10 are finally revealed.  Sick Human Being. With great skin. Is it just me, or does Ryan seem to really delight in the process of sending people home? [...]

RUFIO! RUFIO!   We’re back in Vegas for the Guys Semi Final Round. Yes, this is a rather effeminate bunch, but that’s why I love them so. Those Phillip Phillips/Kris Allen/Lee DeWyze types can eat a fart, as far as I’m concerned. Here we go!  Elijah Liu sings “Stay” by Rihanna – Close your eyes, [...]

***Please welcome your newest recapper to the fold to take over American Idol, TripleThick!! Since there are 500 hours of Idol a week until the top ten or whatever, we’ve asked TT to just give us her quick impressions of each singer! Full recaps will start with regular performance shows!    Ryan greets us at [...]

It’s sudden death…but not the kind that happens to up-and-coming rappers on the Strip. Drive-by shooting leads to 6-vehicle collision; 3 dead It’s been a busy week in Vegas, Gasmii! Not only was there a Tupac-style gundown just a block from where Tupcac himself was riddled with bullets (may he rest in peace), American Idol is in town for [...]

Otherwise known as, “Our last ditch effort to become relevant.” Howdy Gasm guys and gal!  Plockness monster here and I am ready to pitch in and contribute my part in recapping this train wreck known as American Idol.  Sorry y’all, but I haven’t watched a full season since the first AI disaster, so bare with [...]

Group Round Takes Its Toll On The Ladies Hey there, Gasmii! Did everyone have a happy made-up-holiday-to-convince-people-to-buy-cards-chocolate-and-jewelry? I so love that it’s named for a saint to make it seem less…profit-motivated. I spent my Valentine’s Day being serenaded by the ladies of American Idol Season 12, who have descended upon Hollywood in an attempt to earn a [...]

Don’t sing Bruno Mars. Bruno Mars can barely sing Bruno Mars.

Hey Gasmii! My name is Dashley, and I am a recovering Idol-holic. I used to watch this show religiously, forsaking a personal life in order to be a part of the revolutionary idea of choosing who the next music superstar should be. And then I hit rock bottom: Adam Lambert didn’t win his season. And [...]

It’s the season premiere of American Idol. Where better to start than New York.

Just another day of buuuulls**t: Mariah Carey likes boning to the sound of her own squeals, Lena Dunham can’t stop oversharing, and MJ from Shahs of Sunset is plastered all over the net in a bikini. Also, Brooke Burke tries sobering up again and Crystal Harris earns a ring! For more videos, subscribe to our [...]

Can’t we all just get along?

(This week is the spirit of spoofiness, phony twitter conversations and possibly fake beefs, Dear TvGasm listens to the problems of American Idol’s Niki Minaj. Please be aware that we will take a break from out usual format, because Miz Nikki only comunicates by Twitter©) Because what could go wrong with this crew?      [...]

Damage control anyone?

As if nothing happened

Diva power struggle

It’s official

Less pitchy

Officially the highest paid TV judge

It’s official!

A new diva is coming to town

Never trust the devil.

Night one of the Judges’ Homes.

Guest judges

Just call Simon “Daddy Warbucks.”

Mariah Carey is joining The X-Factor. She’s not confirmed to be a judge, but she will be on the show in some capacity. I wonder if they’ll have her host?? I’d much rather see her as a judge, just to see her in all of her crazy glory, but whatevs…as long as Crazy McGhee is [...]

Simon Cowell has put out his short wish list of possible judges for The X-Factor. His favs include: Nicole Scherzinger, Mariah Carey, Paula Abdul, and George Michael. I’m up for all of those names except for Nicole Scherzinger. She’s not REALLY that big of a draw for me. I understand why Simon would want her [...]