POSTS TAGGED: millionaire matchmaker recap

Mama got her mixer!

Divas and bores

Brothers ain’t got a clue

Idiots on bad dates

Don’t try to hide who you are!

Nothing new here.

Masculine Energy dating

Female Fabios and Wakeboarders

“Hello? Yes, I’m still a tool. Thank you for calling.” Hi all my friends, companions, and lovers! I mean, lovers of TV and friends of TVGasm, of course! Are you ready to pick apart this week’s Millionaire Matchmaker? The final episode of the season? Except for the LIVE reunion show this Tuesday? You are?! I [...]

Hola, ‘Gasmii! How was your week? Did you enjoy the big basketball heartbreakers? Watch Desmond connect past, present, and future? Take on a second job? Run your first half-marathon? Count three out of four for me, friends, which means I’m ready to relax and talk about some funky millionaires. This week, we have a chunky [...]

No, not that kind of Strom. Oh hi! Were you dating someone for the past month or two, content with how it was going, even if it wasn’t that exciting and you knew he wasn’t the love of a lifetime, but at least it filled a teensy little empty place in your life, for now [...]

Well, hello! How’ve you been? Did you abruptly stop eating red meat and move far, far away from that toxic oil refinery that loomed over your backyard? Did you run out and buy a hybrid? Did you find love? Don’t worry, none of those chumps did either. That’s why this show exists! This week, we [...]

Another week, another set of bozos. Welcome back to Millionaire Matchmaker, my ‘gasmic friends. This week, we meet a narcissistic gay entrepreneur who thinks he’s the organic bee’s knees, and we watch a ball-busting millionairess…bust some balls. I’m pretty sure these two won’t be counted in Patti’s “very high success rate”. Either way, it was [...]

Hello, friends! How’s your love life going? Are you rich and confused about what set of private parts you’d like to play with? Were you raised in the middle of nowhere and thus harbor a “strange is bad!” mentality? No? Well, then you’re better off than our two friendly millionaires this week. Patti’s gonna hook [...]

Welcome back, my ever-lovin’ Gasmii fans! Did you miss me? Did you miss Patti? I guess Lindsay Vonn and Apollo Oh-No! trumped millionaires making fools of themselves last week, but I sure relished the night off to sit around in my snowflake jammies, guzzling back a little too much chocolate wine. What, you hadn’t heard? [...]

I thought the other night was bad. I was reeling from watching LOST, and then I headed over to happy millionaire dating land, where all should be mentally well and socially skilled, right? To my horror, I was instead subjected to the blech that is Jason “Gummi Bear” Davis. You thought that I was joking [...]

Boy oh boy, how can we ever recover from the mess that Shauna hath brought upon us last week? It’s like no one will ever find love again! What is a millionaire to do?! Oh, stop, they just need to call Patti Stanger and, BAM, success. Right? Right. Bring it on, Millionaire Matchmaker.

In her glory days in Minnesota What do you do when some crazy Botoxed cougar with a needle nose and death stare who’s previously been a big ol’ bitch to you comes back and supposedly wants a second chance? If you’re Patti Stanger, you bitch up and down to anyone who will listen, give Botoxed [...]

Last week on Millionaire Matchmaker, we met two business dorks who were very interested in finding love advertising their business. We also learned that Patti’s now engaged to her beloved Andy, and wedding planning is in the works. So what’s in store for us this week? A shrill little boy with teensy hands who wants [...]

She’s baaaaaaaack! Pecker!!! Oh, I’m sorry. Hi! Welcome to the third season of Millionaire Matchmaker, where weirdos with too much money and not enough sense get set up on micromanaged dates with models and pharmaceutical sales reps (or gay men)! Sure, the occasional normal person slips in, but that makes boring TV. Bring on the [...]