POSTS TAGGED: parody

I have to assume that jumping into the water without any kind of surfactant would just make them wet and sticky. But I’ve never swum in the Dominican Republic. Maybe their water is special. Or maybe these people are just really, really slippery.

This week on the Jersey Shore…. Danny is sick and tired of the housemates dicking off at work, and with Vinny and Mike gone he says that he’s going to find them new roommates. Our Guidos/Guidettes become very territorial and insular upon hearing this, except for Pauly D., who’s glass-half-full disposition recognizes an exciting opportunity [...]

  I wonder who’s bright idea it was to hold auditions in Aspen? It doesn’t make much sense when you think about it. Aspen is small. Aspen is expensive. Aspen is a destination town, not the hub of Colorado. Sounds perfect! I blame Randy. I blame Randy for everything To justify the Aspen location, we [...]

Brooding isn’t as sexy as monsters think.

Honey is surprisingly slippery.

I’ve lost that loving feeling.

Pretty people problems.

In which Pauly has a happy birthday, and Mike does not.

He’s leaving, in a midnight cab to Staten Island

Reese does a very bad thing.

Carter doesn’t totally suck this episode.

Oh, No. Here go hell come.

Everyone realises Kim is bat-shit crazy.

Some mothers eat their young.

The newest installment of the Housewives, gasm style.

Mother’s a bitch.

This is how they do it, Carter!

Use the cushion!

The “Gasmii Told You So” Episode

Hijinks ensue when a vampire and a werewolf move in with a ghost.

Kim questions her marriage, Kris questions being married into Kim’s family.

Thursday, Jan. 5 What’s spellcheck ever done for me? Toddlers & Tiaras (TLC, 6 pm) Large prizes draw contestants to the America’s Trezured Dollz pageant in Nashville, Tenn. Candice? Are you sure you spelled the name of that pageant right? Project Runway All Stars (Lifetime, 9 pm) Guest judges include famed fashionista Miss Piggy and [...]

Just in time for Christmas!

I shudder through yet another insect-filled recap.

Reese rethinks saving Carter’s life last week.

Tonight we bitterly learn what the expression “No good deed goes unpunished,” really means. We also learn once and for all that Carter is more of a menace than Elias, patchouli-wearing hippies on a bus and crabs combined. Before that, Reese stops by the library and after snooping around and finding an embarrassing photo of [...]

Christmas was weird in the 60s.

Wednesday, Dec. 14th Ghost Hunters (SYFY, 7 pm) The crew investigates a town overrun by paranormal events. And yet, they manage to catch exactly nothing on film. The Rosie Show (OWN, 7 pm) Rosie O’Donnell’s big return to television comes in the form of “The Rosie Show” for Oprah Winfrey’s OWN Network. No, I don’t [...]

To the lost.

Atlantic City: Same as it ever was.

E! News (E!, 7 pm) Ryan Seacrest and Giuliana Rancic offer an often irreverent look at Hollywood happenings. I bet having Alzheimer’s feels just like watching E! News. Rolling with Zach (OWN, 8 pm) Zach Anner, who uses a wheelchair, participates in activities like rock climbing and sailing on the show. Zach’s in a wheelchair. [...]

Carter’s like “fetch.” She’s just not going to happen.

They really want us to love Carter.

Everyone’s screwed!

My eyes. My eyes.

Jimmy’s no Nucky.

Jimmy makes a horrible mistake.

Every saint has a past and every sinner has a future.

Mistakes are made.

Reese meets his future.