Who’ll be the new judge?
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Will the real Piers Morgan, please stand up!
The real gift to America: a legion of undiscovered talent, or the three hours we’ll all be gaining every week?
Tonight on America’s Got Talent, the cast of Jersey Boys learn that they’re the equivalent of the Muppets+David Hasselhoff. Just a few more careers AGT is happy to destroy.
Last week, America catapulted the heavy favorites and eventual winners Voices of Glory, Grandma Lee, and Kevin Skinner into the Finals. So now that we have our Empire of acts with questionable talent and unbelievably overblown popularity, tonight we build our Rebel Alliance of truly talented individuals. Barbara and Lawrence are ready to lead the [...]
Lucy wrapping chocolates. The MASH finale. And, this episode of America’s Got Talent.
It’s the Semi-Finals, and it’s time for “the competition to reach a whole new level.” If only my excitement would follow suite.
So tonight the quarterfinals officially come to again. We get to sit through all these acts AGAIN in the semifinals, and then once more in the finals. Let’s just give Kevin Skinner a million dollars and go home.
Previously on America’s Got Talent, Eleisha went home. So aren’t we done?
The producers try to make us forget the Carey-Cannon LoveFest of 09 with Penn and Teller and LMFAO. I begrudgingly give it a chance.
Tonight on AGT, twelve more acts. We put the A-Team up last week, so let’s let the beta acts duke it out for five undeserved spots!
Like the geeky freshman that just wants to fit in, America’s Got Talent has offically added a result show so that it can hang out and smoke with American Idol and Dancing with the Stars. Samantha Harris is the only reason to watch those result shows, and because Nick even fails at faily comically, I [...]
The judges, once drunk on power with the ability to accept or reject anyone in the nation, now awake with the hangover of responsibility as they survey the acts that they selected and desperately hope that they start displaying some talent. That’s all metaphorical, but I bet they got shitfaced last night, too.
Night 2 of the Montage Mandates, and once again we the viewer can only watch in horror as the judges likely eliminate the good, vote through the bad, and force us to watch montage after ugly montage. Will the remaining Show-Enders (RIP mailmen) be voted through? What’s to become of my EriAm sisters? And will [...]
Tonight on America’s Got Talent, we find out just how disgustingly attached I’ve grown to these acts over the last five weeks. This week they’re ripped from me one by one as I can do nothing but sit and watch helplessly. It’s a lot like my senior prom, only there’s more David Hasselhoff. OK, fine, [...]
Tonight on America’s Got Talent: Susan Boyle is a bigger star than the President of the United States, And now you’re caught up.
America’s Got Talent begins this week with a new rule book. With last week’s acceptance of any entertainer that wins the judges over personally and this week’s announcement about the judges picking their Top 40 acts for Round 2 and uncerimoniously dismissing the others, Piers, Sharon, and David now have a free pass to approve [...]
I don’t know about the rest of you, but I’m ready for Round 2.
It’s another week, and that means more America’s Got Talent open auditions. Ratings have revealed that good old AGT is currently the #1 show in America, so I can construct these fun facts: 1.) I have only recapped America’s Got Talent for TVgasm, 2.) America’s Got Talent is watched by the most people in the [...]
It’s a Wednesday night, and since Lost is on hiatus it’s America’s Got Talent time. Who will join the mass of acts deemed talented enough to compete in Las Vegas in the far-oof Round 2. More importantly, who will join Voices of Glory, the unpopular dancing kid, and the yokel as the show-ending act that [...]
Another week, another two nights of America’s Got Talent. It’s around this point I’m starting to realize that the producers are probably going to just quietly dismiss a lot of these acts being pushed through to Vegas, because just the first week of auditions left us with a lot of goddamn talent. But I suppose [...]
Welcome back to another night of America’s Got Talent, and Hopefully Another Susan Boyle. Tonight we resume our search for more talent, more terrible acts that will be far more entertaining than the talented ones, and another moment to compete with the little kids singing “God Bless America” for Most Nauseatingly Sweet Act. Fortunately, our [...]
***Please welcome your newest recapper into the fold, Moorels! The fourth season premiere of America’s Got Talent had everything the show promised us. Amazing acts, hilariously terrible acts, and warming of the heart, both genuine and constructed. Judges Piers Morgan, Sharon Osbourne, and none other than David Hasselhoff himself led us through the crowd of [...]