POSTS TAGGED: real housewives of nyc

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Marnia uses her new pet Eric in a plan to assassinate Queen Beel!

Ding dong the bitches are dead… to us.

The big finale is finally here! Prego and Meno and Psycho – oh my!

The girls are back with examples on how to get your children to put you in a home by 60!

Rammy plans a party while Simon plans his own self-destruction.

J-Mo, Nads, Flipit, B-Side, and Matt talk your ears off.

…and I’ll Crazy-Eyes if I Want To!

The girls return from their trip to discover that Sonja is bankrupt!

Get them in!

We’re back for the last installment of everyone’s favorite trilogy: “Spar Wars: Return of the Bitchi”!

Housewives, Platinum Hit, Million Dollar Decorators, and cutting.

They’ll do for Moroccan tourism what the Icelandic volcano did for Europe.

The girls gear up for a cluster f of Moroccan proportions!

It’s the fight we’ve all been waiting for! Jill vs. Ramona!

The fight we’ve all been waiting for: Jill vs. Ramona!!

The ladies all apologize so they can get back to what they do best… fighting.

The girls have a blast in the Hamptons! (Meaning they hate each other)

It’s the episode of “ME!” as the ladies fight over who it’s all about!

The craziest crew of the franchise is back. So is bBitz!

More Housewives coming your way.

All this lying makes me want to lie down.

The beginning of Bethenny’s? new? show?

Let’s take a fun trip with two or three of our best girlfriends and include a sociopath!

This week starts out with a mystery. Not the one where we all wonder why on earth Jill would get drunk on her own power and smash an entire country’s faith in her.

Labor Day seems like a long way off at the moment but let’s relive last year’s with the NYC bitches, eh? Grab your old checkered tablecloth with the stains from queer Tony’s pitcher of purple hooters and throw down mom’s best chinette plates. Load them up with equally heaping helpings of BBQ pork and booze [...]

Dear Gasmi, This is it!! The final part of the final episode! And it’s time to party… OMG My penis! What have you done with my penis?! Just remember, mornings after can be a real bitch…

Dear Gasmi, This is it! Woohoo! Part 1 of our reunion episode. I’ve got my yummy Frangelico Hazelnut cupcakes (shouts out to FloOky!!) and I’m ready to go. Let’s rumble!

Dear Gasmi, It’s finally here. We’ve laughed, we’ve cried, and we’ve even gagged a few times. My liquor cabinet is looking a little depleted and I need baby oil to fit into my jeans. It’s been a truly awesome season. May the magic continue…*sniff* But before I get all teary eyed, there’s a finale to [...]

Dear Gasmi, This week it’s Halloween in hausenfrau land!! All of our ladies are ready and willing to entertain us with a variety of costumes, and, really, this week is a lot like our own private freakshow. Featuring the first woman to be fully rejected by her implants. Seriously, would somebody please rescue those poor [...]

Dear Gasmi, Have you ever been invited to one of those parties where you’re expected to buy some really embarrassing lingerie, and you don’t realize it until you get there? That’s pretty much this week’s episode. Seriously, if it wasn’t bolted down chances are that one of the hausenfrau was selling it. Well, somebody’s got [...]

Dear Gasmi, This week Bravo takes a step toward becoming a fabulous new kind of QVC channel. Only $29.99 if you call in the next ten minutes, and we’ll throw the vase in for free. I’m definitely recommending lots of alcohol for this episode. It’s a lot more fun to watch people behaving badly, when [...]

Dear Gasmi, This week must have been a series of headline induced orgasmic moments for Andy Cohen. Every day another housewife imploded on the horizon. Over in Orange County, more Slade/Gretchen pictures were popping up and, not to be outdone, Crack Ho Vicki announced that she’d been receiving death threats. Who’d have thunk it? Meanwhile, [...]

Dear Gasmi, This week we get to know a little bit more about Old Leather Face and even the Countess comes off looking good. And then a white light descended and I just knew that God meant for me to be famous and rich and did I say famous? I’ve officially gone to the dark [...]

Dear Gamsi, I love food and I hate diets. Sadly, despite my best intentions, I’ve gained an impressive three pounds this week. So, for the present, I’m sucking up pears and champagne (shouts out to Kizarny) and seriously missing my gummi bears. But, like any good brainwashed bravolite, I’m all ready to find some inspiration [...]

Dear Gasmi, This week JZ and Brad make a pitch for their own gay sitcom; Bethenny gets to play covergirl; Ramona rocks a bikini; Silex floats in a backyard pool of denial; and the Count-ass earns her title. Whoopsi, I forgot Kelly. Well on the TV she’s still meh, but in real life… Holy Cow!! [...]

Dear Gasmi, I don’t know what it is about these women, but they definitely bring out my decadent side. I’ve got Ben and Jerry’s cookie dough ice cream swimming in Bailey’s with a mound of whipped cream on top. I’m guessing that none of those ingredients are in Bethenny’s Naturally Thin book, and you know [...]

Dear Gasmi, This week Christian Siriano makes a cameo as JZ’s mother, Bethenny gets on the single girl train, Ramona reveals her inner roid head, the Countess embarrasses nobility everywhere, and Kelly is meh. I dream of a world where dogs can chew bones without worrying about staining their clothes. Got your skinny girl margaritas? [...]

Hey Gasmii: Like a hungry family in the middle of the night, the Bravo staff went back to the Hausenfrau of NYC carcass and picked over its remains, pulling out a few overlooked pieces to serve up for a midnight snack. There’s not much here, but it in a time of Hausenfrau famine, I’m grateful [...]

Howza Gasmii, I’m sorry it took an extra day to post this recap. I’ve had a heck of time writing it and I’ve fumbled around starting and stopping it several times. I’m not sure why it’s so hard to write, except that once I write it I know this recapping assignment is over and I’m [...]