POSTS TAGGED: real housewives of orange county

Dear Gasmii, This week our middle-aged mommas do their best to stay up late and shake their booties for us. I’m giving them an ever-loving ‘A’ for effort, cuz it’s hard to put in a long day of strutting, drinking, eating, bitching, gambling, slutting, and dancing, when you’re used to gently passing out by 9:00 [...]

Dear Gasmi, Millions and millions of dollars around the world have been spent on researching ways to effectively slow population growth. Yet with relatively little effort Bravo has put the kibosh on biological clocks this week by reintroducing Jeana’s oldest son and reminding us of the down side to parenting. I recommend blowing up the [...]

Dear Gasmi, After a crayayzy week in Chicago dealing with family matters, I am so happy to be back in the warm, fuzzy world of the Gasm. Not that Chicago isn’t great, I love Chicago. I had deep-dish pizza, prime rib, cheesecake, and met the Anti-Christ. No, I’m not kidding. I’m happy to tell you [...]

Dear Gasmii, I’m so sorry this week’s recap is late. What can I say? Manual labor does not agree with me and invariably leads to massive injury. Let me tell you, being stuck flat on my back is not helping me lose the holiday weight. On the other hand, those painkillers sure do make watching [...]

Dear Gasmii, This week the producers at Bravo have officially thrown down the gauntlet to snarky recappers everywhere. Not only do Ryan, Tamra, and Gretchen all cry, but their storylines include such light hearted topics as cancer and miscarriages interspersed with skanky music videos and skankier tattoos. So do you think fatal diseases and personal [...]

Dear Gasmii, This week the producers over at Bravo have decided to treat us to a special episode of Girls Gone Wild: Where Are They Now? Sadly, we find out that they’re still in the same place and wearing the same bikinis. God help us all. Like many aspects of our country over the past [...]

Dear Gasmii; As we head into the hardcore festivities that make up this awesome season, it has become abundantly clear to me that God is seriously fucking with my life. I don’t say this lightly. Despite the ice storm, the lack of power, the gas guzzling generator, the Judeo-Christian holy war that opposing family members [...]

Dear Gasmii, I’m so excited. I totally enjoyed watching the Orange County housewives this week. A little less Lauri, a little more Jeana, and enough Tamra and Simon to offset Vicki and Donn. All in all, a great recipe for an awesome Housewife cake. No, I haven’t forgotten about Gretchen. I just don’t want to [...]

Dear Gasmii, Welcome back to the home sweet home of our favorite buxom botoxed ladies. A place where self indulgence is a must, and it’s always okay to ask for more. In Orange County even the bunnies are super happy to see you. And, yes, that is a furry purple penis you’re looking at. My [...]

Dear Gasmii, At long last, the one and only, Original Housewife docuwreck is back!!! And, this time the producers are doing it right. No more of these random non-blond, mail order type cougars for the cast. Nope, with the exception of Jeana, we’re going all blond and plastic. You can bet good money that carpets [...]