POSTS TAGGED: reality

Shit just got real.

The question is answered.

Only one week left, thank Gokey. To remind us that this program is a joke compared to its competitors, Ryan kicks off the show by interacting with animated characters from a stupid Pixar movie or some crap. I’ve never heard of The Voice hawking Ford Pintos or the Who Framed Roger Rabbit prequel, which might [...]

These lovebirds are gettin’ hitched!

One of these four teams is about to be the winner of AR Season 22 and get one million smackeroos! And then Berry and I will have to quietly wait until season 23 starts so we can double our efforts name dropping the Ford Focus or Fusion so we are finally given one! But that’s [...]

Goin’ to tha chapel!

Jordan and Nia are sexually frustrated: brought to you by Subway

Amazing Race you are almost over! I can’t bear it! Project Runway is done and when AR is finished Berry and I will have NOTHING LEFT!! We will just have to spend our days thinking about our baby or something and our baby does NOT form catty imaginary alliances with other teams of babies, BORING! [...]

Following in the footsteps of Nick and Jessica!

Sadly, also with 98% less interesting stuff going on…

RIght now Sherri would sleep with you for a meatball…

This season is flying by isn’t it?! Wow, Berry and I thought for sure we’d get some of these kittens adopted by the time this season was over but it’s just happening so fast! Now this litter has about three litters of their own going! These guys are still in it: Slapshot (Bates & Anthony) [...]

Good day fellow race fans! Fran & Big B comin’ attcha with this weeks recap! Who do we got left? Slapshot (Bates & Anthony) CMT (Caroline & Jennifer) Internet (Joey & Meghan) Mullet (Chuck & Wynona) Jammer Moms (Mona & Beth) Psycho (Max & Katie) What are we doing this leg? Hanging with Phil at [...]

Sorry, we’re a week late, we took Lil’ C down to Florida to get her some hair plugs since she’s seven months old and still bald. Unacceptable! We heard the best hair plug guy in the business lives in Florida, and he’ll even braid it for free. Unfortunately, he was on a vacation to LA [...]

  As you can see from the photo above, the dress code the producers issued to the judges was “Evening Gowns or Ratty T-Shirts from Urban Outfitters.” Nicki, always the rebel,  refused to comply. I hope they make her smell Laz’s pits for punishment. The Top 7 perform “Somebody To Love” by Queen. Sounds like [...]

  The show opens with the contestants standing in two straight lines as Ryan goes into some bunk about how the contestants all “come from different backgrounds.” Yeah, they come from all different backgrounds besides the white male kind of background. Way to pat yourselves on the back for your behind-the-scenes race and gender orchestration [...]

Sugar Pie Honey Pile of Steaming Crap Cake. Great news – it’s Detroit Night! Coneys and urban prairie for everybody! Smokey Robinson is in the building, looking younger and fresher than Mariah Carey on her 43rd birthday. Vitamin C serum, people. I’ve been saying it for days (since I saw it on Dr. Oz). I [...]

Don’t cry. There are other too-hot-and-young-for-you fish in the sea.   Sad single Ryan puts on a brave face and shows up for work. Must be hough. Er, I mean, tough. But before we get to see our Top 9, we must endure Carly Rae Jepson’s faux husky sex voice as she moans and groans about soda. Sorry, sexy only works [...]

Ahoy Race Fans! Fran and Berry here, intact and ready to take on the world! Well, maybe not the whole world but at least wherever the heck this episode of AR takes us. Last week we excitedly waved goodbye to Team Broseph. (Or should I say Team No Regrets? I have no regrets that they [...]

Hey Race Fans! Fran here! Back from the nondescript Midwest and ready to take the plunge into this big bad season of AR. Lil’ C and I returned last night to find Berry face down in a Pillsbury pie tin. Who recaps Hoarders? Because they can come over here for some hands on experience. I’ll [...]

RUFIO! RUFIO!   We’re back in Vegas for the Guys Semi Final Round. Yes, this is a rather effeminate bunch, but that’s why I love them so. Those Phillip Phillips/Kris Allen/Lee DeWyze types can eat a fart, as far as I’m concerned. Here we go!  Elijah Liu sings “Stay” by Rihanna – Close your eyes, [...]

Dear TVGasm readers, As you may have noticed Fran and I have not been around recapping your favorite million dollar scramble sponsored by Ford Focus, The Amazing Race. Right now Fran is out of town because she had a death in the family. Some second cousin got his ding dong stuck in a leaf blower [...]

How did it feel to get hosed out of $125,000.00 by your shitty sous-chefs?

The premiere of Iron Maiden Chef America!…

Ahhhh, mixing food with the miracle of childbirth…

I have no idea what is going on with this show any more…

She’s baaack!

The battle to see who can be more out-of-date in both looks and attitude…

We’ve sunk to a new low by watching bread rise…

I would have been constantly humming the tune of “My Heart Will Go On”…

When one door closes, a douchebag crawls in through the window…

The Chickens Have Come Home To Roost!

The 357th episode in a row where Blowsie is using a deep-fryer

Really? Girls? No. Really.

Someone’s going to get super-stabby in the kitchen!

Restaurant Wars! Except not really!

Welcome the Mayor of Excuses Village!

One big, long commercial for Wealthy Choice frozen foodstuffs…

Logan leaves, Kody’s hair threatens to leave, and Meri continues to be insufferable. But they’re all happy, doncha know.

The family faces a double loss, and later yammers on endlessly about how great their lives are.