POSTS TAGGED: reality

Hello everybody! I am soooo super-apologizing for the lateness of this recap, I was in Las Vegas this weekend with my sister and my “little” brother as we celebrated his 30th birthday (and by “celebrated” I mean “got intoxicated” and “ate insanely expensive meals” and “played our favorite people-watching game ‘Real Prostitute Or Just Super-Slutty [...]

We’re back – fresh from a non-elimination round and a world record for TV episode containing the most uses of the word “babe”! Ladies and Gentlemen – it’s AMAZING RACE! 6 teams are left and Nick and Starr are out of the gate first. The first clue – head to Deshbandhu Apartments for their next [...]

My BFF and I attended our high school’s 20-year reunion this past weekend (Go Cardinals!… or… whatever the hell our mascot was) and although I worked out obsessively and ate nothing but Tic-Tacs and Diet Dr. Pepper for the entire week before the event, I somehow did not magically lose the extra 60 pounds I’m [...]

I went to Los Angeles this past weekend, which is why you got such a quick recap out of me on last week’s show (for once) and I met up with Flipit, his friend Tricia, ChickBomb, and MonaMonzano for drinks on Friday night at the semi-famed Abbey, smack-dab in the middle of Boys Town (West [...]

Boy, it has been a long and strange eight weeks, hasn’t it? Never in life did I think I would have the opportunity to see so many walking doormat salon owners, poorly skilled colorists, badly-hygiened cutters and downright stupid support staff. We’ve seen just about every kind of managenent style, too… starting with the Micro- [...]

Back when I was a young boy, and still had hope for the future, I dreamed of a world in which everyone flitted about in personal hovercrafts and jet-packs (mysteriously avoiding zillions of mid-air collisions), computers would talk to us in British accents (they’d all sound like Joan Collins in her giant shoulder-padded Dynasty days), [...]

Does this man: a) Live for Ren Fests? b) Consider Hot Topic’s 1998 winter catalogue to be the last word in fashion? c) Make Liberace look butch? d) Teach thousands of men how to get laid and get more ass than the proverbial toilet seat? After the jump, people:

Offices, as a rule, suck as far as interior design goes. Unless you’re Anna Wintour (editor of Vogue) or Diane Von Furburger (famously accented fashion designer) or Martha Stewart (God), you pretty much are stuck with a room that has all the personality and sex-appeal of a wad of gum stuck under the conference room [...]

There’s at least one in every workplace. We’ve all been stuck at a desk or in a cube near her at some point. She’s the gal who wears the ill-fitting too-tight tops and low-rise capris (with thong undies) and doesn’t seem to understand that at a certain point spaghetti straps stop looking sexy and start [...]

I’ll be the first to admit that I am not the most athletic of men. When I’m motivated, I can get the hell up on a stage and shake my 250 pound ass so hard to the beats of Janet, Beyoncé and Rihanna that other people get injured… and then other times I find myself [...]

Sometimes I sit in my cubicle at work and stare off into space having one of my many Lottery Fantasies… one of which involves having my own adult film production company (mercifully for you, O Beloved Gasmii, I will not go into detail about it other than to say it would feature hefty men like [...]

In the world of Design, there is a fine line between looking chic… and looking like you take it up the ass. Well, actually, no, there really isn’t any difference between the two, and that’s why a lot of straight-male bachelor pads are probably “decorated” with generous quantities of dirt, body hair, stiff kleenex and [...]

When I was still a practicing Catholic (I say “practicing” because I never got really good at it… you know, the whole “I-go-to-church-on-Sundays-so-that-gives-me-carté-blanche-to-be-a-raging-dickwad-towards-the-rest-of-humanity-the-other-six-days-of-the-week” thing) my little sister and I co-owned a concession stand at the Bingo games on Sunday Night at Our Lady Of Perpetual Help… …except we always called it “Our Lady Of Perpetual [...]

Remember back in the late 90′s when ABC held their “Viva Las Vegas” night, and there was a massive crossover with all their hit shows of the time, between “Coach” and “Ellen” and “Grace Under Fire” and “The Drew Carey Show”? Over the course of two hours you got to see separate episodes of all [...]

In my tremendously exciting and stimulating day job as a Medicare D Claims Analyst / Adjuster (*snort*.. my job title has the word “anal” in it…) I am often forced to tackle projects with a “teammate” or “partner”. Sometimes this pairing is super-simpatico and the two of us spend our planning sessions eating Chex Mix [...]

After only two episodes of this show, I have fallen deeper in love with Tabatha Coffey than I already was before! What is it about searing criticism delivered with a foreign accent that makes it so much more palatable? I don’t know, but I, for one, find it incredibly fascinating… and I think the next [...]

When I was a wee lad just 15 years old, I told my mother that I wanted to “redecorate” my half of the horrible basement room I shared with my older brother. The people who had lived in our house before us had been extremely patriotic and had wallpapered the room in an eye-searingly hideous [...]

Have you ever met someone who so completely and utterly and pointlessly pushes every single irritation, aggravation and frustration button that you have ever been wired with, mostly all at the same time, and they are amazingly able to accomplish this just by opening their mouth?… …this is him… You’re all in for a real [...]

Welcome everyone! This is J-Mo, and I am the wacky fatboy nutjob who has been guiding the ‘gasm through the bitch-infested waters of Shear Genius Season 2 these past two months, which has been extremely rewarding (and sleep-depriving). I was actually a fan of Shear Genius from the beginning, and my absolute favorite stylestant on [...]

Have you ever been sitting there in your cubicle, staring at an Excel spreadsheet for six hours straight and typing in scads of teeny-tiny figures while the ass-kissing twats in your office yuk it up in the high-walled cube next to yours that contains your boss, skating their way out of doing any real work [...]

This week on I Want To Work For Diddy, Diddy tries to convince us that navigating a forest with just a compass and a protractor has something to do with being his personal assistant — while yet again refusing to make a personal appearance. Plus: bigotry, stupidity, and obesity. Try to match that, Trump! Here’s [...]

Ladies and Gentlemen – we’ve made it! Tonight we find out who America’s Favorite Dancer is – Twitch, Katee, Joshua or Courtney?! Only one of them was right when they thought they could dance – because tonight they’ll find out that they, indeed, can dance when they win So You Think You Can Dance!! (Get [...]

“We’re totally over each other.” So here we are, back for another excruciating episode of Date My Ex. We have to first backtrack and watch Jo pretend to be shocked again that Slade has the gall to participate in this ordeal she’s going through – as if they didn’t come up with this together. So [...]

Man! I knew it. I knew there was going to be an episode of this show where the non-blondes dyed their hair blonde to finally, really really become Elle Woods. I had hoped it would happen earlier in the season, when there were 4 non-blondes. (Or even 5. Remember the sad sack Cassie O?). But [...]

“I never meant to hurt you…” Well, it’s been a long road, my friends. A long painful road through this season of The Bachelorette. DeAnna returned from torturous rejection to show the world THE CORRECT way to do this show. She was treated completely unfairly and humiliated before the nation, so she came back to [...]

“Oh the boys must be SO happy to see me again!” Hey beloved readers, I know I promised to recap the The Bachelorette Men Tell Nothing, so I’m presenting this just before I dive into the THREE HOUR finale recap. Hope you enjoy and that it will hold you over until we can jointly shred [...]

We’re back for another exciting week of So You Think You Can Dance! Only 14 dancers – 7 couples – remain! It’s gonna be a quick show – OH BUT WAIT! Everyone’s dancing TWICE. Imagine my excitement. JUST when I though it’d get easier. I’m surprised Fox hasn’t turned it into a four hour show [...]

Hey Gasmii: Welcome to week 5 of She’s Got the Look!!! It’s the show that never disappoints!!! Every week we get to watch our truly awesome and beautiful women contestants being subjected to whims of the cognitively impaired producers. And this week is no different!!! Seriously, I think it’s important to offer all people, regardless [...]

“Graham, Graham, wherefore art thou Graham?” Tonight on The Bachelorette DeAnna goes on three nearly identical dates in the Bahamas. The guys can DEFINITELY see themselves falling in love with DeAnna and she can DEFINITELY see herself spending the rest of her life with each of them. It’s a Fantasy Overnight Three-peat to remember!

***Letter from the Editor: You guys have sent us letters asking for Shear Genius recaps, and we have found the perfect writer for you. Please welcome to newest member to the TVgasm family, J-MO!!! HOLLA! Now that Top Chef is finished for another season, and we’re waiting for another season of Project Runway to begin, [...]

Hey Gasmii, I’ve got to start off this week with a question – anyone else out there upset that Brittany got dissed by Tila? I mean, if there was anyone in this house who seemed like a somewhat normal person, it was Brittany. That being said, we all know this show is about Tila’s vanity [...]

This week on Living Lohan, I MISS NANAHAN! I worry for you, Nanahan! Stop slutting around and get your raisin to Vegas!

It’s elimination time once again on America’s “number once dance show” (according to Nigel – “suck it ABDC!”)… it’s So You Think You Can Dance! The opening number is to “The Dance” by Charlotte Martin. It definitely looks a little freaky… like I wouldn’t want to meet these people on the street – it looks [...]

We’re down to the sweet 16 – who will shine – who will fall – who will ride the Hot Tamale Train to obscurity?! It’s… So You Think You Can Dance! Our lovely host Cat comes prancing out and — WTF is she wearing?! It looks like she took her mother’s wedding gown and sluttified [...]

“I’m on the verge of a nervous breakdown…” Here we are, beloved readers, down to nine eligible bachelors on this, the fourth incarnation of The Bachelorette. It’s more and more interesting to me each week to note the differences between how guys act when competing for a girl versus how girls act when competing for [...]

Greetings, fellow lovers of The Mole! Are you ready for some AWESOME MOLE ACTION?! MOLE!!! AHH! Let me explain. I LOVE The Mole. I’m not sure there is a bigger fan on the planet of this show than me. It is my favorite reality game show of all time. I’ve seen every season, developed an [...]

Hey Gasmii; We’ve got a new show to play with and I’m so excited I don’t whether to cry, dance, or run around in circles with my pants on fire. Anyway, I think it’s safe to say that for the next few weeks, we’re going to party with ten middle-aged who are competing for the [...]

It’s raining men. Welcome to another super-sized episode of The Bachelorette! Tonight the guys dress up like cowboys, go on the Ellen DeGeneres show, and continue to hen peck one another in a grand romantic attempt to win DeAnna’s affection. I’ve got two hours to wade through so without further adieu, let’s get started!

Welcome back to week two! It’s Denise Richards versus the world this week. Or at least tabloid journalism. She also attempts to stop using the C-word, which I sure can’t figure out why she would want to. But our Itchy is complicated. And I don’t pretend to understand her mysterious ways. Read on as I [...]

If only I had one glove and a penchant for little boys. Now that would be a change. Welcome to finale part one of Step It Up and Dance! It’s all come down to this. Weeks of grueling partnering, exhausting prop work and never-ending gay Mexican hateration have brought us here. So what else is [...]