POSTS TAGGED: reality show

I feel like I should be walking through a mall and this is what is going on on that weird stage they set up by a bookstore.

In which we learn that people prefer Charles Manson to Eden Wood by a ratio of 95 to 1. Also, Fran is a hateful harridan. Again.

Remember those clowns?! Those married clowns?! No, not us, Fran and Berry, that married clown team from this season. Man, I hope those guys don’t surface on the next “all stars” season. The only clown we can stomach is Pennywise. “We all float down here.” We are still in Tanzania and Phil is fresh this [...]

More unpleasantness from the so-called E-Team.

Eden displays her multi-faceted talents.

Hey Fran and Berry here, back in the saddle for week eight of The Amazing Race. Now let’s get going because this saddle is crazy uncomfortable! Last week as the sun set on AR’s Tanzania leg Team Blowup came in first place and Team Girl Gun came in last, but it was a non-elimination round [...]

Eden works her particular brand of magic while her handlers snipe at each other.

Tabs and Norma Desmond whip a B&B into shape.

Baby Jane runs a B and B.

Howdy, Gasmii!  First up, I want to thank everyone who’s spent the season reading these recaps, and the folks who add great (and often hysterical) comments.  Special thanks for your support during my recent life-threatening (well, in my mind anyway) illness. Now on to the big announcement: I am thrilled to tell you that starting [...]

Tonight one of the Top 9 gets eliminated. And by the power of birthdays I will not be going to jail for anything I may or may not have said in this recap.

These kids aren’t facing death. They are facing public humiliation, and while it feels like death, that is nowhere CLOSE to actual dying.

Hey everyone! Fran here! Berry is here too, he just downed a gallon of milk, no one even dared him. He just did it. Maybe he’s having sympathy pregnancy hunger or it could be that he’s lacto-loading for this gripping episode of AR. BERRY, WIPE THAT MILK OUT OF YOUR BEARD, PHIL IS TALKING!! Phil: [...]

Tabs makes Princess Kim see the light.

Tabs gets Sir Francis Drake to grow a (tiny) pair.

Tabs turns around a holistic wellness center owned by Sir Francis Drake.

Ladies and Gentlemen, we are officially mid-calves deep in this season! Give yourselves a pat on the back! Unless you suffer from chronic back pain like Berry, then just blow a kiss into a mirror or something. Last week was a non-elimination round so on the plus side Bopper & Barfer have another chance to [...]

Someone goes home. Is it who you thought it was?

Tabs’ superpowers are bested by the evil that is Tanya.

Tabs tries her best to improve a dog day care/grooming business but sadly doesn’t succeed.

Fame whores

A beauty school gets turnaround, Tabs has a new beau, and curmudgeonly Mr. P shows his soft side. Sorta.

Tabs does her best, but H Design owner Brian is beyond help.

***We caught this show and couldn’t pass up the chance to give it the gasm treatment. Please welcome your newest recapper, BusRyder, with Swamp People! Welcome to the Swamp!!!! Hello Everyone!! I’m BusRyder and this is my very first recap EVER.  So please bear with me as I figure this thing out. I must admit [...]

The Amazing Race returns with a whole new cast of castholes. Fran and Berry here y’all! We are so happy to be back with Phil reporting on the front lines. A lot has changed since last season for us. The doctors said it was impossible! It’s a medical miracle! Fran (me) is pregnant! There is [...]

Everyone went to Vegas for absolutely no reason whatsoever.

There are fights. And a facial. A facial.

No ep this week! Cry into your chocolates.

Tabs turns a shop selling spoiled yogurt into a coffeehouse.

Face Off season 2 begins! Remember? That makeup artist show? Sigh.

  I wonder who’s bright idea it was to hold auditions in Aspen? It doesn’t make much sense when you think about it. Aspen is small. Aspen is expensive. Aspen is a destination town, not the hub of Colorado. Sounds perfect! I blame Randy. I blame Randy for everything To justify the Aspen location, we [...]

Tuesday, January 24th  Nothing stops The Blob! The Biggest Loser (NBC, 8 pm) The teams compete in a battering ram challenge to win rights to the gym. Battering ram? I AM a battering ram! All Star Dealers (Discovery, 8 pm) A treasure hunt through Dennis Rodman’s storage facility. Not it! The Rosie Show (OWN, 7 [...]

Thursday, Jan. 19 American Idol (8 pm) Stability is the keyword for this season as the judges’ panel remains the same for the second straight year, the first time the panel has been the same in consecutive seasons since the addition of the (short-lived) fourth judge following season seven. “We’re holding stable” seems like a [...]

Tabs works her magic on Ripples, a Long Beach gay bar. Head on over there, they’ve got water!

Monday, Jan. 9 The Bachelor (ABC, 8 pm) Twelve bachelorettes try out for a community theater production written by children. That’s totally meta, considering that the Bachelor’s story arcs are written for children. Antiques Roadshow (PBS, 8 pm) A 1960 first edition copy of “To Kill a Mockingbird”; collection of bronzes; rare 1924 Gibson F-5 [...]

Thursday, Jan. 5 What’s spellcheck ever done for me? Toddlers & Tiaras (TLC, 6 pm) Large prizes draw contestants to the America’s Trezured Dollz pageant in Nashville, Tenn. Candice? Are you sure you spelled the name of that pageant right? Project Runway All Stars (Lifetime, 9 pm) Guest judges include famed fashionista Miss Piggy and [...]

Wednesday, Jan. 4 Deep well of undirected anger. Hardball with Chris Matthews (MSNBC, 5 pm) Political analyst Chris Matthews talks about a wide range of issues and asks hard questions of politicians, pundits and other guests. Chris, ask Congress the question we all want answered: “WHAT THE @#!%! DO YOU FUCKWAFFLES THINK YOU’RE DOING??” The [...]

Everyone gathers to rehash Zach and Ashley (and Frank) about a trillion times, and my love for Sam grows even stronger.

The cast gather with Wendy Williams for a discussion of the season. Zygote maintains his Biggest Ass in Dallas title. Chore is vindicated.

We learn exciting and exclusive info about the cast. Or MTV takes an entire hour for meaningless drivel. It’s a tossup.