POSTS TAGGED: recap

Yay. Another episode of the Krapdasians. I cannot express to you how thrilled I am right now. But more about my traumas later, let’s start Keeping Up With The Kardashians!

Tonight on American Idol, we get yelled at. A lot.

Welcome to the Stars of Pennsylvania Pageant, located in Pittsburgh, for this week’s Toddlers & Tiaras. Not only are there enough trophies, ribbons and tiaras to go around for everyone attending, there may be extras from those contestants who couldn’t make it due it to Old Man Winter. He’s such a bastard! I don’t even [...]

Lots and lots of screaming in this second-to-last episode of Damages, plus some questions get answered, some loyalties are tested, and one all-purpose remote control joins Uncle Pete in that big living room couch cushion in the sky. At least Pete can change the channel now.

This week on I Love Money 2, payback and karma are both awfully bitchy. Hold onto your hats!

This week on Lost, Benry goes pyro, Sawyer attempts to be diplomatic, Sayid does what he does best, and Horace takes it to the next level.

“Just say, ‘Mom, Tommy didn’t come back from Mexico.’” “Why me?” “Because I’m always having to break the bad news. I’m like the family Grim Reaper.” “Okay, you know what? Someone – Mom – is going to blame us for this. I think you – the smooth-talking lawyer – should do it.” “Why?!” “Because -” [...]

“You want a piece of me?” So here we are back in Manhattan to see just which “celebrity” can scream the loudest and make the worst business decisions. Welcome to Celebrity Apprentice!

So. This past week I learned that I have been misspelling Chef Ramsay’s name for the past seven episodes. Shout out to jakeinla for the heads up! All I can say is Oops! Sorry Chef. I hope someday you will be able to forgive me. I said I was sorry for fuck’s sake. What else [...]

Dear Gasmi, This week we get to know a little bit more about Old Leather Face and even the Countess comes off looking good. And then a white light descended and I just knew that God meant for me to be famous and rich and did I say famous? I’ve officially gone to the dark [...]

It’s time for the latest installment of the least interested man ever to be the star of a dating show. VH1 has been running commercials all week highlighting Feisty’s drunkeness and how it could jeopardize her chances in the house. I’m hoping that the same nonchalant attitude that every single person on this show possesses [...]

Tonight on American Idol Results, Joss Stone almost blows Smokey and I lose my lunch. Can I still get breakfast at the mansion?

   Greetings Gasmii! We’re already on Hour 15 of this season! Can you believe it? We’re headed for the final showdown. This week, it’s all about infections. Larry gets a little of the “Bauer Believer” bug. Ethan gets terminal exposure to scandal! Olivia’s infectious bitchiness gets worse! And even Jack starts to display symptoms of [...]

Hello all you closet voguers out there (and you know you do when you’re driving and Madge comes on the radio with one of her bestest songs evah!) are you ready for me? I hope so, ‘cuz I’m on a huge high from the drag pageant that I was at this past weekend (more on [...]

Well Gasmii, here we are at Episode 4 of Little Miss Perfect and we’ve got a whole new ball game. I’ve always believed that the reason women put their children into beauty pageants is because they really want to be in the pageant themselves. This week, we can test that theory because this week it [...]

Tonight on American Idol, Motown survives, but just barely. Make it stop.

Day26 is still not recording because of contract negotiations, so they might as well go bowling. And by “bowling,” they really mean getting drunk and humping the ball machine. This machine dispenses balls. Big Butter’s balls, to be more specific.

Well peeplets, I am a sad panda tonight. This is the last episode. Le sigh. Lets see if I can perk up enough to do justice to Bad Girls Club!

Hey readers! I’m doing a quickie recap for last weeks so I can get this past Sunday’s episode up pronto! Let’s get to it! Last week – we lost quite possibly the dumbest player ever on the race, Amanda, and one of the hottest, Kris (Thanks Amanda – YOU SUCK.) We grieve but we must [...]

This is it, kids. Our engines are revving, we’re coming down the stretch and I can see Ru with the checkered flag in her hands. We’ve got our final three and as much as I wish things were a little different, one of them is Caca. The good news is that the judges make perfect [...]

I’ve been away. Get naked and let me make it up to you with the tale of last week’s Rock of Love Bus… This show used to be so classy!

This week on Keeping Up With The Kardashians, Kim shops too much, Kourt probably does something but who cares, Khloe gets asked to pose for Peta and Meltyface pisses me off. Let’s get right to it!

That’s right – No. 1 movie in the country, bitches. My days on cable are numbered. I’m flying out of this show on the glorious back of one Mr. Nick Cage.

As we open this episode of Ugly Betty, Matt is walking Betty home from the subway, which HELLO Richie Rich, don’t you have a town car that could drive you two to Queens? Matt tells Betty he has something pretty serious to say to her and he’s not sure how to put it. Is he [...]

This week on The Real World, there’s a lot of war stuff. And Chet gets involved with acid. Don’t try doing your own chemical peel. It never ends well.

This week on I Love Money 2, there’s more hooking up than ever! And not even a second of it is sexy.

On this week’s Lost, Sawyer lays a smackdown, Sun looks at some old photos, Benry holds the mustard, and the Dharma Initiative leaves us all wondering, “Nama-what?”

This week on Hell’s Kitchen, Ben sweats all over the place, PrettyGirl quits again, and Andrea is a bitch. Someone get this dude a towel immediately!

Dear Gamsi, I love food and I hate diets. Sadly, despite my best intentions, I’ve gained an impressive three pounds this week. So, for the present, I’m sucking up pears and champagne (shouts out to Kizarny) and seriously missing my gummi bears. But, like any good brainwashed bravolite, I’m all ready to find some inspiration [...]

Gasmii, I never get tired of Toddlers & Tiaras even though it’s sort of the same one each week. It’s like two parts cute kids with dimples, one part spoiled brat, and more than a pinch of crazy parent. Huge and sparkly, just like I like ‘em!

“Welcome to Trump Tower!” Hello beloved readers! I am honored and humbled to be recapping this season of Celebrity Apprentice! I know I’m coming a tad late to the game, so we are going to bounce right over episodes one and two and dive into episode three. The guys have already lost Andrew Dice Clay [...]

Tink starts off by telling us that tonight, one contestant will face the fire! Finally! They’re gonna just start cremating the eliminated contestants. I guess someone over at FOX is listening to my voicemails after all! That’s democracy! And THIS. Is American Idol Results!! Pitchy heathen!

Greetings and salutations fashionistas! Well, it’s been a crazy week for our poor Tyranna-Sore-Ass, what with the international news coverage of the riot/stampede that broke out amongst a mob of munchkins at auditions for Cycle 13 (a.k.a. The “Okay, I Guess Short Chicks Might Be Pretty, Too” Cycle) in New York City! I don’t want [...]

Just going by the episode title (“Here Kitty”), this week of House has potential. Whose kitty? Does it smell bad? Barf up hairballs? Scratch and bite if you rub it a certain way? SO NAUGHTY! We could speculate for at least a paragraph, but that’s just what FOX is expecting us to do, and besides, [...]

“We can fix it!” Greetings Gasmii! This week, the folks on 24 learn some valuable children’s television-style lessons such as the value of sharing, making new friends, telling the truth, and being fair! There’s also a lot of build-up toward our final showdown with the Big Baddies at Starkwood! Follow me as I recap it [...]

Woo hoo! Your man Ray J is back. A week without Ray J is like waiting a week for test results. You know that really important test that you retake several times because the results could mean the end of life as you know it. The test that makes you start thinking of all the [...]

Tonight, on the finale of The Shitty: Adam confronts Erin at work (regarding Allie); both Olivia and Whit are up for a great job opportunity in London; Olivia sucks throughout (what else could we expect); Whit seeks advice from a certain California lady; and the unthinkable happens: Whit totally grows a pair. Whit? Is this [...]

Wow! Hilda’s really sporting a beer gut, isn’t she? As we begin this week’s Ugly Betty starring perennial favorite Christine Baranski, the Suarez family is at home with Sports Guy Matt, now know as Rich Sports Guy Matt, feasting on breakfast. Do I show you sit ups or condoms? I’m not sure.

This week on Making the Band, Que says that Will is selfish and jealous and cannot see past his selfishness and jealousy because he’s much too selfish and jealous to realize how selfish and jealous he is. Got that? Me neither. On with the show! “Willie’s just a big mean meany!”

After a long hiatus, we are back with a new drama filled week on Grey’s Anatomy. As morning breaks, all the members and new members of the frat house prepare for another day of torturing interns, boning Doctors and experimental surgery. All except for one. McDreamy has set up shop on the downstairs couch, and [...]