POSTS TAGGED: recap

We are back with America’s favorite drag queens plus Mimi Imfurst.  I will be your recapper this season and I can’t even believe it!  I feel like I’ve won a pageant. Now, don’t you young’uns fret, I will not reveal losers and winners in the minicaps, so feel free to read on.  We have the [...]

Welcome back to the X Factor! It’s a shorter episode, and I’m a lot less nervous to recap than I was last week, so, YAY! Let’s dive right into the episode. We’re back at the Judges’ Homes, where the contestants are performing to earn a spot at the live shows. This hour is going to [...]

Hey there, Gasmii!  Welcome back to The Hottie McShirtless Hour Arrow!  Previously on Arrow:  billionaire playboy Oliver McQueen returns a changed man from being shipwrecked for five years, he has a Lisa Frank journal with a kill list from his father, his best friend may or may not know there’s something going on with Ollie, [...]

  What the hell was Jewel doing here?  At least it made a good razor commercial! When the show opened with the maid scrubbing out the blood from the foyer, I had to rack my brain trying to remember who had been murdered at the end of last week and how could I have forgotten it [...]

Well dolls, this is it.  This journey has taken us through nearly an entire year – literally, three seasons have changed since we started on this journey.  Can we even call it a RHONJ “Season” anymore?  But we’ve finally reached the end of the road. Welcome to the finale of all the finales…Real Housewives of [...]

Time for the Not Really Lost Footage episode of The Real Housewives of New York City!   We meet Aviva’s hairless leg, Carole’s mail guy, and Sonja’s afternoon delight. Lu and Pepe meet with people desperate enough for air time that they go along with the countess’ plans for a collection of…ummm….apparel and accessories for…ummm…a [...]

#firstworldproblems

Welcome back race fans. Fran and Berry and our new race fan Lil’ C here. Not sure if we can ever beat last week’s actual race to the finish, but we’ll give it a shot! So with Team Sporty out we have 8 teams left. We start where we ended in Indonesia. Which is where [...]

Or, more accurately: the challengers try to think, and quickly tank.

Hi, Gasmii!  We’re back with another episode of Abby’s Ultimate Dance Competition, so let’s dive right in! Previously on AUDC: dance mothers continue to be horrible garbage creatures, Elizabeth pulled out a sob story to distract from her less than stellar performance, and Tessa got the chunky ALM boot for fucking up her tap routine. [...]

Emily though the shower was at the Beaver Dam Well everyone, you should be very proud of yourselves. Poor little ex-Beaver Dam employee Fauxmanda is in a coma and it’s all your (our?) fault! Poor thing. Highly doubt they will get rid of her at this point though and will probably come out of the [...]

I found out that I didn’t know how to spell decathlon… so the likelihood that I’ll ever be in an academic decathlon are slim. Politically correct panel. We begin at a school that is holding an academic decathlon trial. One boy, Pierce Higgins, is clearly the smartest… he also appears to have a way-too-involved mother in the audience. [...]

We come back right where we left off with Kate in the stairwell freaking out to some Hannibal Lecter piano music.  The producers finally tell us that there’s no evidence to support Sabrina’s claims.  That’s nice.  Then why would you ask Kate the questions you asked her last week?  Oh, I guess that it wasn’t [...]

I think Jeff has a stalker

So, we have a total of 5 prisoners who are alive and living in the kitchen.  When they learn that Hershel has been bitten, their initial reaction is to shoot him, but my darling Daryl has them all in his crossbow sights.  While Maggie, Glenn, and Rick haul Hershel up on a food cart, T-Dogg [...]

Dexter cleans up house

The episode title is misleading. Just like my initial excitement for this episode.

I thought of making myself a beautiful wooden marionette. It must be wonderful, one that can dance, fence, and turn somersaults… Four insanely smart high school kids answer questions that I don’t even understand. One mother is clearly too invested. Nick and Juliette go to an awards dinner, at which Cpt. Renard is speaking.  The kids go out [...]

Dexter tries to show Deb the accuracies in his ways.

Hello and welcome to the third season of Walking Dead.  I will be your recapper this year!  I would like to begin by apologizing for two things.  A)  This is late because I had to get caught up on the show and then wound up having to drive to Austin and back in a matter [...]

Is everybody ready for the second episode of my new favourite show? Juliette is. She opens the epi by prancing around in shorty-shorts and a bustier last seen on Xina in the Lady Marmalade video. Tres trashy! Capping off the look is cowboy boots. Now, I grew up in Alberta so I know my cowboy [...]

Episode 3 of Season 21 y’all! Fran (with a side of Berry) here ready to rock this ep! Just close your eyes and listen to the theme song. Boy oh boy, after all of these years this song still gets our blood going! Don’t know if it makes us want to cry, throw up, make [...]

Hey gasmii! I’m RaeRae and I’m super, super super excited to be recapping Season 2 of The X Factor for you guys, starting with Episode 9. Now, I’m a broad who can’t carry a note for the life of me, and I quit alto sax in 8th grade at my music teacher’s behest, but that [...]

Speaking of DEADlines…

Touted by Andy Cohen as perhaps the biggest scandal in Real Housewives of New York City history, Lu’s face was hilarious when she realized he was talking about her ALLEGED night with the Johnny Deppelganger in St. Barth.  Ramona had Lu’s back and repeated “alleged” a couple of times.  Lu (she loves it when you [...]

Everyone needs to listen to mom more. Unless that mom is Cora.

In our second of two parts, Ben Mandelker (bsideblog), Ronnie Karam (TVgasm) and Matt Whitfield (Yahoo TV) make it through the third hour of Real Housewives of New Jersey’s screeching mess of a reunion and try to decide which is worse: a whore or a stripper. Then we go over to visit the Real Housewives [...]

Because “The Dark Knight” was already taken by the people who titled the actual episode.

Andy Cohen opens Part Two of The Real Housewives of New York City Reunion with what he views the most controversial topic of the season–when faux royalty met faux Johnny Depp.  It was all a misunderstanding according to Lu, and she’s still together with her big dummy.  Sexy SonJa brought the heat, according to Andy, [...]

Can we somehow find these people a place on the show? So formerly institutionalized Mom has been quietly running the local Motel No-tell all these years while the Graysons have been up to all kinds of mischief a stone’s throw away? Wonder how that worked out. Amnesia? Full on crazy? How amazing would it have been [...]

Pete is an agent of CHAOS

This episode is a trip into reality TV mindf*&^ery.  We begin with Jeremiah jumping all over the chance to spring the top secret envelope of DUI docs on Kate in front of Abe and Rebecca.  He loves that he can prove that Kate is a hypocrite.  When Rebecca asks Kate if you get arrested when [...]

No really, this is the last one.

Nick and Juliette see fireworks from their kitchen window and Nick tries to help her remember telling him some lame story about a song her uncle used to sign to her. She dramatically pauses and then claims that she, too, remembers telling him this story. She goes on to tell him that the last thing [...]

Holler, gasmii!  It’s my pleasure to recap a new trashy program from the CW, Arrow.  ­My initial attraction to this show was two-fold.  The CW is notorious for making ridiculous shows that seem to beg for snarkcapping, and the guys in this cast are really bringing the hotness.  Only really being into X-Men growing up, [...]

Dexter tries to show Deb how it’s done

Nick and Juliette see fireworks and he tries to help her remember. She remembers telling him that. She laughs. They kiss and hug. She says it’s all coming back to her. She says she remembers him telling her about his ancestors who could see things and that he could too. The keep kissing. It was a [...]

I heard Abby posed for this silhouette.  loljk Hey there, Gasmii!  Just when you thought you were safe in your homes from the monster that is Abby Lee Miller, she comes busting into your living rooms (I’m sure bathrooms as well).  I didn’t even know this shit existed until the Dance Moms finale.  So welcome [...]

The title of this episode is What is Really Happening?.  Unfortunately, this is a total misnomer as we are no closer to the truth of this series than we were last week. So, due to the scandals of this supposed reality show, I’ve done some research.  We can definitely explain away the language and behavior [...]

Hello all and welcome to my first full-length recap for the ‘gasm. I was lucky enough to be assigned Nashville. Or perhaps unlucky as this show is GREAT! It’s hard to snark and smirk at a show I am genuinely enjoying on a not-at-all ironic or postmodern level. I’ll do my best to be funny [...]