POSTS TAGGED: recap

Lucy acts as self-appointed mentor. Physician, heal thyself.

Are you ready for the dullest episode of the season? THAT’S THE SPIRIT! Listen: we have a lot of reasons to be down on the United States these days (people shoving fried chicken in their mouths to show how much they hate gays, a bumbling buffoon traveling around the world to represent us, the continued [...]

Amber starts a nanny war. Well, sort of. Skirmish, really.

Road trip!

A corny dessert challenge destroys another dream…

Last week on Teen Mom, Farrah met another victim guy, Amber was sprung from rehab, Cate pondered going to college, and Ryan and his family were angry about preschool. Because Farrah had such a great time on her horseback riding date, she takes Sophia for a ride on a horsey.  It’s really cute and I’m [...]

This week, we will find out if Jeffy made a huge mistake by going down the tubes or if we’ll be rid of Kevin and his terrible attempt at hiding his bald spot.  Mike thinks Jeff deserves to go home, because he was cocky enough to put himself into Limbo.  Andrea was basically telling us [...]

This episode is making me hungry.

Welcome back to the Real Housewives of New York.  This week, the pressure is on for Cool Cat Carole to finish her new book.  Unfortunately, no time for writing now, though, because she needs to start packing for Miami.  What does dress for Kobe hotdog casual mean, exactly?   Carole and Sonja leave New York [...]

The Housewives hit the road.

This show will get booted from CBS faster than HoHo did. Previously on Big Brother, a gay guy beat a lesbian at hockey, … Don’t move. …male pattern baldness beat a gay guy, … and a nerd beat…well, Ian didn’t beat anyone at anything. He did, however, go down on a bear. The show has [...]

Run until you barf or break your ankle!

Second chances are for losers….

Apple Pie here, subbing for Potty Mouth. Hope I can make PM proud! 16 Left, 2 more to go tonight … welcome to So You Think You Can Dance! Damn, Cat, you even make goth look good! Aw, fuck! They let Amelia have her way and gave the group a black and white Chaplin-esque (pre-recorded) [...]

Let’s dive right in, shall we? Previously on Snooki & JWoww: Snooki is pregnant; Snooki decided to invite the Jersey Shore roommates over for dinner and to announce her engagement and pregnancy; JMomm is doing a terrible job pretending that she is not insanely jealous about Snooki’s impending domestic life. I don’t care, I love [...]

I’m so sorry for the delay on this recap, my dear Gasmii.  I’m out of my meds (because I’m stupid and missed my appt) and going through withdrawal, so I feel like a giant bag of flaming shit. We start out this episode with Stephanie pointing out that the house now has more wiener than [...]

Lucy demonstrates why she’s unemployable. Score another win for Kristin!

Previously on Big Brother, the gay guy had There’s Something About Mary sperm bangs, a hot hairless Redneck got all violent with pork rinds, and white trash got dipped in cheese. Cheese n’ Crackers I love the eviction episodes for the same reason I love going home to Texas: I don’t feel quite as homely [...]

Well, it’s another week in Jersey and you know what that means – foreshadowing of the journey to Napa. Lots of it. If this RV trip isn’t the greatest road trip since The Cannonball Run, I will personally rent an RV of my own to ram through the DIY project that fairy Andy calls the [...]

Everyone blathers on. Some more than others.

Last week, the Great White Grin swam in from London with her shiver of sharks and celebrated Aviva’s fifth anniversary with a pinot-soaked chum fest courtesy of Sonja in the City.  In a season sorely lacking in drama, watching Pleather’s gnashing smile chasing Ramona around the room was like a gory ray of sunshine that [...]

We start off with Rima, Erika, Blondie and Christina rehashing the events of the night before. Erika tells us that she and the 3 afore mentioned skanks are WINNERS and that Mobama, Falen and Julie are PABs. Punk ass bitches. Erika asks Blondie if she’s gonna turn into a PAB and she says yes. Because [...]

A bunch of Yankees take a shot at downhome flavor.

DirecTV and Viacom have settled, so I get to have my Teen Mom back on my boob tube.  It’s just not the same watching these dipshits on a small, non-HD screen.  It just doesn’t capture the idiocy as well. Because Farrah and Ashley think Debra is the most horrible, abusive mother on the planet, Farrah [...]

The St. Thomas wildlife strikes back against their houseguests.

A Japanese tag-teamed battle fells another challenger.

Ramona is anxious to get the London low-down, so she invites everyone to get together–except Heather and LuAnn.  Ramona had her sights set on trashing Pleather, but when Carole is asked for the juicy parts, Princess Carole couldn’t get past the one-upping of the lowly Countess.  Sonja tossed another trash bag of the Countess into [...]

Put blood-fued on simmer, heat to a boil and then pour liberally on your enemy.

Previously on Big Brother: Dan showed off a large collection of Jesus-y shirts, Janelle wore a jacket made of our razor blades in case slimy ass Boogie tried to hug her, and Willie tried to lead a revolution against, well, he didn’t know, exactly. The important thing is that he called a meeting and yelled [...]

20% Dancer Decrease

We wish “happy trails” to another fallen contestant…

We examine alcohol’s destructive effect on society.

The end is nigh.

Hello lovers and welcome back to the life and times of the Real Housewives of New Jersey!  First of all –  love, kisses and thanks to the hilarious and sexy J. MO for taking such good care of you dolls while I was off on holiday.  I had the best time off by the way, [...]

Careful what you wish for.

Hey guys, it’s me, Danny! Let’s jump right into this bullshit! Julie Chen is here with us tonight! No matter how terribly slow the live shows are, you can always count on Julie’s eccentric wardrobe and robotic laughter to bring some joy into the hour. Sadly, Julie opted for a rather calm dress, only notable [...]

Someone stockpiles for Armageddon, and Kristin shows her true drunken colors.

From the mouths of idiots.

  Welcome back! To check out TheMiki’s recap of the first recap, click here. Previously on Big Brother, D List Celebrity Lookalike Edition: Richard Simmons finally hit his goal weight after all these years!! We met a chick Dick! Jessica Fletcher returned as a slimy douchebag who jerks off in a shack and goes on [...]

Finally, the answer we’ve all been waiting for… What makes Russell’s dick hard??