POSTS TAGGED: recap

TLC baits us with drama and fails to deliver yet again

It’s the return of the RuPaul show you forget is on!

Bastage is afraid of his mommy

The showdown we’ve all been waiting for!

White girls can’t dance. Neither can black transgendered boys.

The happiest, joyous-est, gotta have a double-wide to fit it all day has arrived–the finale of Don’t Be Tardy for the Wedding!  The clock hasn’t been ticking away fast enough, but now it’s down to the wire with only an hour and a half until the ceremony begins.  While Kim is holed up in her [...]

Anger Management.

Last week Gary went home. Boo. We liked Gary. Unfortunately the actual weak link of the team (starts with a L and rhymes with LIZ!) had immunity, so it was Ciao to our funny, happy guy. We begin in Florence where the teams find their newest clue. The teams shall remain the same. Neither Jenna [...]

Two recaps for the low, low price of one!

It’s the first episode of the final season of Teen Mom vanilla, y’all. I don’t know about you, but I’m very interested to see how these kids cope with actual reality once the MTV paychecks stop coming in. The season kicks off with Maci making a bigger deal out of preschool than necessary. Bentley needs [...]

Well, ladies and gentlemen, the finale opens with only one hour left until the wedding begins.  The bridal party and groomsmen are assembling to walk down the aisle ahead of Kim, while the caterers are preparing the food and the DJ is setting up.  The guests are arriving and it won’t be long before Kim [...]

Take another shot at marriage!

Welcome back to another episode of “Hell’s Kitchen,” Gasmii! Previously, the men were FINALLY able to finish a dinner service. The women nominated Barbie (of course) and Brianna for elimination. Despite this, Gordon decided that Roshni needed to face his wrath for her piss poor performance during dinner. However, it was Brianna that was ultimately [...]

Cruz reaps what he sows.

The Bataan Death March that was this series is finally over.

Nookie is sad he never learned any Italian Hello Platers! This week is all about Parmigiano-Reggiano, tortellini, and Bologna (the place, not the Oscar Meyer’s). The teams stay the same for this next leg, much to the chagrin of Jenna and Liz. In fact on the car trip to Modena, Jenna berates Liz so completely [...]

Finally, a finished service. Well, half-finished.

The final season of Teen Mom vanilla has kicked off.  I know you’re all dealing with depression and grief over such a loss, but please bear with me.  Nothing has changed in the lives of Farrah, Maci, Amber, and Catelynn.  Farrah is still an ungrateful, slack-jawed bitch. Mom, why don’t you just hand me the [...]

Night of the Living Dread.

Last week’s episode ended with the new ladies agreeing to “Say what they mean, but don’t say it mean.”  But can the promise last a week?  Heather and Aviva are enjoying a dinner double date with their husbands.  Heather brings up their place at the Berkshires, and Aviva doesn’t skip a beat, looking to mooch.  [...]

This week’s episode opens with Aviva and Heather meeting up for a dinner with their husbands.  Ramona was right about Heather–girlfriend can do some talking.  She kept going on and on despite her cute husband toasting to shutting the fuck up…Heather!  Things went from a little awkward to full-on “oh shit!” when Heather brought up [...]

We take a look back at the prior 7 eps, and Shparkle finally fires Andrew.

Tearing up Vegas Brown Style, a.k.a. taking all the fun out of Vegas

Back for more.

The Glee Project is back! But do we want it to be?

According to Kim, since it’s 11-11-11, the universe is aligning for the wedding of the century.  For everyone else, the universe is aligning for a huge pain in the ass.  They have one of the cutest babies in existence and she brings two beautiful daughters to the union, so may their marriage be successful and [...]

The wedding that Bravo built.

Welcome to the season premier of Million Dollar Listing LA.! The intro includes a montage of our three real estate agents talking about how the terrible economy hasn’t affected the high end housing market as much as it has everything else. In other words, “Fuck you, regular people!” Look at all of you “normies” living [...]

Past transgressions catch up to everyone. Except Jackie, of course.

Day one of the MasterChef auditions.

Andrew gets a couple of drunken smackdowns.

Finally!  One word sums it up.  It’s been a long eight weeks for Kim and her people preparing for the big day, but it’s been killer on us.  The wigs are looking about as matted and clumpy as I feel.  This morning’s momma and baby meeting opens with Kim holding K.J. and telling him that [...]

Alexis won’t be intervened.

Previously on the premier of “Hell’s Kitchen” the men and women split into two gender-based teams to be abused by prove their cooking skills to Chef Gordon Ramsay. Despite Chris telling viewers that it’s a fact that men can cook better than women (remember this), the women won the day by not screwing up quite as badly [...]

Love. Her. Ribollita! Ricotta (non)cheese! Bacci ball! Cat’s crazy backteased hair! You guessed it, Gasmii, we are in Italy! The reshuffled teams board the plane to Florence and are sent on the chase for the E.I. Zany stereotypical American tourist running around ensues.  American reality shows making the US of A proud for over a [...]

Last season’s reunion show was extremely caustic and catty.  The finger-pointing and screaming over each other were non-stop, making it nearly impossible to decipher what was being said.  It didn’t take a lip-reader or subtitles to understand the ladies could not continue down the path that they were on.  Alex, Jill, Cindy, and Kelly are [...]

Scallops are forever ruined in the season opener.

Reunited! And it feels so good.

Double the episodes, double the disappointment

With three new housewives replacing Alex, Jill, Kelly, and Cindy, the drama promises to be fresh and sparkly clean.  The premiere opens with LuAnn getting together for coffee with one of the new housewives, Aviva Drescher.  While discussing their lives, they discover that they both speak French fluently.  Get ready for subtitles this season as [...]