POSTS TAGGED: recap

I’m kind of a bitch! Wow, Gasmii, that was kind of an intense episode. At first I couldn’t decide if I liked Lesley* because she called Christi out and spoke her mind or if I thought she was just kind of an asshole. By the end of the hour I was leaning towards the latter. [...]

Tabs goes to Georgia to bring a salon up to date.

Gordon tries to make us care about his past exploits.

The Bachelor chooses, yet again, to take Ben and the ladies to another exotic location, Puerto Rico.  I like Ben.  I liked him last season and despite the continual insistence from commenters that Ben is not attractive, I find him charming.  However, ABC clearly thinks we have to jet around the world to make this [...]

Hey, it’s Alexander Skarsgard with a terrible haircut! Ok, it’s not, we only wish. Hey-howdy-hey, Gasmii! Did you tune in for Alcatraz last night? Or were you too busy watching The Bachelor (aka Floppy-Haired Simpleton Dates Whiny Bitches)? Trust me, guys – TiVo that shit and get your ass over to the island, cuz this [...]

Temptation is a beast…duh.

They’re on a mission from God.

A kinda disgusting reunion.

Face Off season 2 begins! Remember? That makeup artist show? Sigh.

Chummy teammates become bitter adversaries as the chefs are forced to cook to the death!

I have to assume that jumping into the water without any kind of surfactant would just make them wet and sticky. But I’ve never swum in the Dominican Republic. Maybe their water is special. Or maybe these people are just really, really slippery.

This week’s episode includes 2 bonus angst montages.

Everybody knows slavery produces the best abs.

Good afternoon, everyone. Just wanted to thank y’all for giving me such a warm welcome to the ‘Gasm. I’ve been having so much fun so far. Although I have had a couple of dreams about Jabby Lee and that can’t be a good thing. Anyway, we have a trashtastic episode this week, so let’s get [...]

I do not want your slut muffins, Bree Van de Kamp!

Friday, January 27 20/20 (ABC, 9 pm) When a woman tries to divorce her husband, TV producer Richard Shenkman, he reacts with a violent rampage that includes stalking, burning a house to the ground, and kidnapping his estranged wife at gunpoint. I think there’s still some love there. Does this ticket say “slap some raw [...]

The final Quick n’ Dirty of the season!

When Snow’s lost she can look and she will find James…..

Fat-ass pre-teens!

Jobless Grayson takes on Daddy Tom over some chicken-salad!

A diabolical conveyor belt and a visit from that scary-ass Charlize Theron in makeup!

  I wonder who’s bright idea it was to hold auditions in Aspen? It doesn’t make much sense when you think about it. Aspen is small. Aspen is expensive. Aspen is a destination town, not the hub of Colorado. Sounds perfect! I blame Randy. I blame Randy for everything To justify the Aspen location, we [...]

It’s Deliverance meets Law and Order SVU!

Brooding isn’t as sexy as monsters think.

Beyond Salon is turned around, and in the process two employees get the ole’ heave-ho.

Honey is surprisingly slippery.

Thursday, January 26 Do whu na-ow? 30 Rock (NBC, 8 pm) Tracy leads a protest defending idiots everywhere. Phaedra Parks immediately volunteers to mobilize her fellow idiot Atlantans. American Idol (Fox, 8 pm) Hopefuls audition for the judges in Galveston, Texas. Everything is bigger in Texas—especially the fail. The Finder (Fox, 9pm) A NASA scientist [...]

Ah, a face only a mother could love. Welcome to Alcatraz episode 3, Gasmii! As I mentioned in the minicap, this show just got a whole hell of a lot darker RILL fast…hope you’re all up for the challenge! As we know…back in 1963, 302 people vanished from the island prison of Alcatraz, never to [...]

I’ve lost that loving feeling.

Bring it on! Okay, so last night I went to see Joan Rivers and came home a little buzzed (drunk) on Cabernet and then watched Dance Moms. As a result, my notes are kind of a scrawled mess, so bear with me as I try to translate them. Previously, Crazy Candy Apples Cathy entered a [...]

***We’ve finally found you the perfect Biggest Loser recapper. Please welcome MollyMcDark to the gasm!  Yayyyy…what an awesome assignment…The Biggest Loser! This week the show continues their “No Excuses” theme by attacking the “I don’t have time to go to the Gym” excuse which has long been valued by pussies everywhere. Oh, wait…that would be [...]

This is what happens when pork gets pissed!

A mother and son tear each others’ throats out…in Greek!

Part One in my series, ‘Why My Children Aren’t Allowed to Act.’ Furrr REALZ – can you imagine letting some random actor hold a gun to your kid’s head?! I certainly can’t. Crazytown. Also, I do not have children. Howdy-hey, Gasmii! I hope that this minicap finds you happy, healthy, and still watching the new [...]

Pretty people problems.

American Idol finally made it to that hidden gem of America, Pittsburgh.  We get a close up of someone who thought he was trying out for Biggest Loser instead of American Idol over the strains of “Black and Yellow”.  Let’s see your best and worst, Pittsburgh.  You know what it is … Get in my [...]

The Bachelor on tour brings Ben and his ladies to Park City, Utah where Ben will take the girls on outdoorsy dates.  Because these are totally chicks who camp and clean their own fish.  Please, most of these bitches would define “outdoorsy” as not having a wi-fi connection and a blow dryer.  The first date [...]

In which Pauly has a happy birthday, and Mike does not.

 ****Please welcome SnoopK8 as your new Dance Moms recapper! She was just assigned, so the future episodes will be posted in a more timely fashion. Gettin’ it together round here! – Flip It’s on Hello Gasmii! Thank you so much for allowing me the opportunity to recap Dance Moms. It’s a dream come true. I [...]

He’s leaving, in a midnight cab to Staten Island