POSTS TAGGED: recap

Let the Clay Aiken-ing begin!

Wednesday, Jan. 4 Deep well of undirected anger. Hardball with Chris Matthews (MSNBC, 5 pm) Political analyst Chris Matthews talks about a wide range of issues and asks hard questions of politicians, pundits and other guests. Chris, ask Congress the question we all want answered: “WHAT THE @#!%! DO YOU FUCKWAFFLES THINK YOU’RE DOING??” The [...]

A new season is upon us!

Some video fun with the Housewives

The cast ditches Twitch and Failor for Hawaii and Ken gets some.

Tuesday, Jan. 2 Celebrity Wife Swap (ABC, 9 pm) Gayle Haggard, wife of former TV evangelist Ted Haggard, trades lives with Steffanie Sampson, who is engaged to actor Gary Busey and rejects organized religion. After experiencing Gary Busey lovin’, Gayle refuses to swap back. Rooint! Work It (ABC, 8:30 pm) When unemployed best friends Lee [...]

The Crown Beauties Beauty Pageant being hosted by Pricilla Presley’s hair

Monday, Jan. 2nd Hold on. Just let me get rid of this bimbo… The Bachelor (ABC, 8 pm) Ben Flajnik returns to the mansion for the season’s first cocktail party; a septuagenarian confesses her love for Ben; a bachelorette shows up at the mansion on a horse. Ben and Levi the horse have been spotted [...]

***This was turned in on time!! Unfortunately, the site has been a bitch. Don’t blame Crabby, blame the internet gods. – Flip Well, this episode was a little tamer than the crazy last week (and I’m guessing the mothers won’t be trying to report us to the Internet Division of Their Imagination) but still has [...]

Sat., Dec. 31 Strange Sex: The Year’s Best (TLC, 8 pm) The top-10 strangest sex stories impart the strangest, most-unusual instances of relationships and sexual practices. Freak babies, freak families, freak brides, freak sex. Go “impart” your freaks somewhere else, TLC. The Bourne Ultimatum (CBS, 8:30 pm) Jason Bourne continues his international quest to uncover [...]

The end!

Randy is dropping the dime on Chelsea, finally! He’s making her marinate in these choices. I wonder if he went and did some therapy ala Tony Soprano on the down low? If so, bra-vo, Randy.

Thursday, Dec. 29th Happy New Year, Charlie Brown (ABC, 8 pm) While other members of the Peanuts gang plan a holiday celebration, Charlie Brown struggles with “War and Peace”. I think there’s mad sexual tension between Charlie Brown and Lucy. Vampire Diaries (CW, 8 pm) Elena is left feeling conflicted after Rebekah opens up to [...]

Twitter takes over and then Patti LaBelle finds BigFoot!

Wednesday, Dec. 28th Dr. Phil (Own, 8 pm) A woman leaves her husband for another man and now lives in a tent; a woman learns her husband was living a secret life for almost a year. For the last 12 months, he was known at the TGI Friday’s as “Eduardo.” Modern Family (ABC, 9 pm) [...]

Just in time for Christmas!

Kim learns her friend is writing a book, and so she has to learn to read

Tuesday, Dec. 27 Willy Wonka and The Chocolate Factory (ABC Family, 6 pm) A poor boy and his grandfather win a tour through the marvelous factory of a wily confectioner. The good version. Willy Wonka and The Chocolate Factory (ABC Family, 6 pm) A poor boy and four spoiled children win a tour through the [...]

We end with Beetlejuice and The Omen…

Monday, Dec. 26 Rudolph’s Shiny New Year (ABC, 8 pm) Rudolph the reindeer comes to the rescue when an evil bird kidnaps the New Year baby. Arthur Rankin and Jules Bass occasionally sought inspiration in drugs. Sometimes you get Heat Miser. Sometimes, you get… this. You Deserve It (CBS, 9 pm) Contestants try to solve [...]

Jenelle et al have driven me to not caring. It finally happened. I’m so invested and have such expectations from Teen Mom2 that when I’m let down, I just want to stuff my emotions.

Saturday, Dec. 24 Rocky II (Versus, 5 pm) Underdog Philadelphia fighter Rocky Balboa gets another shot at heavyweight champ Apollo Creed. Sports Reporter: “Hey, Rock! Doya think ya got brain damage?” Rocky: “I don’t see any.” All the Best, All the Worst of 2011 (CNN, 7 pm) 2011 in politics, pop culture, the economy and [...]

Everyone gathers to rehash Zach and Ashley (and Frank) about a trillion times, and my love for Sam grows even stronger.

All your questions get answered.

Friday, Dec 23rd SpongeBob Squarepants (Nik, 7 pm) SpongeBob receives an invitation to take part in a competition on Karate Island. Sweep the leg, Spongebob. Earth 2050: The Future of Energy (Green Planet, 7 pm) In the year 2050, with a booming population in dire need of energy, how will we adapt? We won’t. Fossil [...]

The cast gather with Wendy Williams for a discussion of the season. Zygote maintains his Biggest Ass in Dallas title. Chore is vindicated.

The End is nigh.

Gitchy-gitchy ya-ya Tom-Tom!

Thursday, Dec. 22 The Situation Room with Wolf Blitzer (CNN, 4 pm) Traditional reporting and online resources update international news. “Online sources” = Wikileaks. Big Shrimpin’ (Discovery 7 pm) Barbara blocks in the Hannah at the dock; Miss Ashleigh gets a head start on fishing; Roundhead runs into trouble when a leaky bag shows negligence [...]

We learn exciting and exclusive info about the cast. Or MTV takes an entire hour for meaningless drivel. It’s a tossup.

I shudder through yet another insect-filled recap.

Wednesday, Dec 21 Erin Burnett Out Front (CNN, 7 pm) The former CNBC anchor heads her own hour-long general news program. I totally watch this for the news. A Home for the Holidays with Martina McBride (CBS 8 pm) Celebrities present inspirational stories of adoption; musical performers include Justin Bieber, Mary J. Blige, Gavin DeGraw [...]

The cast gathers for a warm, heartfelt hug-a-thon. Or not.

Time to get wasted on tequila and have a meltdown!

How much can I tell you?

The group participate in two charity events, and then everyone leaves.

A White People Party gone wrong.

Tuesday, Dec. 20 Ron White’s Celebrity Salute to the Troops (CMT, 7:45 pm) The comic salutes our servicemen and women. You gotta admire a man who can drink bourbon, take a drag on a Marlboro, and deliver a punchline all at the same time. Rock Stars (National Geographic Channel, 8 pm) “Rock Stars” follows a [...]

Baseball Wives are less self-aware than actual baseballs

Monday, Dec. 19 Who’s Still Standing (NBC, 8 pm) High-stakes game show that gives contestants a chance to win up to $1 million … or they may fall through a trap door. Are there sharks with lasers under the trap doors? Bubbling acid? Poison-smeared iron spikes? C’mon NBC, it’s trivia. You gotta give me something! [...]