POSTS TAGGED: recap

Last time, on The Celebrity Apprentice, LaToya Jackson made one of the two dumbest decisions of her life when she didn’t bring Omarosa back to the boardroom. Buying this nose was the other dumbest decision. In case anyone couldn’t figure this out, Gary’s feelings are hurt about being thrown under the bus AGAIN for being, [...]

Previously on The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, Brandi told everyone Ad’s babies were made out of playdo mixed with donkey sperm and carried by an illegal 13 year old K-mart checkout girl. And that’s fueled about 20 hours of TV. We open where we left off, at Lisa’s party/excuse for people to gift her [...]

Kenya and Phaedra go cheek to cheek.

This quote is from The Book of Doppelgangers… and from what I can gather, the book has nothing to do with the storyline in this week’s episode. A cool old car pulls up to a church. Inside the car, the driver seems to be having a headache. He walks into a group meeting where a [...]

A stutter and some tears = reality show Kryptonite. As challenging as it is to take an elderly gentleman dressed like the football team captain in a porno seriously, I appreciate Jimmy Iovine’s criticism of the judges’ lack of criticism. He thinks they go too easy on these people who couldn’t even hack it on [...]

The sheriff returns. I wish his shirt had stayed behind.

Don’t cry. There are other too-hot-and-young-for-you fish in the sea.   Sad single Ryan puts on a brave face and shows up for work. Must be hough. Er, I mean, tough. But before we get to see our Top 9, we must endure Carly Rae Jepson’s faux husky sex voice as she moans and groans about soda. Sorry, sexy only works [...]

Hitting the reset button

Why yes, I’m still batshit crazy. Why do you ask? Good morning, Gasmii. Hope you enjoyed another AWESOME two-hour episode. This week, the ladies went to Cincinnati (or “Cincinatti” if you are a Lifetime graphics editor) to face off against the Canton Nut Job and her Angry Band of Dance Dads. Nia is in the [...]

dcloud.com%2Ftracks%2F84062747″> Ben Mandelker (bsideblog.com), Ronnie Karam (TVgasm.com), and Matt Whitfield (Yahoo) were all back together this week on Watch What Crappens, and just in time for Faye Resnick’s latest irritating turn on “The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.”  The guys break it all down as well as every other detail of the episode (including a [...]

Greetings, Gasmii!  Thank you for all of your comments.  You’ve all given me a lot to think about, and I certainly need to visit Universal Studios Orlando now after reading about all the rides.  What I’m reading in the comments makes me realize that ALL of these celebrities have some positive trait that explains how [...]

Well, the grand, plot-altering highlight of this week is – of course – the full reveal of Eli, the con artist foster faux-bro (thanks for that, Nolan). Oh Eli, you tricky scamp, you! You made amazing strides in a short 43 minutes and you have your little pyromaniac sister on guard. The good news is [...]

Pretty sure their marriage will still be longer than Kim Kardashian’s.

Previously on The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, the Flaming Gaysian Muppet reappeared for a Bad Wig-Off with Ken,… Let’s just call this one a tie and mourn the idea of growing bald gracefully, shall we ladies? …Adrienne almost ran over Paul in her escape from the flames of a fire she feared would catch [...]

Did she really think he wouldn’t recognize her?  Bitch please… Revenge just looooves new characters, don’t it?  When in doubt throw a new character into the mix to shake things up.  Unfortunately this hasn’t always been successful (Helen Crowley, Kara the Sleepwalking Mom, RyBros).  However, foster brother Eli may prove to be a valuable addition. [...]

Weeping like the Seattle skies.

The Mental Defective League, in formation

“So the animals debated how they might drive the robbers out, and at last settled on an idea.” Some of these quotes are getting way to heady for me. I used to recognize them, at least vaguely… now I have to Google them and still don’t understand them. Still at the apothecary, Nick isn’t awake yet [...]

Two freaking hours!

No urban hangers!!!!! Ryan kicks off the show, accompanied by ear-splitting decibels of teen shrieks.  I feel like I’m at a Michael Jackson concert in Belarus in 1989. Except it’s really a Bon Jovi concert in 2013. Again, I’m completely out of touch with what the young folk are into (or “digging with a shovel”, as I imagine they like to [...]

A fresh spin on the tale of the Miller’s Daughter

Tom Cruise tugs on the joystick (not in a dirty way)

Phaedra’s in love with a stripper.

MAJOR MELTDOWN

 She’s late, she’s late, for a very important show nobody watches anymore.   Our Top 10 has had a week off to play with their snap bracelets or listen to rap music or do whatever it is teenagers do in their free time nowadays. I sure know what ol’ Cotton Mouth Arthur’s been up to [...]

And…..we’re back. This season is flying by. Ok we start off with Bluto confronting Paula about last nights events. At first Paula tries to keep control of the situation but it becomes clear pretty fast that Bluto has turned a corner and is standing up to her. Bluto tells her that unless she apologizes it [...]

Not the real trailer – but you guys know Ms.VanCamp is the new female lead in Captain America 2, right?  We knew her when… Much has been made of how REVENGE has gone off the rails this season – has lost the thread, forgotten the purpose, abandoned the raison d’etre, for cryin’ out loud! And [...]

So who besides me has missed this poor excuse of an actress? It’s been a while, so if you have forgotten where we are, please scan over some of the past few recaps. Basically, Juliette is a snore but Renard loves her. Hank is finally in on the secret. Rosalee is sitting vigil with her dying [...]

Hey Race Fans! Fran here! Back from the nondescript Midwest and ready to take the plunge into this big bad season of AR. Lil’ C and I returned last night to find Berry face down in a Pillsbury pie tin. Who recaps Hoarders? Because they can come over here for some hands on experience. I’ll [...]

Hi, all!  Welcome back to reality show purgatory.  Since Episode 1, I have found out why Latoya Jackson is doing this show (thanks, tvgasm on Facebook, or I would not have known).  I also have to give mad props to the stonily beautiful Ivanka, who was wise enough to take a page out of her mom’s [...]

Eye’m in misery

Mill Street Bistro conclusion.

I am still filling in for SnoopK8, but she will be back next week to tackle the two-hour special. I know I was slow in writing this, but my daughter and her boyfriend were home from college for the week, so I got to play Spring Break with them. This week Abby takes fashion tips [...]

Hey Gasmii! Last week was just awful, wasn’t it? If you follow this show, you just always know that when the designers have to make something for a real person, it isn’t going to be so great, but OH, THE HUMANITY! I mean… I’m not even going to bother briefly reviewing what happened, because I [...]

If anything’s askew, it’s Angie Miller’s hair. After the harrowing experience of having to hear songs by Fergie and Colton Dixon in the same week, our Top 10 are finally revealed.  Sick Human Being. With great skin. Is it just me, or does Ryan seem to really delight in the process of sending people home? [...]

The Dust Bowl

RUFIO! RUFIO!   We’re back in Vegas for the Guys Semi Final Round. Yes, this is a rather effeminate bunch, but that’s why I love them so. Those Phillip Phillips/Kris Allen/Lee DeWyze types can eat a fart, as far as I’m concerned. Here we go!  Elijah Liu sings “Stay” by Rihanna – Close your eyes, [...]

Mamma Mia, here we go again…..

***Please welcome your newest recapper to the fold to take over American Idol, TripleThick!! Since there are 500 hours of Idol a week until the top ten or whatever, we’ve asked TT to just give us her quick impressions of each singer! Full recaps will start with regular performance shows!    Ryan greets us at [...]

Dear TVGasm readers, As you may have noticed Fran and I have not been around recapping your favorite million dollar scramble sponsored by Ford Focus, The Amazing Race. Right now Fran is out of town because she had a death in the family. Some second cousin got his ding dong stuck in a leaf blower [...]