POSTS TAGGED: recap

How the world’s smartest man views possible human/alien relations

If Joy Behar had a drunk hookup with a Who from Whoville,
Miranda Kirby would be their love child.

Ms. Teen may have won the battle but she certainly fucked up the war.

Tonight, American Idol Gives Back! To poor people in Africa, who never really gave American Idol anything. So they’re not really giving back, they’re just giving. Actually no they’re not. You are. Or probably not cuz you’re a cheap little jerk. Actually, I don’t know WTF is going on tonight, so let’s just watch it [...]

Tonight on Jessica Simpson’s The Price of Beauty we land in Tokyo – a place I would LOVE to visit! Japan’s high price of beauty.

You really CAN find anything online.

Tonight’s all about inspiration cuz of starving kids in Africa or something. Hopefully after she watches this back on TV, Alicia Keys will be inspired to cut herself some bangs.

When we last left Betty, she was accepting a job offer in London while Willie was getting shot. Coincidence? Unfortunately, it was. We open this VERY LAST EVER IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD Ugly Betty at a funeral – Willie’s? No! Halston – Fey Sommers skanky old dog. Amanda begins to bury Halsted but [...]

We meet again for this week’s High Society with some unexpectedly fabulous news – there will be a season two! And it gets even better – they’re recasting! Consensus is that Tinsley needs some more “likable” friends. Meanwhile, Sexy Deborah Denise Trachtenberg is bucking for her own show, and feeling undoubtedly hurt and betrayed that [...]

Welcome to the most exciting episode of this season’s Models of the Runway! This episode proves that this show could actually be interesting; all they have to do is add the designers into the mix. Oh! I have an idea! Next season they should have all the models and designers living together! Think about how [...]

Tonight on Project Runway, it’s the Mila/Jaysian smackdown! Who will color block? Who will cry and wear giant scarves? Who will date a gay guy? And what the hell is going on with Tim Gunn’s balls? The word is “the”. Go!

We learn that sharks are actually gay dolphins!

Oh Gasmii, secrets are bad, bad things. Well except for surprise parties, there they are good; unless you don’t tell the guests, then they go back to being bad. Well that’s in real life, because on TV they are solid gold, just like nana’s teeth, which are going to be turned into groceries if the [...]

Hey everybody, guess what? This is my hundredth recap for TVGasm! I know, right? It’s hard to believe I’ve dedicated almost two years of my life to writing mini-novellas about hairstylists and designers and models and chefs and bisexual famewhores. Time flies when you’re being a big fat bitchkitty, I guess. Seriously, though, this is [...]

Tonight on American Idol: two people go home, Ham hams it up, and Brooke White is still terrible. Aw crazy white lady. I know you’re hungry. We are too.

This week on 90210, relationships crumble, friendships blossom and Silver took the girls out for a spin. Annie remains a carpenter’s dream. Speaking of… Have you guys seen the pics of Shenae in Dirrty Glam magazine?

Tonight on American Idol, Tink is a sloppy drunk, Katie tells off Skara, and Adam Hambert singlehandedly keeps the cosmetics industry afloat. If the AI prize was a Mary Kay convertible I might have tried harder to win.

With the season finale of Damages only a week, the pressure was definitely palpable and every character seemed to be feeling the heat. Tempers flared, and everyone started to really lose their cool … much to my sick, personal enjoyment! Ellen got chewed out by both Gates and Patty for her backstabbing. Zedeck and Joe [...]

Hey ‘Gasmii hair-hoppers! How are you all doing tonight? Still in shock over the Finale? Glad we never have to hear Camila Alves speak again? Curious (like WaffleBoy) what Matt and Janine spent their dollar on? Well, I know we had basically put this season of Shear Genius to bed, but there was no way [...]

Welcome back to Fly Girls, otherwise known as a half-hour infomercial for Virgin America.

Our beloved Ugly Betty is back at her old desk helping out Daniel since Amanda quit to be a stylist – AS IF a Features Editor (ASSOCIATE Features Editor) would ever do that. Backwards is not the way to go, Betty. They’re called temps, look into it. Is that a ring or is Betty’s absorbed [...]

Attack Olivia, get clubbed with a candlestick. Simple as that. Oh. It’s a stand-alone episode. That’s kind of disappointing. Not that Fringe hasn’t had some very good stand-alones, but the strength of this show lies in the cool overarching plot — William Bell and the parallel universe, and Walter’s fragmented memories of his past misdeeds. [...]

This week on High Society things are pretty dull. But this fellow gets the pleasure of officially not taking her crap and kicking Vile Jules Kirby out of his hotel. Ummm…I don’t think it’s the guy with the coke.

It’s about as thrilling as it sounds.

Hey y’all foodie fans! Remember how the last time we were all watching Top Chef it was Christmastime, and we were all super-depressed because our sweet and cuddly Kevin “DirtyBear” Gillespie didn’t win and that blade-nosed cocky assfuck Michael “Li’l Volt” Voltaggio did, and we all ate ourselves into a coma on pork ribs and [...]

Hey Gasmii, oh man, oh man, do we have a crap movie to talk about this time. We’ve got more then anyone has a right to ask for when it comes to crap. We’ve got a movie directed by the guy whose wikipedia page says he pretty much trashed Gina Davis’s movie career all by [...]

Hello everyone, and welcome back to Hair-Worldâ„¢ this one last time. A couple of weeks ago I found a pair of testicles hanging in my closet, put them on, and sent an email to Brig Van Osten to alert her to TVGasm.com, to explain my role here as Shear Genius Shit Talker, and the fact [...]

Tonight on Project Runway, Emilioth was gross, Mila was angry, and we were robbed of one of the best “Meet My Mom” sequences in PR history. Oh yeah. And Cynthia Rowley stopped by to show off her new permanently surprised look.

Tonight on American Idol Results, Skara gets an add on, Michael Jackson is ripped off, and Rihanna fires someone. So You Think You Can Tippy Toe

Tonight on Jessica Simpson’s The Price of Beauty there are no day spas! Apparently facials are not a popular pastime on the Ugandan plain. Just ask these guys.

Tom opens by telling us that last week Dancing With the Stars was the most watched show in America! Man, we’re a pathetic lot, aren’t we? Then we go LIIIIVE! and Brooke tells us that last week we made Dancing With the Stars the most…..uh, yeah, Tom already said that, Brooke. Apparently, even the writers [...]

This week on 90210, the writers seem to be pulling storylines out of their stinky asses. And for those of you into that sort of thing, there’s more girl on girl action. Still no tongue. I guess we know why Britney’s kiss got all the coverage.

Tonight on American Idol, kilts, dead elephants and some residuals for Yoko.

This week on High Society, Tinsley has a lot to take. There’s James Micheal Joseph Methcrack who’s trying to dress her in monkey hair for the opera, and Devorah Rose Trachtenberg who’s trying to stalk her, be her, ruin her and take credit for her hairdo all at the same time. I made you.

If you are a fan of watching soap operas, then you would most certainly have enjoyed this week’s episode of Damages. Although it was insultingly predictable at every turn, there was a sort of smug satisfaction at correctly guessing what was going to happen next. And boy, did a lot of crazy, soapy shenanigans go [...]

It’s the season finale! The end of the road! The last chapter! The final countdown! Previous, on the Real World: Pandrew’s desperate search to get laid landed him a girl who seems a bit out of his league. Mike volunteered with the HRC and consequently learned about his own gayness. Callie tried to overcome her [...]

I hope you all got your permission slips signed.

Everybody loves zeppelins! It’s 1985: Reagan is sworn in for a second term, Gorbachev becomes the leader of the Soviet Union, Back to the Future is the top-grossing movie in theaters, David Lee Roth leaves Van Halen, and at the U.S. Army Research Center in Manhattan, a slightly younger-looking Walter Bishop wears a slightly different [...]

The moment we’ve all been waiting for since we were born! The Tool Academy 3 Graduation! According to DirectTV “On graduation day, one Tool will walk away with $100,000.” Wait, after they graduate they are still tools? Then what’s the point? Shouldn’t it be “One tool walks away sad and poor while another evolves into [...]

When we last left the Ugly Betty, Betty got her braces off, Justin was way gay (finally and thank goodness), and everyone lived in a world without zinc. This episode, Bobby comes on too strong, Hilda’s a Bridezilla, and Justin continues to be way gay. Bobby walks into Casa de Mauve Bridesmaid Dresses and sneaks [...]