POSTS TAGGED: recap

What’s up, people? You know how Cameltoe always ends each episode this season with her silly little tagline, “Hair is impotent“? Well, we all know she’s really trying to say “important” but the letter R just isn’t her friend. Anyhow, on tonight’s episode of Shear Genius we’re going to be reminded once again that the [...]

Labor Day seems like a long way off at the moment but let’s relive last year’s with the NYC bitches, eh? Grab your old checkered tablecloth with the stains from queer Tony’s pitcher of purple hooters and throw down mom’s best chinette plates. Load them up with equally heaping helpings of BBQ pork and booze [...]

OK kids, there’s no time to dilly-dally. Let’s get this 90210 recap started! GO!

Hi Gasmi, Waffleboy here filling in for Flipit who is taking a much deserved vacation south of the border, that hopefully is featuring plenty of beach time, good food, fun, and maybe a telenovela recap or two. Anyway, you’re stuck with me for this recap, and if you keep making that face, it’s going to [...]

Nothing can compare to last week’s amazing episode of Damages, but this week’s installment was still a treat! Maybe it was the luck of the Irish, (St. Patrick’s Day is this week) but everyone seemed to come out a winner, especially the viewers, who got their pot of gold at the end of the rainbow [...]

Greetings, beloved readers! I’m so excited to be recapping a brand new show! No more fluff for me this time around, thank you very much. Today we embark on an existential journey of epic proportions together. A journey that will take us to the very depths of the human soul. For this purpose we need [...]

Sober House. Where people go when they like to do drugs, drink their damn brains into shapeless ice cream cakes and sex it up with anyone who asks, to learn how to talk like Mack, be the bore at parties and say no to their fifth blow job of the night. Never again will they [...]

We open this week’s Ugly Betty with Hilda, Justin, and Betty all brushing their teeth together because God forbid they should wait 90 seconds for someone to finish. And where does Hilda need to be that she couldn’t wait longer? Betty is wearing an unfortunate purple sequined beret (seriously?) that luckily both Justin and Hilda [...]

Welcome to High Society, where a Park Avenue princess gives it all up for every Z-lister’s dream, a reality show on the CW. And who doesn’t love a good downward spiral? Doing this reality show is the equivalent of hurling yourself off that bridge behind you, but hey, live and let live.

Celebrity apprentice, now in weaselvision! This week, the motley assortment of tools break into groups, name themselves, have a baby that is a restaurant and one team loses. Can you guess which? Doesn’t matter- you’ll see a lot of ex-mayor Blago acting like a dipshit and Cyndi Lauper forgetting that she’s on TV.

Today on Tool Academy: fake weddings and fake wedding dresses, grocery store antics and the dreaded………. lookin’ like a tool with yo tomato on the ground Roll out the sh*t stained aisle runner, let’s get fake tool married!

Tonight on Desperate Housewives: Gabby and Angie head on over to a studio lot in Los Angeles. I’m sorry? What’s that? They’re supposed to be in New York City? Yeah, no one’s gonna buy that, dumbass. While they’re on the Universal lot — fine, FINE: “New York City,” they run into Heidi Klum and Paulina [...]

It’s back to back today! A Tool Academy Double Feature. There was no new Tool Academy last week, maybe because there can only be one “Academy” show on in a day or people’s DVR’s go crazy. Although I would like to see someone who thought they were taping the Oscars and got Tool Academy. “Hmmm..that [...]

Well Gasmii, it appears we are heading into the home stretch of this season. Try to contain your excitement. And by “excitement,” I mean “sighs of relief.” Previously: Cliche fulfilled her dream of singing one of her emo songs in front of a crowd bigger than the one at open-mic night. After that, though, MTV [...]

Well my dearies, it’s time to say goodbye to the skanks of summer. Well at least the ones on Bad Girls Club. Let’s jump right in and see if anything good happens before the reunion show! Too bad the bang didn’t involve a gun.

The news on American Idol was pretty shocking this week. Shocking because I can’t believe any of us actually cared! BUT WE DID DAMMIT! There’s lots of angry tears and a distraught homeless woman waiting for us, so let’s jump in! Does anyone have a map? Cuz my ass is lost.

Tonight on Project Runway, all of Earth’s elements are polluted. So recycle, or something. Some of these designs are so bad they’ll put hair on your chest.

Hello again hairgomaniacs! I know that I have been bitching a lot about how this show has taken a steep swirl into the toilet because of the crappy hosting (and speaking) abilities of Cameltoe, and that none of the guest judges have been remotely famous (or interesting) to anyone outside of the hair industry, and [...]

Remember 2009, the last time anyone cared about new episodes of 90210? JK, Gasmii. No one ever cared about new episodes of 90210. Ah, what the hell, I got 2 afternoons to kill. Let’s re-visit the Hills of Beverly. Weekdays on SOAPnet!

This week’s Kell on Earth gives us more empowerment in the form of being alternatively bitchy, overworked and overwhelmed. And under-appreciated. Also, Kelly markets her book a lot and somebody actually cries outside! I don’t care what country you’re in. This shirt is no ok.

In what was arguably the best episode of the season, Damages put the Tobin case on the backburner this week, and got back to doing what it does best – reveling in the dark, twisted relationship between Ellen Parsons and her mentor-cum-rival, Patty Hewes. The formidable foes spent the majority of the episode in a [...]

Happy Post-Oscars, everyone! Could you all believe how bad the hair was at this year’s show? I don’t know if it was the rain, or if Sarah Jessica Parker was trying to look all freshly-fucked on purpose to combat those nasty rumors about her and Matthew Broderick’s marriage being on the rocks, but Tabatha would [...]

This week on Fantasia For Real: Something exciting kind of actually happens! We finally meet the waste of DNA that is responsible for siring the Barrino clan! And for giving Fanny the ammunition to write this obvious best seller: Except for when you’re plucked from obscurity, given a record deal and fame and fortune, even [...]

Tonight’s America’s Best Dance Crew is all about Lady GagMe. In case you haven’t yet guessed, GagMe makes me want to puke. Going into this challenge I was sure I’d be ready to stick ice picks in my ears before we were even halfway through. But I have to admit, the dancing distracted me from [...]

This week on Lost, Sayid goes on a killing spree in not just one but TWO dimensions, Kate and Claire are reunited and it should technically feel so good but doesn’t at all, and Smokey gathers his army.

Hi Gasmi, you know I think it’s time to pay tribute to the unsung heroes of crap cinema, the screenwriters. Now there have been some screenwriters out there who’ve ginned out some pretty tasty crap over the years, but there is one man who stands above all others in getting bad ideas up on the [...]

Tonight on Project Runway, PeeWee Herman comes up with a new character, Emilioth pronounces a bunch of stuff wrong, and a giant bites off Jaysian’s head.

Just one, Jake. This isn’t Big Love. Tonight is Big Decision night on The Bachelor! We’re still in St. Lucia and Jake is taking this opportunity to walk along the beach tossing pebbles into the water and pondering on how he’s fallen so in love with two completely different women.

Tonight on American Idol, Skara says things that I knida agree with two times, most of the girls blow chunks, and OrganiJoplin lives!! It’s nights like this you wonder how this girl didn’t get on the show.

***We know it’s a bit late in the season, but we love our Damages and finally found the recapper to take on this beast! Please welcome our newest hero, SlifeGoesOn!! This week on Damages: Patty is warned by Judge Riley (and by extension, disgruntled viewers at home) to step up her game – and boy [...]

Hello Gasmi! We are back after last weeks cheesy clip show. Did you guys watch? Let’s go see what’s happening on Bad Girls Club! It’s the return of Midget! And whatsherface.

Tonight on American Idol, there is a lot of sitting on stools. The favorites fall hard, and the weaker contestants rise to the top. And lots of guys do pushups. Yes, Skara. WE CAN HEAR YOU.

Previously on The Real World: Douche made our ears bleed and cheated on his girlfriend. Pandrew was continuously unable to get past spooning. Ebony and Ivory just couldn’t seem to live in harmony. This week, MTV would like to teach us about morals: … can get you laid even if you’re wearing a panda hat. [...]

On tonight’s America’s Best Dance Crew, we get the Music Video Challenge. In seasons past this has been all about the crews bringing the flavor (and some moves) from their assigned video and combining it with their own style. This year, they’ve decided to show the “signature dance sequence” on a video screen behind the [...]

Jordan tells us this week’s episode is about modesty and insecurities. Guess which one the Tools have never heard of? Also, there will be long lost secrets, like Dopey Tool’s hatred for easels. It all leads to a Tool Academy meltdown and you can tell it’s for real because there are camera men and lights [...]

Simpsons did it, Russell.

Tonight, America makes some harebrained decisions and Kris comes back to remind us that he wasn’t second place on American Idol. This….is American Idol Results!!!!! Not lookin’ good for Aloha.

Oh, Gasmii, we have much to discuss. I am going to write up a quick recap of last week’s episode that, due to unforseen circumstances, is much later than it should be. (Unforseen circumstances = me getting in a car accident and being okay physically, thankfully, but if any of you have dealt with this [...]

This week on Fantasia For Real: Fanny is attacked by raccoons! The Weenster acts like a baffoon! And Zion gets trapped in a balloon! (Not really, but it rhymed.) Sorry, dude, even implicating your kid in a nationally televised hoax is NOT enough to help you get a hit album.

Hello again friends! You know, every time I go to my local salon these days I always ask the stylist whose chair I land in if they watch reality TV, and in particular if they are fans of Shear Genius. If they clutch their chest, gasp and start in on how fucked up last night’s [...]