POSTS TAGGED: ryan seacrest

This is the Titanic. And THIS! Is AMERICAN IDOL!!

I was seriously hoping this would be the week that Simon would rip off his shirt, climb up on stage, makeout with Gaycrest, then cover his hairy moobs with baby oil and work a pole to the tune of “Pour Some Sugar On Me.”  To my dismay, this did not occur.  Want to find out [...]

Hello again everybody! My name is J-Mo, and I’ve just breezed in for a few minutes to chat with you all and make a confession. Like many Americans, I made sure to sit down and pay attention to the President’s State Of The Union Address last night. In fact, I took copious notes on it. [...]

Hi, Gasmii! It’s my turn to take a stab at Idol and it couldn’t have happened on a better day! The camera pans The Rose Bowl in beautiful Pasedena and it is actually sunny in Cleveland too! And I had so much fun watching this episode! Holy crap! I should probably write this down on [...]

Disclaimer: As far as I know, no whores were harmed in the filming of these auditions. But with a word play like that, how could I resist? What’s up, lovies???!!! I’m fresh off a round of White Russians (“Oh, the usual. I bowl. Drive around. The occasional acid flashback.”) and am ready to do this [...]

Welcome everyone! It’s me, J-Mo, taking a short break from the slutty skanky buysexual Ikki Twins over on MTV to bring you my take on one of the most astonishing television shows of the millenium… the FOX juggernaut that is… American Idol… …where the slutty skanks are apparently taking over as well… Yes, it is [...]

Tonight we get three times the magic! Three times the excitement! Three times the thrills! As any mathematician can tell you, three times zero is zero. Call PETA and arrange a truck to the glue factory, cuz this horse is just about beaten dead. THIS. Is American Idol! Tell us a story, Paw!