POSTS TAGGED: sarcastic

One of these four teams is about to be the winner of AR Season 22 and get one million smackeroos! And then Berry and I will have to quietly wait until season 23 starts so we can double our efforts name dropping the Ford Focus or Fusion so we are finally given one! But that’s [...]

Good day fellow race fans! Fran & Big B comin’ attcha with this weeks recap! Who do we got left? Slapshot (Bates & Anthony) CMT (Caroline & Jennifer) Internet (Joey & Meghan) Mullet (Chuck & Wynona) Jammer Moms (Mona & Beth) Psycho (Max & Katie) What are we doing this leg? Hanging with Phil at [...]

Weeping like the Seattle skies.

Mill Street Bistro conclusion.

Dear TVGasm readers, As you may have noticed Fran and I have not been around recapping your favorite million dollar scramble sponsored by Ford Focus, The Amazing Race. Right now Fran is out of town because she had a death in the family. Some second cousin got his ding dong stuck in a leaf blower [...]

Gordon’s yelling face gets a workout!

In which we are schooled on complex world of restaurant management.

Hey Gasmi.  How many of you out there think that Nashville is now going to add a Mindy McCready –based character, now that she is (sadly) back in the news.  At least for one or two cycles.  Until some other celebrity fucks up.  If anyone out there is wondering why we even care about this, [...]

ood food, better décor, and family harmony. Is there anything Gordon can’t do?

Gordon delivers a wake-up call to Beaver, PA!

Greetings to you, oh faithful Gasmii! I’m back from my hiatus and so is our man Gordon Ramsay. He’s in a Boston burb with Tom, a restaurant owner who bought the Olde Hitching Post restaurant for his daughter, Andrea. His dream is to hand it over to her and secure her future, which would be [...]

Yes, dearest gasmii, I am a terrible person. It’s true, just look up my CSIS file (I’m a national disgrace). But I’m also a working mom (like there is any other kind?) so my free time is limited to bathroom breaks and I don’t quite get wifi in the can. Luck has struck in the [...]

***SourCake brings us your November comments! Ah, November, I barely remember you at all. My daughter turned one, I had to go back to work after a blissful year of SAHMing and I didn’t get to spend nearly as much time online as I was accustomed to (see above re: stay-at-home-mom). Luckily, in pulling together this [...]

After the Prevouslies, we open with Rayna and Liam strutting backstage. He’s pretty handsy. I like it. Liam has really grown on me over the past two episodes. Are they writing him as an alcoholic or is it my imagination? Oh those nutty creative types…always willing to wreck their liver for their art! Teddy walks [...]

Hi AR fans! Berry here! Fran and Lil C’ are out of town, so it’s boxers only in the Franberry household this weekend! Now if someone could just come help me out of this pile of pizza boxes so I can make it to the bathroom. No? Ah well, at least I can reach the [...]

We open with Rayna and Liam McGuiness (Or Shanty McGaelic, as I reflexively re-named him) listening to some new tracks. Captain Bringdown (Bucky) comes in with the news that record exec Marshall is playing hardball. He not happy, so he’s planning to release a Rayna Greatest Hits record. Rayna is frustrated and rather ticked. Rayna [...]

Doesn’t it feel like this show has been yapping at our heels like an irritating dog for months?  Ugh, if I have to see Lohan’s bloated face smirking at me one more time, I may have to get mean. When I first started thinking about how to approach this recap, I thought a lot about [...]

Heyhey Gasmites! Were you like me and missed Nashville last week? Here’s hoping this week makes up for last week’s Nashville’s bereftitude. Yes, I am aware that is not really a word. SourCake has all that fancy schoolin’ and she still thinks she can just make up words… Juliette in her amazing condo with that dumb [...]

Before we get to the recap, Berry’s brother, I’m flattered by your posts but it’s making our end of the day family baths really stressful. If you’re going to keep posting do it under our secret pet nickname…you know what it is! And now, the thrilling conclusion….wait no, it’s not the conclusion. It’s just the [...]

OK, folks, I’ma level with y’all. My heart just isn’t really into this recap. It was my darling baby’s birthday this weekend. So…up until now, my time has been pretty jam-packed with real-life stuff. Also, because I stuffed myself sick last night and am suffering the worst food hangover of my life, I can barely [...]

Hi Racefans! Boy oh boy, this season is flying by! Berry’s favorite team Tall & Tiny are out so we are not sure who we are rooting for anymore. This week on AR, six teams remain! Who will be eliminated next? Friday Night Lights (FNL)- Trey and Lexi Choke Out- Abbie and Ryan Mama Mia- [...]

We open with Juliette being queen bee of the studio. She’s force-marching her band thru take after take of a song they already have nailed. The consensus between Deacon, the publicist (damn, I really need to find out her name if she’s going to be a recurring character!) and Goodman is that Juliette is avoiding [...]

Fran with Berry here ready to ruffle your international feathers with this weeks AR recap. If you remember last week the fabulous Goat Boys came in last, but it was a non-elimination round so they are still in this thing. Although it almost seemed like they would have preferred to be eliminated. Crouching in a [...]

Holla, guys and gals!  I’m not quite in the pisser of a mood I was in earlier in the week (thanks cold meds!) but luckily for y’all, my default setting is angry bitch. We open on Rayna and Deacon rolling around in the sheets engaged in filthy, extramarital shenanigans. My first thought – Is this [...]

Hey Gasmii! This very well could be the last piece of correspondence I exchange with you before Hurricane Sandy pillages Brooklyn and makes off with my fingers! Let’s dive into the recap before I die! The X Factor is back, and finally, people, we’re finding out which 16 will make the live show stage of [...]

We open with sweeping views of Nashville while Juliette’s terrible (but now stuck in my head) song Telescopeplays . Juliette’s preening before a camera as she goes about her business being a mega-super-star and idol to tweenage girls everywhere. She gets a dual dose of bad news: Deacon has once again refused to tour with [...]

“Hi! Hope I’m not too late to make you feel like shit about yourself!” Holy sweet moly, gasmi. What a great show tonight! I was riveted. And I’m totally digging each character’s development. All the choices they made seemed authentic (minus one GLARING one that I’ll get into later). Lovelovelove it! So there was a [...]

Welcome back race fans. Fran and Berry and our new race fan Lil’ C here. Not sure if we can ever beat last week’s actual race to the finish, but we’ll give it a shot! So with Team Sporty out we have 8 teams left. We start where we ended in Indonesia. Which is where [...]

Is everybody ready for the second episode of my new favourite show? Juliette is. She opens the epi by prancing around in shorty-shorts and a bustier last seen on Xina in the Lady Marmalade video. Tres trashy! Capping off the look is cowboy boots. Now, I grew up in Alberta so I know my cowboy [...]

Hello all and welcome to my first full-length recap for the ‘gasm. I was lucky enough to be assigned Nashville. Or perhaps unlucky as this show is GREAT! It’s hard to snark and smirk at a show I am genuinely enjoying on a not-at-all ironic or postmodern level. I’ll do my best to be funny [...]

Welcome peeps! It’s season 21 and we’re back and we brought a friend! Fran and Berry here with the brand new tiny edition to our family. And it’s a Fran! We call her Lil’ Miss C! She’s six weeks old, but she’s already poopin’ like her old man! Anyway, we put her in her swing [...]

Tonight God comes out to cast judgement.

Imagine if we actually got to watch singers for all that time. That would just be weird. To watch singers. On a singing show.

Off to San Francisco where their auditions start of with another montage of suck.

A winner is chosen, and it is good.

Finale!

Becky, DareDevil, and Josh square off in the semi-final.

A double-shot of hotel grossness. Blacklight pun intended.

The fantastic final four compete to be in the top 3.

The all too soon finale.