POSTS TAGGED: sarcastic

Sister Wives shows us you can never go home again, and you can’t un-see truck nuts once they’re burned in your brain

Tearing up Vegas Brown Style, a.k.a. taking all the fun out of Vegas

Day two of the audition rounds (goes about as expected)…

Past transgressions catch up to everyone. Except Jackie, of course.

Scallops are forever ruined in the season opener.

The only thing more painful than watching their day to day life is watching them sit on a couch and talk.

It’s his birthday and he’ll whine if he wants to!

Something smells fishy… The jokes write themselves, folks!    Song starts at 1:20… Wow, I just used a reference to a Sondheim song for my recap of a cooking show on Bravo. Doesn’t get much gayer than that, kids. Sorry for the delay, you guys, but I made it before show day!  Hope you guys [...]

So here we are.  The finale.  This has been a season of ups and downs. Mostly downs as this was the season of the fairly blase.  But no need to wax poetic as I am sure Idol will do that for me since we have two hours to kill. Let’s do this… To start of [...]

Everyone’s secrets come flying out.

FYI, “THIRD” and “LAST” are not always the same thing.

This is…finally the finale. Not that I haven’t enjoyed this season but all I want, once a competition begins, is to know who the winner is.

‘Twas a night of Killer Chaînés and Sob Stories. Also, the Samba makes you gay. Last week we sent home two losers, but this week there will only be one. We gotta stretch this out, you guys! WOAH! Well, maybe not! There’s no opening number! We get right to it.  I gotta say this show [...]

Not getting any easier.

Jackie gets served!

And we’re back….for part two of the season twenty finale. At the end of the first hour Team Second Chance (Ralph and Vanessa) was Philiminated. Boo hoo. Moving on! Who’s IN? WHo has a chance to win a million dollars: Team Blowup (Dave and Rachel) Team Boy Guns (Art and JJ) Team Reality (Rachel and [...]

This recap isn’t The Avengers but check it out anyway. Get ready for a week of tense rehearsals, not-so-tense performances, and a DOUBLE ELIMINATION. They’re really ratcheting up the drama! RATINGS! Starting tonight I’ll be taking over both episodes each week as we’ve lost CannedGinger! Boo! Everyone wish her well. And starting with this recap [...]

The air gets cleared. Not that it helps.

SO I have found that there is a slight problem with doing my recaps so quickly. Sometimes the places where I get my episode pics are not as fast as I am. Rather than be patient and wait I am going to type each song into Google and get my pictures for this episode from there.

I feel like I should be walking through a mall and this is what is going on on that weird stage they set up by a bookstore.

Wow. Up is down and down is up. Contestants that have consistently given the suck turned it around tonight and, dare I say, the good contestants bit the green weenie.

Quitting rehab: always a good idea!

The judges come onstage and for the first time all season I have nothing mean to say about JLo’s outfit. It looks perfect for playing Bingo at the Seniors Centre.

This is…me back in front of my computer writing about American Idol. So all five of you might have noticed (might) that I have been MIA for the last two weeks.  I had something come up that couldn’t be helped and since no one likes AI I had no sub.  SORRY! I did, however, keep [...]

Buenas Noches, Gasmii! Bienvenidos a Latin Night! I hope you enjoy looking at dudes toned asses in white pants, because that should really be the new name for Latin Night. The DWTS band kicks us off with a version of Santana’s “Evil Ways” with– who else? Carlos Santana! He’s there to shill his new album, [...]

The long-awaited season finale!

Tonight one of the Top 9 gets eliminated. And by the power of birthdays I will not be going to jail for anything I may or may not have said in this recap.

These kids aren’t facing death. They are facing public humiliation, and while it feels like death, that is nowhere CLOSE to actual dying.

Hey everyone! Fran here! Berry is here too, he just downed a gallon of milk, no one even dared him. He just did it. Maybe he’s having sympathy pregnancy hunger or it could be that he’s lacto-loading for this gripping episode of AR. BERRY, WIPE THAT MILK OUT OF YOUR BEARD, PHIL IS TALKING!! Phil: [...]

Ladies and Gentlemen, we are officially mid-calves deep in this season! Give yourselves a pat on the back! Unless you suffer from chronic back pain like Berry, then just blow a kiss into a mirror or something. Last week was a non-elimination round so on the plus side Bopper & Barfer have another chance to [...]

Someone goes home. Is it who you thought it was?

    Ringer – You’re Way Too Pretty To Go To Jail Paris – Siobhan is in the hotel room – she’s rubbing her tum-tum, while wearing ANOTHER black and white mime outfit. Is ANYONE else seeing this???  ANYONE??? And she’s got a side pony, a bolo tie, and a SHEER. Duh! Typical knocked up, [...]

Is there a quick fix for crazy?

  Hello Ringii of the TVGasm – I owe you an apology for the loss of last week’s episode. I was traveling and I couldn’t get the time to cover the brilliance that was “It’s Easy To Cry, When There’s This Much Cash Involved” in the way it deserved. Or…? Anyway thank you for your [...]

Sniveling won’t fix a thing.

There are fights. And a facial. A facial.

Gordon Ramsay: Marriage Counselor

I had a good feeling about this episode going in. SMG appeared on both Watch What Happens Live and Live With Kelly to promote the show, so I was pretty sure that it would be an improvement over last week’s nonstarter. Thank God I was right. The show opens with Bridg strolling through the lobby [...]

Gordon sorts out some issues in suburban Atlanta (again).

Gordon tries to make us care about his past exploits.