POSTS TAGGED: simon

American Idol

This week on American Idol, Paula and I were on the exact same page. I woke up for this?


American Idol

John Lennon chokes on hacks. Again. I’ve been seriously deliriously sleep-deprived this week, because I thought Mariah Carey was scheduled to guest judge this week, or at least perform “Touch My Body” while Kenneth the Page hula-hooped and twirled flaming giant turkey legs around her. Alas, it was all a croissant-fueled hallucination. Join me, mon [...]


American Idol

Tink descends from the sky into the now massive studio and gives us a wink. Tonight, there will be a new set! New lights! Platforms and lifts and globes and screens and mosh pits!!! One question. Would it have killed you to add a pitch pipe into your budget? Welcome to the finals! This! Is [...]