POSTS TAGGED: spoilers

Ian: “You know that sign at the end of a show that no animals were harmed making this production? They can’t do that – the fish died.” Oh Danielle, I understand! It’s almost over, only one more day and then what will we do? WHAT WILL WE DO? I have spent just as many days [...]

Shane: “I don’t want my fate in someone else’s hands.” Finally, over an hour after the Big Brother show ended on the East Coast, the live feeds came on and the 1st of the final HOH competition had already started. For the first time in 13 seasons, it did NOT start at the end of [...]

Danielle: “I’m just making sure I don’t look like a hootch.” Sometimes things get overlooked when you are in a hurry! When Big Brother tells you that you have one hour to get ready and you are Danielle … well she has to get her make-up on!!! She asks Jenn to remind her to put [...]

Chef Joe about Dan: “HE’S  GOT ME THINKING HE’S EVIL. HE HIDES BEHIND THE BIBLE – I HATE PEOPLE WHO DO THAT!” Dan the Man is working the crowd again this week in the Big Brother house. The only bad thing that could possibly happen to him is if the VETO was used by someone [...]

BB: “I realize English may be a difficult language to understand, but STOP still means STOP!” Old Mother Hubbard, or in this case, our Big Brother houseguests, went to the storeroom and all of their favorite foods and snacks were gone, even the BEER! It seems Big Brother thought they were getting a little FAT [...]

Frank about Ian: “I don’t trust that little fucker as far as I could throw him…. and I could probably throw him pretty far!” I feel exactly the same way Danielle! WTF is going on in the Big Brother House? Just when you think the dust has settled, something or someone stirs that pot, BUT [...]

Ian: “This house is turning me into an asshole.” What the hell has happened to Frank? Did Big Brother have their prom and play a cruel “Carrie” joke on him? You have no idea what has happened since Mike Boogie walked out that door on Thursday. It’s been crazy. That “Fast Forward” has continued. Ian [...]

Boogie (a threat to Dan): “I’ll make you lose your cool when I tell you I’m going to fly to Michigan to fuck your wife!” Mike Boogie can not believe that anyone would dare put him on the block! It’s just ridiculous! He and Frank have decided that the peons in the Big Brother house [...]

Shane about Pandora: “Do they do that every week form now on? Something weird is happening again in the Big Brother house. The question is this…. ” ? ” …. Want to know more? So would the houseguest, but that’s all Big Brother has hinted to them so far and it’s driving them CRAZY! Want [...]

Danielle: “The people that watch the live feeds know the truth.” My thanks to Chicken Lips for that caption! Now let’s talk about this week’s VETO competition, shall we. So far, every week the Power of VETO has been “up for grabs”. The current HOH has either used it to change their very own nomination [...]

Shane: “I miss my dog sooo much, I can’t even image having a wife and kids!” Who are these guys and what are they doing in the Big Brother house? Wouldn’t you like to know. I do know this much, I’d rather look at these guys all day than the ones I’m subjected to this [...]

Shane to Danielle: “Do you know what a dork is? A whale’s penis…. just call me ‘Whale Penis’. “ The awkwardness of  Shanielle is reaching it’s breaking point. He confessed an intimate secret to her and she blew it off, demanding more “me” time or they could just forget the whole “showmance” thing. He told [...]

Frank: “I’m like the blocked kyrptonite. I don’t know what it is! I’m just lucky, I guess!” “Shanielle” are certain that America has fallen in love with them, They are the NEW Brenchel! They were considering the possibility of being the next Jeff & Jordan because of Danielle’s southern background, but it’s their competitive spirit [...]

Danielle to Janelle: “I never thought you were so funny in my entire life! Well, in the whole month I’ve known you.” How can you not look at that outfit and think of Shane! I had to take a second look to make sure he wasn’t the model. The guy does have quite a package [...]

Britney: Why is Jenn mad? We haven’t even talked to her at all!” Oh wow, what did Britney and Boogie find in that crane machine and could it affect the game this Thursday? It’s a proven fact that every Big Brother twist comes to a conclusion on the 4th week. This Thursday is that day! [...]

Britney: “Just don’t touch his penis, just don’t…. it’s not going to be good.”  Danielle: “Britney, I have these strong urges to see what size it is!”  Britney: “Ok… then we can figure something out.” Yeah Baby! I don’t think you’re gonna see this on Big Brother this week. My pictures were even censored when [...]

Janelle: “Ian knows more about my season than I do!” Ian and Ashley have become quite close in the Big Brother house. They could be considered the new “showmance” of the season. It’s more believable than the one CBS is trying to make viewers think is going on between our new HOH Shane and Nurse [...]

Plus bonus ringers!

ABC is finally giving us a chance to get to know the 14 contestants who will be spending the next ten weeks in The Glass House. Their journey begins this Saturday, June 9th and viewers will be able to start voting for all sorts of things, including who they think deserves to stay in the [...]

Vicki throws herself a pity party.

Anyone else tired of this guy??? Hello, dearest readers, and welcome to the very last Alcatraz recap of the season…or possibly forever! That’s just part of the show’s MYSTERY!! Monday night’s finale was a two-parter, and this recap will cover the second half (‘Tommy Mother F-in Madsen’) – if you’d like to check out the [...]

See why I call her ‘half-pint?’ Seriously…it’s amazing that her tiny hand can even wrap around that glass. Hey guys! Well, we’re winding down to the season finale of Alcatraz…or maybe I should say ‘winding UP,’ since it looks like the producers are starting to chuck some serious revelations our way. Last night’s episode – [...]

Seems like an odd choice of ball marker, but to each his own. He’s totally gonna sink that putt, by the way. Heeeeeeeeey Gasmii! All ready to sit down with a warm cup of cocoa, curl up by the fire, and immerse yourself in a heartwarming tale of murder and brainwashing? And would you please [...]

Shane is not this type of criminal.

FOX’s newest sitcom, Doc B and the Ward. Hiya gang! Last night we were finally treated to the episode of Alcatraz which had been pre-empted by that NASCAR race two weeks ago – ‘Clarence Montgomery.’ Thankfully, the re-ordering of the past few episodes didn’t affect the show’s overall continuity at all. I thought ‘Clarence Montgomery’ [...]

Tonight on the “dramatic season finale” of The Bachelor, Ben will choose between Lindzi and Courtney, two women with whom he is “head over heels” in love.  Now, I’ve never seriously dated two people at once, but I can’t imagine being in love with more than one person.  I’m guessing Ben is contractually obligated to [...]

NO, GODDAMN IT!! YOU WERE IN THE LAST EPISODE, GO AWAY!!! Seriously. That face is going to haunt my nightmares for days to come. For those of you who are catching up, them there’s the Ames brothers, who we covered in the first of two recaps this week – you can read it here if [...]

And what, exactly, are you shining that light at, missy? After being pre-empted for a rain-delayed NASCAR race, Alcatraz was back this week with a vengeance – and two new episodes! This recap covers the first of those episodes, ‘The Ames Brothers’ – I will be posting a second recap covering the episode ‘Sonny Burnett’ [...]

My new “favorite” show in the whole wide world is Once Upon A Time. It airs on Sunday nights at 8pm on ABC. Anything I can find out about this show is a plus. I DID find out a few interesting tidbits. The March 25th episode will take us away from Storybrooke to Wonderland, as [...]

Scut Farkus is lucky he didn’t go to school with this week’s baddie. Hellooooooooo, Gasmii! Hopefully you’ve watched this week’s episode of Alcatraz and therefore understand the above reference…if not, let’s just say this episode was a dark extended version of an ‘It Gets Better’ video. As in, don’t worry about being bullied, because one [...]

This week, The Bachelor takes us on the most exotic trip yet, to the girls’ hometowns.

Cast for her impressive ability to lie utterly still, just like Clooney’s wife in The Descendants. Seriously…wouldn’t you be bummed to find out you’d been cast as George Clooney’s wife, and then you spend the entire film lying in a hospital bed with your eyes closed, not uttering a single word? At least Parminder Nagra [...]

KA-BLOOEY!!! Happy Valentine’s week, Gasmii! What’s that? You don’t celebrate Valentine’s for seven days straight?!? What’s WRONG with you?!? JK, I don’t even celebrate the stupid occasion for more than five minutes, myself. I woke up on Tuesday, briefly murmured ‘Happy Valentine’s Day, I guess,’ to my husband, and then promptly forgot all about it. [...]

Don’t go getting too attached to THIS handsome fella… Yes indeed, it’s yet another True Blood alumnus…you may remember the gentleman above as Eggs, Tara’s ill-fated beau – this dude just can’t catch a break. Get it? Eggs, break – nyuck, nyuck, nyuck. (sorry) Well, Gasmii – if you’re anything like me, you’ve been hoping [...]

Not like THAT, dirty-bird. Sheesh. Hiya, Gasmii! Are you all ready to dive into episode 5 of Alcatraz? Do you have a snack handy? Did you go to the bathroom already? ‘Cuz I am NOT turning this car around once we get started. This week, we were treated to a bit more back story on [...]

This week The Bachelor World Tour takes us to Panama City, Florida, where we will see topless Spring Breakers.

The dark & mysterious side of Hoyt Fortenberry. True Blood alert! That’s right – for once I referenced a show that isn’t Lost. I DO watch other things! How’s it hanging, Gasmii? Y’all sticking with me here? Very interested to hear your thoughts on our latest episode of Alcatraz… Episode 5 – “Guy Hastings” – [...]

The Bachelor chooses, yet again, to take Ben and the ladies to another exotic location, Puerto Rico.  I like Ben.  I liked him last season and despite the continual insistence from commenters that Ben is not attractive, I find him charming.  However, ABC clearly thinks we have to jet around the world to make this [...]

Hey, it’s Alexander Skarsgard with a terrible haircut! Ok, it’s not, we only wish. Hey-howdy-hey, Gasmii! Did you tune in for Alcatraz last night? Or were you too busy watching The Bachelor (aka Floppy-Haired Simpleton Dates Whiny Bitches)? Trust me, guys – TiVo that shit and get your ass over to the island, cuz this [...]

Ah, a face only a mother could love. Welcome to Alcatraz episode 3, Gasmii! As I mentioned in the minicap, this show just got a whole hell of a lot darker RILL fast…hope you’re all up for the challenge! As we know…back in 1963, 302 people vanished from the island prison of Alcatraz, never to [...]