POSTS TAGGED: spoof

Last week was Christmas in Biermann land.  It was a clash between Kroy’s idea of a real Christmas tree that was strangely green and reeking of forest-y freshness and Kim’s idea of a real Christmas tree that’s pre-decorated and boxed up in the Big Poppa Gift Emporium just waiting to be plugged in and skirted. [...]

This week on Bullshit Amish, we pick up where we left off last week with some guy named Mike who is a proud redneck and wants to beat up the disgusting Jeremiah who porked his girl.  Jeremiah claims that it’s all OK, because the girl had broken up with Mike before they slept together.  How [...]

Last week, it was the best of report cards, it was the worst of report cards.  Kim encouraged Kroy to try a new strategy of rewarding Brielle for failing a couple of classes by giving her back everything they’d taken away and letting her go to prom.  Brielle’s grades improved dramatically, and she had fun [...]

Last week on Breaking Amish, Sabrina got into a white trash battle royale with Jeremiah’s on-again/off-again girlfriend, Kim.  We resume right here with Kate, Sabrina, and Kim yelling at each other about respect.  Sabrina goes all over dramatic by calling 911 to come and get Kim, because the cops don’t have more important things to [...]

Hi there Gasmi, it’s time for a little Dear TvGasm. Where we give unsolicited advice to made up questions from celebrities in need of help. We haven’t been around lately, because for the most part our celebrities have been muddling through life pretty well on their own. (Well for the most part, there has been one exception. Dear Amanda Bynes, you [...]

Last week, the Biermanns were making plans to keep making babies.  Since they can’t keep their paws off of each other, they’ll need to pursue birth control to time the births so that Kroy will be home. Learning the Art of the Mani-Pedi.   Nurse Kim knows very little about birth control or reproduction when [...]

The sun sets on the majestic town of Savannah, Georgia.  Darkness descends on the looming ropes of Spanish moss.  Beautiful buildings watch over the quiet city streets where a trolly full of ex-Amish ghost hunters snakes through the dark.   Guess whose idea this was?  That’s right, Gasmii.  Our resident greaseball pervert, Jeremiah.  The ghost [...]

Welcome to TVgasm’s newest weekly show, It’s TV: With Ronnie and Carrie!  Today, Ronnie Karam and Carrie Locklyn check out Lifetime’s new show, Pretty Wicked Moms, and flash back to when James Lipton was a pimp. Then it’s off to talk trash about the next Kardashian porn, Adam Levine dissing America and Intervention getting the axe.  [...]

Last week, Michael’s smugness and inability to cook halibut were scrubbed from Hell’s Kitchen and the ladies were asked to reach a consensus. One lady chef needed to move over to the Blue team to help even out the teams and since all the ladies wanted to prove themselves, all of them volunteered so they [...]

Today on Breaking Amish we learn that these five kids have the IQ of a Cheeto, Sabrina has a gland problem that makes her cry incessantly, and Jeremiah has chlamydia. OK, so that’s all speculation, but I think I’m pretty right on.  The RV trip resumes in Savannah where over 50 years of civil rights [...]

Last week, Kim was under attack on all fronts, with the most recent attacks coming from her father.  The Italian Scallion called Kim a bad role model for having four children from three men, and called Kim a pathological liar.  He didn’t appreciate the deserved mockery of his chicken-armed, off-the-chart crazy wife.   This seksi [...]

Finally we come to the last part of War & No Damn Peace. Also known as Part 3 of the BGC Reunion. I am not going to lie. I have skank fatigue. We have already seen 2 weeks of sneak attacks, blithering idiots and lots of weave snatchin’. Let’s put this bitch to bed. We [...]

Welcome to TVgasm’s newest weekly show, It’s TV: With Ronnie and Carrie!  Today, Ronnie Karam and Carrie Locklyn review HBO’s Behind the Candelabra, talk crap about Michael J Fox’s hilarious new Parkinson’s sitcom, and delve into the reality of Bravo’s new reality show, Newlyweds.   Let us know what you think in the comments, and like, subscribe [...]

If the video looks funky above, check it out on our YouTube page! For more RHOC ReDubs, just keep the video playing!   Next week on The Real Housewives of Orange County, Gretchen tries to figure out how babies are made, Alexis tries to explain Jesus’ magic, and Tamra’s mom is a betch.  For Alejandra’s hilarious recaps, go here. [...]

The episode opens with a knock at Abe and Rebecca’s door.  Rebecca opens it only to cuss the person out and slam the door.  Turns out its Abe’s pervy brother you may remember from last season.  You know, the one who looks like he’s constantly thinking about naked women.  He’s been telling everyone in the [...]

Another day of bulls**t!! Ashton Kutcher hangs with Mila Kunis’ folks, Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart break up again, and Courtney Stodden makes a sex tape. Also, Chris Brown gets death threats, OJ wants college, and there’s a new Real Housewife of Beverly Hills. For more videos, subscribe to our channel and find us on facebook  and Twitter. Also, check out [...]

Really?????????????? That’s it?

(Hi there Gasmi, before we delve into the awful mess that is today’s celebrity LinkedIN webpage, I have a confession to make. My resume is horrible too. It’s a place where stilted English has gone to die, sharing space with outright lies. (I never had a Summer internship with Jacques Cousteau. I figured with him always being underwater [...]

Last week, Kroy pursued legally adopting Brielle and Ariana.  Super nice guy, like an island in a raging sea of something else. The Biermann family is growing quickly, so they are building a new black mold dream home full of mirrors.  Plus, he’s gained a precious mother-in-law that is like antifreeze-laced icing on the crazy [...]

As we all know we left off last week with Bluto finally tapping Chuck’s tater the way she should have done much sooner. For some reason, Tanisha doesn’t understand this and seems to take Chuck’s side. I’m thinking Tanisha didn’t watch the damn season or she would know that the best time to put Chuck [...]

Yes, kids, the apocalypse is upon us.  Breaking Amish has returned for a second season.  This also means that TLC doesn’t give a single fuck that everyone is onto their complete lack of any legitimacy in their “reality” programming. This episode is quite boring due to the fact that we’re busy catching up on their [...]

Finale. Finally.

If the video looks funky above, check it out on our YouTube page! For more RHOC ReDubs, just keep the video playing!   Next week on The Real Housewives of Orange County, Alexis decides she has talent, Lori comes back with a Toy Story face, and Terry starts the kids on fire.  For Alejandra’s hilarious recaps, go here. [...]

  After such a huge scandal and revelations that the show was a giant pile of bull, TLC has brought back Breaking Amish.  We now have a tag Brave New World to add to that title, which apparently means that they’re just making this show the Jersey Shore for the Amish.  Next year, they’ll head [...]

Season 10 Reunion is upon us already! Did this season fly by for you like it did me? Man there is so much to cover in this one sad reunion that I’m not sure we ……..what? 3 reunions? Seriously?  As I was saying we have a three part reunion to hash out all our grievances. [...]

No act of charity goes unresented

Kim spent most of last week’s episode trying to learn the rules of football…stupidity on so many levels.  Rose, her grandmotherly psychic, showed that her crystal ball needs new spark plugs and an oil change after she predicted Kroy would be in the Super Bowl.  It wasn’t exactly a lingerie league team, but Kim learned [...]

ZAPPED!!!

As you might have noticed, we are starting to add a whole lot of video to the gasm. I’ve been searching high and low for the funny, but sometimes the best boogars are already in your nose! Enter Amanda Ohly, half of the famous Fran and Barry of Amazing Race Recaps fame. Amanda has decided [...]

You can also find us on iTunes here.  On this week’s Watch What Crappens, Matt Whitfield (Yahoo), Ben Mandelker, (bsideblog) and Ronnie Karam (TVgasm) talk crap about the Real Housewives of Orange County’s Heather going to dark side and the new wacky grandma on the scene. Then it’s off to Married to Medicine to try [...]

One of these four teams is about to be the winner of AR Season 22 and get one million smackeroos! And then Berry and I will have to quietly wait until season 23 starts so we can double our efforts name dropping the Ford Focus or Fusion so we are finally given one! But that’s [...]

Welcome to TVgasm’s newest weekly show, It’s TV! With Ronnie and Carrie. Today, we discuss Farrah Abraham’s nasty sex tape, Adrienne Maloof’s terrible shoes, and WE TV’s new show, Pregnant and Dating!   Let us know what you think in the comments, and like, subscribe and comment on our YouTube page. These will be posted every [...]

Two in one elimination episode

Last week, Kim and Kroy celebrated their first anniversary Biermann-style, recreating their wedding at the venue of the dance competition where Kim first saw Kroy’s ass.  For Kim, that’s super sentimental, y’all. The most important question that needs answering about any celebration with Kim is:  What about the gifts?  Kim sure does love her gifts.  [...]

This peasant ain’t pleasant!

For more RHOC ReDubs, just keep the video playing!   Next week on The Real Housewives of Orange County, Lydia’s mom disables a clerk, Jim doesn’t want Alexis doing what Jesus did, and Brooks returns!  For Alejandra’s hilarious recaps, go here. Want more ReDubs? Visit our YouTube page (please subscribe!)  and our Screening Room here at the gasm. I’m also doing weekly BS of [...]

***Please welcome our newest recapper to the family, DISCO!!! Hellllooo Gasmii! I couldn’t be happier to be joining the TVGasm family as a recapper! I’ve been a long-time reader and I can’t wait to dig in and lend my brand of snark to Hells Kitchen! First, a quick re-cap of last week’s episode, “14 Chefs [...]

Amazing Race you are almost over! I can’t bear it! Project Runway is done and when AR is finished Berry and I will have NOTHING LEFT!! We will just have to spend our days thinking about our baby or something and our baby does NOT form catty imaginary alliances with other teams of babies, BORING! [...]

Great band!  Best Coast – “Fear of My Identity” Well, the creator and show runner for Revenge was fired this past week.  Mike Kelley is outta here!  This can be looked at in a few different ways.  He was the show so it sucks he was let go…but the show has gone downhill…but he knows [...]

Hi there Gasmi, do you like celebrities? Of course you do, you’re an American.  Unless of course you’re not an American, in which case you probably do better on math tests, but struggle when it comes to eating unhealthy amount of deep fried food. Don’t feel bad, not everyone can eat 30 corn dogs in [...]