POSTS TAGGED: spoof

Hi Gasmi, well another episode of Dollhouse, which means all sorts of lessons. Such as love can conquer all, the best defense is the ability to telepathically nag people, and upper class British women are surprisingly surly drunks. So make the jump and get to the good stuff. What? You got a problem with my [...]

Yes! We’ve made it, Gasmi. What a strange and ill advised season it has been. We started out with what seemed like weeks and weeks and weeks of auditions, moved on to the first ever Meet the Top Twenty show, didn’t get to vote at all for the first couple of weeks, had the year [...]

Remember the time I got really busy with the holidays and posted the finale of The Biggest Loser really late? But because you all love me so much, you weren’t upset? Yeah, sorry ’bout that! Can I appease you with a hot pic of Danny who is looking really fly these days? Is it wrong [...]

MTV does not condone this type of garbage, okay? What time is it you ask? It’s time to HIT the Jersey Shore!

Hey Gasmi, is everybody ready to spend a lot of time examining the most sublime human emotion? What? No, it’s not rage against Al Roker. That’s the most justifiable emotion. No, I’m talking about love, the one four letter word standards and practices doesn’t have a problem with. Oh and Alpha is back and has [...]

First and foremost, babies ruin everything but especially television shows. From Cousin Oliver on The Brady Bunch, to Albert on Little House on the Prairie, to Murphy Brown and her ancient egg fertilization, we all know it. So it is with some trepidation that I watched this episode of Ugly Betty with the double pregnancy [...]

Dearest Gasmii– Bitches in da house again, yo!!! Of course I’m talking about myself. Bravo is trying to squeeze a few more drops of ratings milk from this show’s saggy, ashy teat, so let’s see how many people I can offend in one last blog! Before I “lose another fan” (and BTW, I consider a [...]

Previously, oops, did I spell that wronged? Fuck it. Don’t care. In the last episode of Bad Girls Club Batshitalie tried to be the L.A. running alpha ho but ended up spending the night in a hotel because she smacked Kendra in the tater. Let’s take a peek and see what’s what this week!

Hi Gasmii– First, thanks to Msjaqmills, bingo boy and uglycutiefor their very flattering and enjoyable comments last week. God bless you for reading and keep ‘em coming! When The CW gives you lemons, all you can do is make spiteful, derisive recaps lemonade. This show needs a major transfusion of twisted, but let’s dispense with [...]

Tonight, on Survivor: it’s two episodes in one! Also, people finally figure out that it might be a good thing to get rid of Russell at some point.

Hey Gasmi, well it’s time to see what our pals in America’s favorite brainwashing facility have gotten up to this week. Oh and Echo almost helps an illegal immigrant get a lethal injection. So quit dawdling and make the jump and see what happens in this episode of Dollhouse. Cuando llego a casa estoy pateando [...]

“Just try to resist all this. Impossible!” It’s time to head back to the Jersey Shore to check in on the trashiest group of jerks on TV! Reading through all of your comments this last week made me giggle really hard and think about a bunch of stuff. I also have to say that the [...]

It is with sadness and regret that I announce…that I had to watch For the Love of Ray J. Last season wasn’t exactly brimming with talent and entertainment but I felt a little invested in what was going on. This time, not so much. I can only hope that Ray J decides to send home [...]

This week on Styl’d, Jen almost beats the shit out of Tara. I said almost. As in, almost Emmy worthy. Come on, Styl’d!! MAKE AN EFFORT!! When Male Pattern Baldness Attacks

I sat down to watch this episode and I said a little prayer that Rumer and Kellyanne would completely humiliate Kenny and Evan. Apparently, the big man was busy answering someone else’s prayers. And it rhymes with Snoozie. And you thought that Rumer’s visualizations were corny.

Hi ‘Gasmii. *sigh* Where does the time go? It can’t possibly be a full six months that we’ve been meeting here to talk about Top Chef in one form or another, can it? Have we really been sitting here for twenty-four weeks straight analyzing the challenges, arguing about our favorite chefs and generally talking trash [...]

This is it kids! The big finale! We’ve learned so much this season: never be a vegan on this show if you wanna make it past the start line, buying a $5 passport-holder might be worth it to win a million dollars, there’s nothing deadlier than a waterslide (especially if you’re dating someone willing to [...]

Look Gasmii, I have a job. A really important job. An advertising job. That’s why this recap is late. So, without further ado, please enjoy my gift to you, the last recap of 90210 of ’09… Sorry, I didn’t have time to wrap it…

Hello sweeties! It’s episode two of Crazy Bitches Gone Wild or as Oxygen insists on calling it Bad Girls Club. It seems we have a special person amongst the group who really thinks she “runs L.A.” Let’s jump on in to Batalie’s head and see what storms are brewing this week! Looks to me like [...]

This week on The Biggest Loser, our remaining four contestants ran a full 26.2-mile marathon. Without training properly. And without any of the cheering fans and drink stops that would be present during a normal race. It’s something that would put ANY normal human being into instant cardiac arrest. I’m about to call Flabulous People [...]

I’m not sure what’s worse, seeing Ugly Betty in a bathing suit or faking us out with a sepia-toned opening in a 1920s unitard once known as a “bathing suit.” Really, it’s a toss-up. Betty is pitching an idea about a feature on the first woman to wear a bathing suit with accompanying photos of [...]

“I knew these would pay off!” Jersey Shore, The Premiere continues. So where were we? Ah yes, Snooki has been pouting in her bed and no one really noticed, which means she’s not getting enough attention and therefore wants to go home and forget the whole thing. If you ask me, packing her crap is [...]

Hey Gasmi, what you been doing with yourself for the past month? Have you been enjoying those Bones and House reruns Fox trotted out for sweeps? No? Well don’t worry because Dollhouse is back, so make the jump and see what’s the newest trend in acceptable work behavior. Because everyone should be able to blow [...]

I could barely sit down to watch this week’s episode. This season has been such a letdown but I’m going to stick it out since this is my duty. Some people fight wars; I watch bad reality TV. This week’s episode picks up where the last one left off. Heartbreaker is lamenting the fact that [...]

I’m so sorry for the late recap, Gasmii! I’m still watching Jersey Shore over and over and over again. Thank heaven for the DVR and the pause button. I can’t get enough of watching that tanned dwarf getting punched in the head. Does that make me a bad person? Here’s a tip: Don’t tell a [...]

“Here we are! Who wants an STD?” Greetings beloved readers! I am back after a very brief hiatus to take a good look at the latest pile of trash masquerading as a documentary that MTV has seen fit to present – Jersey Shore.

What’s up, people? Are you all in the midst of your holiday craze yet? Last night I was outside putting my pretty sparkly lights up at 3:00am. Was I on meth? No, sillies, meth makes you skinny, therefore you can take one look at me and tell I don’t touch the stuff. Plus, I still [...]

Well, Gasmii, there are only two good things about this week’s episode. It didn’t air on Thanksgiving, thereby allowing us all to digest our food in relative peace and quiet, and Tammy from the ghosts of Housewives past stops by for a game of Bunko at Tamra’s house. Wait, I just remembered! There are three! [...]

Hey Gasmii. My sincerest apologies for the late recap. Most of the year I’m surfing the web at work and working on my recap but unfortunately we’ve come to one of the two months a year when I actually earn my paycheck. I’m tired, hungry and cranky but as God as my witness, I’ll get [...]

“It appears Wilhelmina Slater has been struck blind by the fashion gods,” Suzuki St. Pierre says as we open this episode of Ugly Betty. And has she ever! We see her getting out of a cab wearing sweats, a ball cap, and multi-colored crocs. Sweet Jesus, kill me now, you can’t even see her cleavage [...]

It’s that time of year again kiddies! Bright colorful lights, red noses, silver wrist jewelry. Christmas you say? Nah, it’s time for the Bad Girls Club! Let’s see who gets snockered, arrested or generally injured in the mayhem that is the best show on tv!

Hi guys, welcome to our last bit of V goodness until 2010. A lot of stuff happens tonight, but the main thing you can take away from this episode is that vaccinations are bad, and there are a horde of evil aliens just waiting to swoop in and enslave us. Awww, it looks like Jenny [...]

On a very special For the Love of Ray J, the girls have to style and direct Ray J in a Sean John photo shoot. The first eleven minutes of the episode are very Adorable-centric so either she’s going to be the winner or she’s going home. She’s one of the more attractive girls so [...]

Last week we learned that when you “candle-a-bra” you get “elimin-a-ted” and that someone’s gonna get their ass beat this episode! WHY?! Because it’s Amazing Race and somebody’s gotta get whooped! Teams start out in the marshes of Estonia where we left them and we see Team Master Race get the first clue – fly [...]

Hey ‘Gasmii, I’m finally back. I can’t apologize enough for the delays on this recap. As you may recall, the BF and I headed to Los Angeles last weekend where we ate some fine foods (Flipit and I shared a plate of deep-fried mac’n’cheese balls at Hamburger Mary’s on Santa Monica Blvd and giggled and [...]

Can you believe this season’s ending?!?! It seems like it’s only been running for ten years. Craziness! We open with a big glitter graphic spelling out ONE. LAST. CHANCE. And then they put this pic up. OK that’s just rude, you guys.

Welcome to the holidays, y’all! I think the last couple of weeks of November are my favorite time of the year for TV. Sweeps are almost over, and the Super Dramatic Action Episodes give way to the lets-just-have-fun-cuz-no-ones-watching episodes. It’s like dessert after the big meal. If the preview is any indication, this week’s episode [...]

This week on The Biggest Loser, we are down to our final six! And the presence of one happy, fashion-forward man makes up for all the pain I have that Liz is still with us. Ahhh! A vision in grey!

Guess who LOVES winning! Well here we are after just having watched Irina be crowned the winner of Project Runway Season 6. Before her parents even came onstage crying everyone knew that this means Kalyn also wins for accidentally ending up as Irina’s final model – her “muse model” as it were.

Start spreading the news, scaly skinned lizards are hitting the streets of Manhattan. What? No this isn’t a recap for Real Housewives of New York, we’re talking about V so make the jump and see what shenanigans space lizards can get into. Good lizards Bad lizards