POSTS TAGGED: spoof

This week on V, The Resistance breaks up and reforms only two less times then Areosmith did, a kid who looks like he wandered off a Tiger Beat cover throws somebody a beat down, and the US government wrestles with whether or not they should recognize the giant spaceships hovering over LA and New York.

In the first three minutes of this week’s show, Trouble is drinking before noon, Extra is on a manhunt trying to figure out who left cornflakes in the sink and then she reads the bible. “I wonder how this book ends…”

This week on Project Runway, Minnesota erases half his face, Carol Hannah barfs and talks super slowly, and Irina turns her dog into a hooker coat. I hope you die. You too. Copycat. You are.

This week on Heroes: all the people who took last week off are back. Last week: Hiro and HRG and Samuel and Sylar. This week: Claire and Peter… and HRG and Samuel and Sylar. Never mind. I thought I had something there but I guess not. Maybe it’ll come back to me. Let us return [...]

Hi Gasmii– Well, its official– the drama generated by my Real Housewives of Atlanta recap artistry is way juicier than 98% of what’s going on at Melrose Place. I don’t wanna bore you with THAT recap, so let’s just say feelings were hurt, threats were made, and whiny little bitches were out in full force. [...]

Hello Gasmii, welcome to another recap of Ugly Betty, formerly known as Circling the Drain. The writers have once again pulled out a pretty good episode and I am thrilled to be able to rip it apart. Let’s let it rip! The ears are coming from inside the office!

This week on 90210, Borianna abuses, Annie loses and Dixon and Liam compete for the title of most annoying character. Which means it’s not Annie for once. In other news, Mones questions the existence of God. Writing this bad can only be the work of one man.

This week of Grey’s Anatomy, annoyed the shit out of me. Last week’s episode, they focused solely on one case in hopes that we would have some type of emotional connection to him, despite knowing nothing about it. Once again Grey’s, A+ on character development. So this week…they take the easy way out, by still [...]

Hello gorgeous dolls, I am here to catch you up on the Lamaii! I blame E! for not doing this sooner – they’re sort of turned their channel into a Kardash fest, and I for one could not find that family more dull (except Kim, everyone loves Kim). E!’s backing the wrong show, and there’s [...]

He-aaaay, Hoes! No, I’m not talking to you, Gasmii. What you do on your own time is your own damn business. I’m talking about the klassy ladies of Orange County- Crackie, Wretched Gretchen, Slurry McFuzzybrains, Mama Jeana and hot (only if you ignore the age spots and the gawd awful personality) housewife Tamra Barney. We’ll [...]

This week on The Biggest Loser, some fat people get really patriotic. Sadly, this doesn’t include them draping their naked bodies in an American flag. Atlas Shrugged

We’re doing something different and rocking the Photocap this week, because I don’t want you guys to have to wait any longer to discuss what turned out to be a totally rad episode. So, here goes!

Hi Gasmi, pop quiz. What do you think is the first thing you need for quality TV show? What’s that? How about a new and original idea that people have never seen before? WRONG! Bad Gasmi, bad! No development deal for you. No, I’m sorry but the correct answer is something that’s been done before. [...]

“Who do I have to kill to prove I can walk!?” Moments before… Don Draper convinced Bert Cooper and Roger Sterling to buy back Sterling Cooper and start all over! I don’t know how I’m going to wait until next summer to see how this all plays out! And meanwhile Betty is off to Reno [...]

Hi Gasmii– I should really heed Kandi‘s words and “Fly Above” the nastiness of chickadee2586, who basically accused me of phoning in last week’s blog, but please allow me to emphasize the inherent difficulty of “recapping” a Reunion in which everyone gets along, refuses to go off on each other, and declines to answer any [...]

This week on America’s Next Top Model, I’m sad to report that no one drowns during an underwater photo shoot. “Oh, so THAT’S the difference between the labia majora and the labia minora! Thanks, Marisa Miller!”

With Wus finally gone, I was hoping the Champions would get their act together and finally force the goons to prove themselves in the Ruins but no such luck. Fortunately, and sorry to ruin the suspense, most of the scapegoats will be gone by the end of this episode and some of these guys are [...]

Tonight on Heroes, Charlie!! Um…you have something in your eye.

Welcome everyone! Do you like reunions? I don’t mean the heart-wrenching, soul-twisting, tear-jerking kind that you find in the movies where some long-separated pair of lovers is brought back together after years of hardships and suffering and they have just enough time to have sex once before one of them is killed either in a [...]

Looks like my karma for all of those hours of voluntarily tickling homeless men has finally paid off because Ray J is back! So I totally tried to audition for this season but chickened out the night of the event. All of the castings were held at clubs and I didn’t think my sweatpants and [...]

Well it figures that after an awesome episode of Grey’s Anatomy, we are followed by this crappy filler. I just don’t understand why after such a killer episode we then get this one. I literally could recap this episode in about 3 paragraphs, but I’ll give a bit more description than that. The one plus [...]

This week on Desperate Housewives: Cherry and Co. continue to want everyone to hate Katherine, and if this episode is any evidence, mission accomplished. Because she tries AGAIN to seduce Mike pretty much in front of Susan, then acts like a crazy cake-making ho toward Angie. But MIKE TAKES HIS SHIRT OFF! I know! Also, [...]

Just when you thought it wasn’t safe to watch Ugly Betty, they kick out an excellent episode! In fact, there was one scene where I actually laughed out loud. I know! The show is fighting it’s way back to Thursday with an episode called “The Wiener, The Bun and the Boob.” It’s like Girls Gone [...]

Hi Gasmii– I’ll let Bravo executive spokesmodel Miss Thing Andy Cohen open us up today in classic overwrought style: “After a season of controversy and betrayal, surprising new alliances, shocking twists of fate, boys in high heels and a one-hit wonder, Part One starts tonight!” But don’t get too excited. Up until the last few [...]

Hi Gasmii! As of TODAY, I am taking over recaps of The Biggest Loser from Bailey Quarters. The last two episodes will go un-recapped due to the slow transition of power. But, not to worry, I can fill you in on what you missed: Some fat people got kicked off and some other fat people [...]

“Does the word ‘residue’ mean anything to you?” Moments before Models of the Runway… Logan has YET AGAIN designed something fugly and landed himself in the bottom. This time Kojii is all bedazzled out in zippers decorating a black and white Judy Jetson outfit. It was meant to be a companion piece to a “good” [...]

This week on America’s Next Top Model, the girls travel to Hawaii, where Tyra finds the justification to offend as many racial and ethnic groups as possible within one hour. “Yes, this should be inappropriate enough to earn me some extra Google Search Results this week!”

Sadly, it looks like exchanging sex for votes is failing miserably in Phuket, Thailand. And it also looks like we’re going to have to listen to at least 42 minutes of the Cohutta – Kellyanne – Wus – Johanna love trapezoid. I’m over it. If any one of the four is the focus of any [...]

Welcome back, Heroes fans. If you’ve gotten sick of Good Sylar lately, this episode promises plenty of Bad Sylar for your guilty pleasure. Are you a Claire/Gretchen shipper? You’re in the right place. For the rest of us… I’ll try to make this quick and painless. It’s a rainy night in LA (that right there [...]

Tonight Nigel proves yet again that he is a colossal prick.   Welcome! To So You Think You Can Dance (dance………..dance)!! You should be hanging your head in shame! 

This is it, Gasmi. We’ve made it through all the audition episodes, through the grueling Vegas week, through the filler filled selection episode, and now we are to be rewarded. Tonight we get to see each of the top twenty dancers perform a routine in their own genre. It will be the first time we [...]

Hello and greetings and Happy Post-Halloween! I hope all of you had a great time, wore some fun costumes, and had some tasty candy. As many of you may be aware, Halloween = Gay Christmas so naturally I was in the middle of a great big gay bar party out in Scottsdale that puts on [...]

Hey, what ya doin’? Well whatever it is just don’t paint, because working with watercolors will F you up for sure. At least that’s the message I took away from the lastest episode of Dollhouse. So, make the jump and see just what the hell I’m talking about now. It’s a little known fact but [...]

Oh my God are you kidding me? We open Ugly Betty with Betty scrubbing some guy’s head and that is NOT a euphemism. She’s working in Hilda’s shop where apparently Hilda has schedule 50 appointments for 7am. I only guess at the time because both Betty and Justin are still at home and since they [...]

This week on Grey’s Anatomy the writers did something that makes me happier than most things. They proved me right. The only thing I enjoy more than being right is winning, so Grey’s….it has been awhile, but you made me VERY happy tonight. FINALLY. In my last recap I said that I don’t like the [...]

We open this fine Flipping Out Reunion with a clip of Jeff explaining his “number two rollover minutes” employee plan. You’re either disgusted and looking for another website to go to right now or you’re like me: totally fascinated about the details of this plan. Let’s do this. Hottest murderess of the season.

This week, a show called Styl’d was on. It’s about people who dream about being stylists, did you honestly expect it to be spelled right? Do you see what I have to deal with/ First,male pattern baldness and now this!

Moments before… Heidi is all dressed up as a dominatrix and trying to decide whether Christopher or Nicholas sucks worse. It’s another fine episode of Models of the Runway! “You will thank me and ask for another.”

Hi Gasmii– Let me begin by thanking you for all the sweet comments proving I am not doing this blog merely to entertain Flipit– not that that isn’t a perfectly appropriate goal unto itself. All I can say is I wish the show was juicier, more fun and had more interesting actors & characters. At [...]

Hi Gasmii– It’s the Season Finale! I thought I would be more excited, since writing double blogs (I also do Melrose Place, which should be way more fun than it is) has wreaked havoc with my social life, other projects, and amount of sexual activity. When Flipit asked me to do MP, he thought there [...]