POSTS TAGGED: spoof

Previously on The Ruins: Wombat was a drunk, Wus was a maniac and Kellyanne was a slut and a whore. I think that pretty much covers it. Oh, wait, and Evan was an ass. A gentle reminder.

Esta semana en 90210, Mones is bored by everything and annoyed by everyone. In other news, Naomi is a money exchange away from becoming a total prostitute. No reason for this pic other than I wanted to remember that good shows, though canceled, do exist.

Good evening ladies and gentlemen! This week on Kourtney and Khloe Take Miami: Ho White confirms she is indeed knocked up, albeit with what may turn out to be the most famesucking Kartrashian of them all. The thing is still in fetal stage and already is grabbing tabloid headlines. I can only assume this is [...]

It’s a boring day at Jeff Lewis’ office. Let me tell you, Gasmii, if you have no interest in tile, you might just want to skip this recap because it’s all about tile. Wall tile, floor tile, pool tile and glass tile on shits. I kid you not. There’s a lot of chatter and not [...]

Tonight on FlashForward, the country continues to mourn Joe Biden. Nah, just kidding.

On this episode of So You Think You Can Dance (dance………dance), Nigel is away getting some honorary degree.  At the Pied Piper’s School of Music  Oh no!  How will they know who to put through to Vegas, or choreography without Nigel guiding them along?

Hello Peeplets! This is late as all hell and I shall explain it all to you in a bit. For now let’s see what the Chefabes are up to. Be careful or I’ll raise my voice …or change my…pitch..or…something.

This week on The Biggest Loser, we finally find our villain! Her best feature is that if she ever threatens to go all Hannibal Lecter, she probably means it. Join me after the jump!

Hello Gasmii, welcome back to another episode of Toddlers & Tiaras! This episode takes us to the Miss Tiny USA (please let it be for fat kids!) in the fine city of Laurel, Mississippi. Damn, I’m going to be singing that M-I-S-S-I-S-S-I-P-P-I song through this whole recap! Pageant Director Darla Bailey, the second wife of [...]

Hey gasmi, another week in the Dollhouse where we find out the brain is like an 80′s heavy metal band, and all you really need to know you can learn watching the Lifetime Network This is your brain. Trust me, you don’t even want to think about what it looks like on drugs

****And now please welcome your newest recapper, SexyPanda!! It’s the second season of Lifetime’s DietTribe, where we meet the latest group of tubby friends to embark on a weight-loss journey. There’s no competition involved, and the women aren’t even that pretty. So why are you watching? The eye candy that is Jesse Pavelka? Cheap/petty jokes [...]

Tonight, on Survivor: This face. Also, white supremacists everywhere weep.

“Mmm… models.” This week on Models of the Runway: Pumpkin pie.

Hey Hey Gasmii! The hot topic of the season has turned out to be how much of a twat NeNe has become, and if she has any right to be miffed that gold-diggity Wigger Kim yanked back her offer to let NeNe record with her on “Tardy For the Party”, the tasty pop confection Kandi [...]

When I heard about this show, I thought it would be couples at a dude ranch, riding and roping to win a date with a cute cowboy. I was wrong, very wrong. If Roy and Dale saw this show they would probably be spinning in their graves. Not the horses and dog though, they are [...]

This week on Project Runway, blue is the new fug. Nothing personal.

We all saw the previews. Marc Jacobs performs Beyonce’s “Single Ladies” and I know people were getting really excited for this but Joe Jonas already covered this shiz. That was cute but this is months later and I am not impressed. Instead of putting a ring on it, let’s put a lid on it. Thanks. [...]

Welcome back my Real Worlding and Road Ruling Gasmii! Here’s this week’s recap: Twenty eight cast members from previous seasons of the Real World and Road Rules contaminate Phuket, Thailand and compete in the newest Real World/Road Rules Challenge/Clusterfuck. Landon is not one of the cast members. The End. Seriously, MTV. I’m far too old [...]

This week on 90210, Borianna runs back into the loving arms of Drama, Jen outsmarts Liam and vice versa, and Dixon digs himself into a deeper hole. In other news, Jen finally bought chapstick…with Naomi’s money, of course. Heh.

Hola Gasmii! So I’m feeling really good about myself because I am superskinny as I’m just coming off a 48-hour fast. You know, the first twenty four were for Yom Kippur but I like to double up because God LOVES skinny girls. So forgive me since I’m a little light-headed. And maybe a bit drunk. [...]

Ok, one hour down, one to go! We start part two of Grey’s Anatomy on Day 20, of life after George and Meredith is still monologing about the stages of grief. And on Day 20, people are kind of taking it easy. We open to Lexie sitting in the room with a sleeping Seviche, Yang [...]

Last week we were treated to two entire back to back episodes of Hell’s Kitchen so I decided to something different here and just cover then both in one recap. Besides, I’m lazy and I still have 2 hours of DWTS to do so it just makes sense. Let’s see what the Chefabes are up [...]

Welcome back to Grey’s Anatomy! Last season we ended things with a BANG, and that was just the sound George made when hit by the bus. Too soon? To quickly recap, at the end of last season Izzie was knocking on death’s door, which looked a lot like the Seattle Grace elevator, in her prom [...]

Okay, who’s up for a new season of Dollhouse? Come on, we’re going to catch up with all our friends from last season, and watch Eliza Dushku bring down an international arms dealer using only three facial expressions. So make the jump and let’s get to the good stuff.

***This is Part 2 of the Heroes season premiere recap. Check out Part 1 here! *** We’re back for the second part of the premiere, this one titled Jump, Push, Fall. When we left for the break, Parkman was dreaming his giant kid was still a baby and kidnapped by Sylar in exchange for his [...]

“Ra’mon gave me lizard skin to make me a lizard for Ra’mon.” Moments before… it’s the same as always. The Models of the Runway whose designers are in the bottom two are quivering with fright.

This week on America’s Next Top Model, the girls finally get catty and my friends can take a break from suicide watch as Tyra’s big yapper takes a backseat for once. Instead, we get an impromptu performance from The Supremes. “Stop! In the naaaaaame of Tyra!”

Hey hey hey, what’s up people? I may have spoken about my brush with the culinary world before. I don’t like to talk about it much, because I don’t want people to think I’m trying to be all grand or pretentious. However, I can say that I was a chef for about 11 months at [...]

Tonight on Dancing With the Stars Results, the tanning machine in George Hamilton’s guest room is plugged back in and Kathy Ireland re-signs her deal with the devil. Come on in. Couldn’t be more painful than Kelsey’s new show.

This week on Project Runway, illegal alien human hybrids across Earth bowed their heads in shame and we found out what gives Gunn boners. My pants just got tighter in the crotch area.

Hola Gasmii– Who’s in the mood for steamy love triangles, shocking twists and dazzlingly interwoven night-time soap suds? Unfortunately, True Blood is on hiatus. So let’s forget about all that and just watch this. Oh, by the way, I figured out how they’re coming up with the seemingly random titles for these episodes. They’re L.A. [...]

This week America’s Best Dance Crew decides to rub salt in the open wound of Rhythm City’s elimination by not only showing it again, but adding a clip of Alonzo backstage after the decision, wondering what they did wrong. Maybe next time you should just fuck your girlfriend on stage. America seems to like that.   [...]

This week on 90210, Kelly’s back, Jen’s not and EmoAnnie’s spine grows 3 inches in a day! In other news, Mones gets jury duty. Rejoices over not having to go to work. Cause I still get paid suckas!

Remember last week when I said that everyone needed a fashion intervention except for Trace because he only owned a pair of jeans and a white shirt? Well, I was wrong. So very wrong.

OK folks. So here’s what’s gonna happen. It’s premier night of Dancing With The Stars. I know nothing of dance and have barely ever watched the show. Why am I recapping it then? Because it’s easier than self-mutilation. Let’s see who’s dancing tonight shall we? The night the Republican comeback stalled.

Life is funny sometimes. When I want to engage in self-abuse, I lock all the doors and make sure the drapes are closed. When TV wants to give itself a massive three hour handjob, they book a block of prime time on CBS. Oh, and they have musical numbers. Well so do I, but I [...]

No one can tear their eyes away. This week on Models of the Runway nothing much happens. Shocking, I know.

Tonight, on Survivor: I’M NOT WATCHING LYDIA AND NATALIE ANYMORE! YESSSS! Also, some attention-loving jerk burns a few things.

Greetings, Gasmii! We’re back for yet another season of The Biggest Loser! This is my first time watching the series, and I couldn’t be more delighted. Already these folks are the biggest thing in my life. Join me as we embark on the two hour premiere!

Hi Gasmii– It’s another action-crammed episode of RHOA, with special emphasis on how selfish Kim is, how talented Kandi is, and how insecure NeNe is. There’s blood, sweat and tears. There’s a pop song hook that gets stuck in your brain and keeps repeating itself when you’re trying to write your Melrose Place blog for [...]