POSTS TAGGED: spoof

Hello peeplets! This week is a special week on Bad Girls Club. The Ambers take over! Doo doo doo doo doo doo!

Last week we learned that Kris and Amanda should never procreate, Tammy needs to buy a Garmin so she can beat Victor in the head with it and being old doesn’t mean you can’t be a contender on the race – just that you can’t win it. Ladies and Gentlemen, it’s AMAZING RACE! Teams start [...]

Welcome back to the Real World Brooklyn. Today begins with a bummer. Katelynn’s bank account is overdrawn again. Volunteer work is great and all, she tells us, but she’s post-op. She needs cash. Sarah’s advice is to “hug it out”. “Hug it out?” Katelynn asks her, confused. What, no Entourage in cow country? The ears [...]

Hi guys. Me again with another installment of this craptacular show known as Keeping up With The Kardashians! Let’s jump right in and see if Bruce’s face has slid off his neck yet. Oh and Kourt gets her first cover for a magazine. Why anyone wants this photo is beyond me. Maybe it’s for Dead [...]

Tonight, on Survivor: dentists throughout the world cringe.

Okay, so here’s the deal: I have company coming to stay in less than two hours, and I only just got off of work. So, I’m going to try a first for me – getting this thing written in under an hour. And that includes getting it posted. Because I don’t know if you guys [...]

Fee, Fi, Fo, Fum – I smell the scent of a backstabbing Dum…In further news, Patty nearly made me wet myself from fear (again) Goodbye, Van Peebles (code name Dee). We hardly knew ye. Tell Uncle Pete we said “hey.”

This week on I Love Money 2, the episode is awesome! Who’da thunkit?

This week on Hell’s Kitchen, JP wonders who he pissed off in production, a boy becomes a man, and the thirty second rule gets put to the test. It’s mine, all mine!

Dear Gasmi, This week JZ and Brad make a pitch for their own gay sitcom; Bethenny gets to play covergirl; Ramona rocks a bikini; Silex floats in a backyard pool of denial; and the Count-ass earns her title. Whoopsi, I forgot Kelly. Well on the TV she’s still meh, but in real life… Holy Cow!! [...]

Pageant mentors are as important to pageants as big red noses are to clowns. You just have to have one. And this pageant has a big one and he knows who he is. I am the big red nose on this clown of a pageant. This week we are treated to more of Michael Galanes’ [...]

   Greetings Gasmii! This week, ’24′ has the remedy for whatever ails you. Bored? Well, how about a bunch of shit blowing up and people getting shot left and right? Confused? Maybe a little back-story tonic and future relationship foreshadowing will do the trick? Tired of the Sangala plot line? Well how about an in-depth [...]

Tonight on Desperate Housewives: Orson develops what is supposed to be a bad habit, but it’s mostly just lame and ridiculous; Gabby wonders whether lying about Brad’s affair is worth having shiny things; Susan and Katherine fight over a crappy painting as she and Mike move in together; and Tom and Lynette vie for the [...]

Hey there, hi there, ho there, fashion-fans! I’m so happy to be once again sitting here in the dark at my PC and watching impossibly thin and beautiful women bitch and cry at each other (most likely out of ravenous hunger) and knowing that in a few minutes I’ll be polishing off the better part [...]

Let me set the scene for y’all: Dim lights. The soft clink of silver and china. The back of a bunch of books, featuring a pic of the tweedy author. A fancy banquet-hall dinner. The author himself, even tweedier in person, about to attempt a speech.    What my hair looked like in high school. He [...]

Hi there Gasmi! It’s me Cherie. Don’t know who I am? Yeah well me neither. When Flipit asked if I wanted to do this show I was hesitant, after all, I do have standards. Turns out very LOW standards so here I is! Welcome to my version of Keeping Up With The Kardashians.

Welcome back to the only way to traverse every state fair ground east of the Mississippi, the Rock Of Love Bus! This week, we have a challenge, a drunken night out, a spicy bitchfight, a solo date and more! We have a lot to get to. No time for panties. You don’t need them where [...]

This week on Making the Band, we learn that no one is safe from the failing economy. And that Diddy’s Trickle Down Economics never quite seem to trickle down to those who work for him. But at least the show is no longer trying to pretend like Shannon is still a member of Danity Kane. [...]

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Cootchie cootchie kook Here we go again. First of all, I was raised to beleive that talent should be rewarded and failure was something you learned from, not the other way around. That is why this episode made me question the judging even more than last week. Not that the gal I’m referring to here [...]

Welcome back to the Real World Brooklyn, where everyone dreams big, and the camera crews following them around make that seem like a good plan. No! You don’t look like a epileptic at all! Keep dancing!

Well, not really. We open this episode of Toddlers & Tiaras with pageant director Aimee Adkins telling us that the girls in this “Southern Celebrity Pageant” being held in Kentucky compete full-glitz and all-natural. That sounds fair. “We’re trying to make dreams come true one crown at a time,” she says. How about one health [...]

This week, on Survivor: Jalapao does me a solid. Thanks, guys!

This week’s episode opens with Ray J, The Cowardly Lion and the Mute waking up on the floor together. I guess this show’s budget was eaten up by Tool Academy. Even that cast gets to share an actual bed with their girlfriend once in a while. Oh well, any episode that opens like this has [...]

This week on I Love Money 2, Prancer goes down in history! Okay, maybe not, but that doesn’t mean we can’t quote Rudolph anyway.

This week on Lost, Sawyer gets in touch with his inner softy, Juliet learns how to fix a carburetor, Dick Alpert demands some justice, and the love quadrangle rears its ugly head yet again.

Mystery, intrigue and long-awaited for make-out sessions. Plus karaoke, Damages-style! Won’t be anything left!

This week, American Idol is not satisfied with monopolizing the air waves during its eighteen thousand hours of scheduled time and bleeds its bloated ass into my show. This. Is Hell’s Kitchen, dammit. Get off my TV NOW Please!!!!

Welcome back all you fiercelings! I finished that last recap at 5am and had to get some sleep. I dreamt about an army of big-eyed, tacky-nailed, constantly-crying, super-bitchy skeletons who were chasing me all over The Forum Shops while shouting random insults at my hammer-toed feet and trying to stab me with pickle pens so [...]

Dear Gasmi, I don’t know what it is about these women, but they definitely bring out my decadent side. I’ve got Ben and Jerry’s cookie dough ice cream swimming in Bailey’s with a mound of whipped cream on top. I’m guessing that none of those ingredients are in Bethenny’s Naturally Thin book, and you know [...]

   Greetings Gasmii! Sorry for the delay in getting this recap into your hot little hands…but it was a BEAST of a 2 hour episode and life got in my way a little this week. Luckily, things are sorted out on my end, which is less than I can say for President Taylor, who learns [...]

Seriously, Brothers and Sisters? You seriously promised me a birth and a death in this super special two-hour movie event, and then no one fucking died? Not Saul or even stupid Tommy. No one. Guh. And now I’m sick, so if I seem a bit more cranky than usual, blame the stupid promo monkeys at [...]

Tonight on The Shitty: Whit-Whit has a horrible week: first she gets screwed over by Olivia at work, then she doesn’t get screwed at all from Jay when she gets home, because Jay may or may not be screwing someone else, whose name rhymes with Banielle. That’s pretty much the ep, although Allie moves in [...]

Welcome back onboard the Rock of Love Bus! Got your pasties and tube socks? Sounds crazy, but trust me, it’s the perfect ensemble for tonight’s installment. This was one of the best Rock of Loves ever. Top Heif

Tonight on American Idol, dreams are stamped out at twice the speed! I’ll still take your credit card number, honey. Don’t cry. BUY.

Hey-Ho to all of you Tyra-ites! This is J-Mo, and I’m here to serve as your faithful acolyte as we once again become devotees at the Altar Of Stick-Thin Bitches Who Never Eat. Yes, it’s time for Cycle Twelve of America’s Next Top Model…, where 2 Tic-Tacs and a Marlboro Light is considered “lunch”, where [...]

Welcome to the reunion!! The show’s over, but there’s plenty of drama to be talked out. Hoser and Possible Stalker Leah made out, Possible Stalker Leah and Hoser made out, and two fugfugs totally made out. Excited? Me too. Andy Cohen: Bobblehead

Ugly Betty opens with Betty trying to get a picture of herself for her Facebook page. She can’t seem to get a good one, go figure. She’s trying to get it uploaded before her next YETI class (I’m over typing the periods between the letters), and I’m just wondering how this program is going for [...]

America’s Sweetheart Wow, where to start with the latest installation of The Bachelor? Tonight Jason Mesnick blew up in America’s face and left grody little pieces of himself all over our TV screens. Let’s get started.

Little Miss Perfect is a new reality show about children’s beauty pageants. I know, I know I hear the groans. But really Gasmii, we can’t only write about well behaved mature men like those on “Confessions of a Teen Idol” we need to explore the outer limits of the human psyche. The outer limits includes [...]