POSTS TAGGED: spoof

Last week, we got a glimpse into the world of a Viagra popper and the people who have to love him.  We witnessed him in his natural habitat:  expensive phallic hotdogs, a tra-flashy wardrobe, and blunt mating rituals.  Can’t have a show about the abuses of Viagra without knowing the antivenom–LuAnn’s caterwauling while waxing.  Yes, [...]

This week, we will find out if Jeffy made a huge mistake by going down the tubes or if we’ll be rid of Kevin and his terrible attempt at hiding his bald spot.  Mike thinks Jeff deserves to go home, because he was cocky enough to put himself into Limbo.  Andrea was basically telling us [...]

This episode is making me hungry.

Welcome back to the Real Housewives of New York.  This week, the pressure is on for Cool Cat Carole to finish her new book.  Unfortunately, no time for writing now, though, because she needs to start packing for Miami.  What does dress for Kobe hotdog casual mean, exactly?   Carole and Sonja leave New York [...]

( This week on Dear TvGasm we check in with the judges coming and going on American Idol) Well, whatever happens, we know that you can’t spell American Idol without Tink    Dear TvGasm, It’s like this zembomb daboody! Love the gig, but I’ve got to go back on the road. The millions of fans [...]

This show will get booted from CBS faster than HoHo did. Previously on Big Brother, a gay guy beat a lesbian at hockey, … Don’t move. …male pattern baldness beat a gay guy, … and a nerd beat…well, Ian didn’t beat anyone at anything. He did, however, go down on a bear. The show has [...]

I’m so sorry for the delay on this recap, my dear Gasmii.  I’m out of my meds (because I’m stupid and missed my appt) and going through withdrawal, so I feel like a giant bag of flaming shit. We start out this episode with Stephanie pointing out that the house now has more wiener than [...]

Previously on Big Brother, the gay guy had There’s Something About Mary sperm bangs, a hot hairless Redneck got all violent with pork rinds, and white trash got dipped in cheese. Cheese n’ Crackers I love the eviction episodes for the same reason I love going home to Texas: I don’t feel quite as homely [...]

Last week, the Great White Grin swam in from London with her shiver of sharks and celebrated Aviva’s fifth anniversary with a pinot-soaked chum fest courtesy of Sonja in the City.  In a season sorely lacking in drama, watching Pleather’s gnashing smile chasing Ramona around the room was like a gory ray of sunshine that [...]

We start off with Rima, Erika, Blondie and Christina rehashing the events of the night before. Erika tells us that she and the 3 afore mentioned skanks are WINNERS and that Mobama, Falen and Julie are PABs. Punk ass bitches. Erika asks Blondie if she’s gonna turn into a PAB and she says yes. Because [...]

The St. Thomas wildlife strikes back against their houseguests.

Ramona is anxious to get the London low-down, so she invites everyone to get together–except Heather and LuAnn.  Ramona had her sights set on trashing Pleather, but when Carole is asked for the juicy parts, Princess Carole couldn’t get past the one-upping of the lowly Countess.  Sonja tossed another trash bag of the Countess into [...]

Previously on Big Brother: Dan showed off a large collection of Jesus-y shirts, Janelle wore a jacket made of our razor blades in case slimy ass Boogie tried to hug her, and Willie tried to lead a revolution against, well, he didn’t know, exactly. The important thing is that he called a meeting and yelled [...]

20% Dancer Decrease

Ok so it’s week 2 and I haven’t quite got these bitches names down so stick with me here. As we left off last week, Char2.0 and Rima were fighting because Char2.0 said Rima was a dirty non bath taking bitch. The fight continues and no security steps in AT ALL and it only ends [...]

From the mouths of idiots.

It is probably time to start a lingo death watch as Pleather continues on her path of destruction.  Holla!  So, to bring us up to date, so far, she has killed Holla!, “ie”, and Yo!  Three down, and plenty more to go.  Let’s get back to the Golden Girls in London, shall we. Last week’s [...]

Hello, Gasmii.  It’s another episode of the show that no one watches.  Now that Big Brother has started, I’m thinking I could fill this recap with a dissertation on the mating habits of the legendary basilisks and no one would notice. Last week, Team Friends sent Kevin down the tubes with Ashley.  I’m sure no [...]

With Pleather’s Yummie commitments finally behind her, she is free to enjoy London with the ladies.  First on the agenda is a croquet outing arranged by Sonja.  Sleep deprivation, combined with Countess Pumpkin’s continuous one-upping, and the stage is set for a royal showdown. Dahling, you do know that I invented croquet, don’t you?   [...]

First week of competition!!

I want your love, and to make my face bleed.

A teaching moment for all.

We’re back to the Glass House where Jeff is bawling.  He’s not crying over Erica going down the tubes.  He’s crying over the fact that the other team voted against equality.  Oh Jeff, that’s not the issue here and this isn’t Political House.  It’s a silly TV show.  What I really like is that he’s [...]

Welcome to BGC Season 9. As this next picture explains, we are here………. Please don’t tell me vampires are gonna be on the show. Cut to a girl on the phone who’s clearly disgusted with everyone. Her Mom’s advice is to be mature and don’t do anything stupid. In comes the other girls. The weave [...]

In part one of the Real Housewives of Orange County Season 7 Reunion, Alexis is afraid of old people, Heather is nice to clerks, and Vicki protects someone from getting gang banged.    To get the funniest quotes from TVgasm recaps as they’re posted, follow us on Twitter. You can post your favorite lines right back [...]

Last week, it was down to the wire if Ramona would be invited to London.  After a hilarious failed fashion makeover and throwing Aviva under the bus, it looks like the bus doors slammed in Ramona’s face and she will be cooling her heels at home with Aviva’s cool heel.  Damn!  They could have put [...]

Sonja, Carole, and LuAnn arrive in London, while Ramona and Aviva stay behind in New York.  Heather arrived earlier to start the Yummie Convention–that’s right, the fucking Yummie Commie Con! You can call me The Countess, but my friends call me THE Countess.   Back in New York, Aviva brings Ramona along for some shoe [...]

Helping Emily find the best fake relationship

… and she won’t stop until Trey understands that, DAMMIT!

Heather and Aviva rendezvous at the infamous park bench to chit chat about stuff.  There’s not much for the squirrels and vagrants to see in this episode of As the Park Bench Turns.  No shiny shellac nails or blackmail this time around.  I’m a drool, I mean, a cool girl, right?   Aviva tells Heather [...]

Down the tubes went Ali P and Holly last week.  The housemates gather up to see who comes back up those tubes.  Jeffrey sees Ali P as dumb, transparent strategy and Holly as a liar and says he doesn’t need either of them.  Neither do we, Jeffy.  Neither do we. Kevin and Mike are chatting [...]

The theme running through this week’s episode is Aviva trying to get Ramona invited to London.  Cut it out, Aviva!  We need the drama. The countess visits an acupuncturist in her search to conceive a baby.  Acupuncture, yes.  Bedroom, NO! Oh, how romantic.  Can I smoke when we’re done?   Meanwhile, we learn more about [...]

(This week Dear TvGasm answers questions from some of the characters on the HBO show True Blood)   Dear TvGasm, I’m having a problem with a friend. Now the back story might take some time, but it helps to understand my problem.  Okay, awhile back I got kind of friendly with this guy who works [...]

Twenty-seventh time’s the charm?

Tamra has tearless evil eyes.

Plus bonus ringers!

Last week on Glass House, we met the players and got to learn the process of the game.  Unfortunately, we had to deal with a whole lotta Alex “Prime Time 99″ Stein.  As the most hated in the house, he went down the tubes with Jacob, the guy with way too much energy and false [...]

The Real Housewives, in their own words

This week’s episode opens with Ramona inviting Carole and Aviva to lunch so that Ramona can discuss Heather dissing her by not inviting her to London.  Carole has a great suggestion that they hold a “talking intervention” since Heather is a big ole blabbermouth.  Do you guys see that elephant over there?   Meanwhile, LuAnn [...]

Sabotaging Heather’s homage to herself.