POSTS TAGGED: sugarbush

Yes, kids, the apocalypse is upon us.  Breaking Amish has returned for a second season.  This also means that TLC doesn’t give a single fuck that everyone is onto their complete lack of any legitimacy in their “reality” programming. This episode is quite boring due to the fact that we’re busy catching up on their [...]

  After such a huge scandal and revelations that the show was a giant pile of bull, TLC has brought back Breaking Amish.  We now have a tag Brave New World to add to that title, which apparently means that they’re just making this show the Jersey Shore for the Amish.  Next year, they’ll head [...]

It’s time to say goodbye to our favorite f****ed-up parents.  All problems will be resolved in a charming, mature, and loveable way.  Maci and Ryan will stop being immature and fighting about custody in front of Bentley.  Amber will stop popping pills and flying off the handle while Gary will go on a strict diet [...]

Previously on Teen Mom, Farrah is a nutjob and a crappy mom, Maci and Ryan are idiots, and Gary and Amber are terrible parents.  I’m sure none of this will change over the course of the final two episodes.  I could be wrong, but I’m never wrong soooo… Maci and Kyle talk about their birthday [...]

It is the final episode of the first (and very possibly last) season of The Glass House.  We wade through a montage of the season so far.  In the bathroom, Jeffy tells Erica about Kevin’s “lady friend” in Toledo and wonders if Kevin has mentioned this to her.  It’s a bed buddy, so I’m not [...]

It’s the season finale of Mob Wives: Chicago, this should prove to be exciting.  But, it absolutely doesn’t. The Bobbsey twins are hanging out at Renee’s apartment to discuss the “chat” with Nora and Pia.  Pia claims that Nora is not a thought in her mind anymore.  Oh, does that mean that she’s not going [...]

Previously on Teen Mom, Farrah can’t handle being a mom, Maci and Kyle made a terrible decision, Butch blamed April for his jail time, and Gary is still a dick. Debra, the abusive mother, is watching Sophia while Daniel takes Farrah to Austin.  Farrah whines that she misses Sophia and thinks the month without her [...]

Jeffy tells us that his heart broke when Erica started crying.  Oh please, you sent her down there.  He’s all crocodile-tearing over having his best friend also be his biggest competition.  Mike is mocking Jeffy and the fact that he’s kinda’ all alone in the house now.  Kevin asks Mike if he was the only [...]

It’s the morning of the Breast Cancer Walk and Leah is waiting for the girls to show up.  Renee and Pia are there first and I’m very happy to see Renee there.  I would have to hate her if she didn’t come just because of Nora.  C-Wow and Nora are running late and show up [...]

If I could base my psychic abilities on my Teen Mom predictions, I would be vying for my own reality show called The Snarky Psychic.  We begin with Maci and Kyle making one of the stupidest mistakes of their lives.  They are signing the closing papers.  It’s really sweet when Maci tells Bentley they’re getting [...]

A housemate-created music video of some song I’ve never heard introduces this episode.  It was probably better than the real video.  Gene and Kevin seemed to be the only ones who didn’t know the song, which makes sense since they’re the only straight males in the house at the moment. Last week, Joy and Andrea [...]

We start out with confrontation time between Giana and Renee.  Giana says that each of her parents have two completely different stories about her childhood and her father’s involvement in it.  Renee says she never once called the cops when Giana’s father showed up to see her.  Instead, her father never tried to show up [...]

Last week on Teen Mom, Farrah met another victim guy, Amber was sprung from rehab, Cate pondered going to college, and Ryan and his family were angry about preschool. Because Farrah had such a great time on her horseback riding date, she takes Sophia for a ride on a horsey.  It’s really cute and I’m [...]

This week, we will find out if Jeffy made a huge mistake by going down the tubes or if we’ll be rid of Kevin and his terrible attempt at hiding his bald spot.  Mike thinks Jeff deserves to go home, because he was cocky enough to put himself into Limbo.  Andrea was basically telling us [...]

Welcome to the latest installment of the semi-connected women of Mob Wives Chicago! We find out that the charity event of this season will be the breast cancer walk in honor of Leah’s mom.  At least this is legitimate and not some random charity where the drama can reach its peak.  I mean, the drama [...]

I’m so sorry for the delay on this recap, my dear Gasmii.  I’m out of my meds (because I’m stupid and missed my appt) and going through withdrawal, so I feel like a giant bag of flaming shit. We start out this episode with Stephanie pointing out that the house now has more wiener than [...]

I am so happy to announce that this week, Leah’s hair looks the best it’s ever looked on the “live” footage.  I’m a huge fan of curly hair and love to see someone embrace their natural curls and allow their curls to realize their full potential.  We rehash the fight from last week and I [...]

DirecTV and Viacom have settled, so I get to have my Teen Mom back on my boob tube.  It’s just not the same watching these dipshits on a small, non-HD screen.  It just doesn’t capture the idiocy as well. Because Farrah and Ashley think Debra is the most horrible, abusive mother on the planet, Farrah [...]

For the first time in six years, Farrah, Ashley, and Debra will be under the same roof.  This should prove to be great.  Kyle still doesn’t have a job, so Maci uses this as an excuse to not put Bentley in preschool.  You know, because it’s healthier for Bentley to be taken care of by [...]

Hello, Gasmii.  It’s another episode of the show that no one watches.  Now that Big Brother has started, I’m thinking I could fill this recap with a dissertation on the mating habits of the legendary basilisks and no one would notice. Last week, Team Friends sent Kevin down the tubes with Ashley.  I’m sure no [...]

The Viacom and DirecTV fiasco will not keep me down, y’all!  I had to buy this episode from iTunes, so it had better be good.  I want my $2.99 worth.  Anyway, if you have DirecTV and didn’t get to see this episode, I’ve got it all right here.  Taking the bullet for the rest of [...]

Hey kids!  It’s been a while, but we’re back with a new episode of Teen Mom.  I know y’all can’t wait to hear Farrah’s grating voice and look at Maci’s Proactiv-sponsored face. WARNING:  MTV is taking it’s sweet time getting the videos up, so I’m having to scrounge for pics.  The pics aren’t legit, but [...]

We’re back to the Glass House where Jeff is bawling.  He’s not crying over Erica going down the tubes.  He’s crying over the fact that the other team voted against equality.  Oh Jeff, that’s not the issue here and this isn’t Political House.  It’s a silly TV show.  What I really like is that he’s [...]

At Nora’s apartment, Nora and Pia discuss the most recent bar fight.  Nora still avoids letting Pia know what she said about Renee’s custody battle.  She’s only got one friend left, so I guess that’s a good idea.  So, she tells Pia that she took a swing at Renee and then said, “I swing at [...]

Down the tubes went Ali P and Holly last week.  The housemates gather up to see who comes back up those tubes.  Jeffrey sees Ali P as dumb, transparent strategy and Holly as a liar and says he doesn’t need either of them.  Neither do we, Jeffy.  Neither do we. Kevin and Mike are chatting [...]

 This week brings us more screwed up American colloquialisms and sleepy drama.  I warn you, if you haven’t watched this episode, it was incredibly boring up until the last 5 minutes. We start out with Renee, Nora, and Julie.  Hopefully, Julie isn’t wearing one of Renee’s tops she loaned Nora or else the shit’s gonna [...]

In Florida, Maci is sitting out on the balcony dressed up like Michael Jackson, spying on Ryan and Dalis.  Ryan and his friend Tyler are speculating as to why Maci decided to stowaway on their trip.  Apparently, Maci had texted Ryan and told him he’d have more fun with her down there than he would [...]

Last week on Glass House, we met the players and got to learn the process of the game.  Unfortunately, we had to deal with a whole lotta Alex “Prime Time 99″ Stein.  As the most hated in the house, he went down the tubes with Jacob, the guy with way too much energy and false [...]

Last week on Loosely-Connected Women of Chicago, FACEBOOK UNFRIENDING became the Mob Wives Chicago THE CHRISTENING and Renee had a straight-up breakdown over the possible custody loss of her youngest daughter (which had me feeling bad for her until this episode). Leah and Christina meet up for coffee.  Christina tells Leah that she met up [...]

Last week on Teen Mom, Catelynn and Tyler have their 2nd year visit, Amber hopes to see Leah, Maci is annoying, and Farrah is still a nasty bitch. Catelynn and Tyler get their caps and gowns in and try them on.  Poor Catelynn still hasn’t changed her ‘do and it’s bigger than ever.  Bless her [...]

All righty, Gasmii!  It is our very first episode of the already drama-filled Glass House.  Be prepared, as there are many things by which to annoy you encased in this clever house of glass. First we meet Alex and Andrea.  Alex is a douchebag with way too many teeth.  He calls himself Alex “Prime Time [...]

This episode of Teen Mom has solidified Maci’s bitchiness.  Ryan and his family are supposed to have Bentley for a full week while they go on vacation, but Maci foils those plans by inviting herself and her gaggle of friends along for the ride.  Kyle doesn’t care if Maci goes there, because he’s busy going [...]

Hold onto your seats, Gasmii! We’ve got a house full of 14 annoying stereotypes on a show that seems to be a combination of Big Brother, Solitary 1.0/2.0/3.0, and The Jetsons.  I love Solitary and The Jetsons, but have never watched one episode of Big Brother.  Hopefully I can handle an entire season of this. [...]

It’s the first episode of the final season of Teen Mom vanilla, y’all. I don’t know about you, but I’m very interested to see how these kids cope with actual reality once the MTV paychecks stop coming in. The season kicks off with Maci making a bigger deal out of preschool than necessary. Bentley needs [...]

The final season of Teen Mom vanilla has kicked off.  I know you’re all dealing with depression and grief over such a loss, but please bear with me.  Nothing has changed in the lives of Farrah, Maci, Amber, and Catelynn.  Farrah is still an ungrateful, slack-jawed bitch. Mom, why don’t you just hand me the [...]

We start this episode on a fanboat in the swamp. The girls don’t know it, but they’re meeting up with their guy and the guy’s dad. First up, Stephanie and John. Stephanie thinks John’s dad is the tour guide until she’s introduced. Next, we go to Danielle. She meets up with Corey and his dad. [...]

What up, y’all?! I’m new here and I’m filling in for Luscious the next two weeks on Tough Love: NO. This week the girls have to meet the parents. Of course, these things can’t be done without some sort of monkey wrench. The swamp trip with the dads comes with crabbin’, crawfishin’, and river rat [...]