POSTS TAGGED: summary

May a Boobs fall on your house.

Season finale time!

End of love.

Strap-ons and gaybo drama. Do NOT miss.

Ali finally chooses an hombre!

Who will go on the block?

It’s a delightful douche parade!

The big escape to Tahiti with the final 3 gents

Boobs makes her nominations.

The big “home” episode where Ali gets to not only lead on the boys, but their entire families as well!

It’s the 1st Eviction!

Ali figures out which 4 boys she wants to go home with – literally.

Who will be America’s Next Top Model?

Five remain in the struggle for irrelevance.

This week on America’s Next Top Model, Tyra teaches us how to make up words. I can do it too! Let’s see… I’m going to take “awful” “arrogant” and “hypocrite” and what do I get?! TYRA! “She’s a sucky person!”

****And now please welcome LOLO back to the fold!! WE MISSED YOU BABE! Well, I gotta hand it to Flipit. Only two things would have forced me out of recap retirement: giving me an outlet for my Tyra rage or making Jeff from BB my personal sex slave. Because Technotronics is still safely sequestered in [...]

This week: Salome works on a gut to match her ass Make Me A Supermodel is all about bare-assedness this week… too bad Gabe isn’t here. They do a nude photo shoot to showcase accessories and rock-hard abs, and then the models get back to their usual activity: bitching about each other. Jonathan has money [...]

This week on Gossip Girl, Chuck teaches us it’s never too early for a line of coke, Eric finally says to Jenny what we’ve all been dying to tell her, and we learn that Jenny and Dan’s relationship is WAY grosser than anything between Dan and Serena, half-sibling or not. As if we needed more [...]

Happy 2009 and welcome to the first Gossip Girl recap of the new year! I hope you all had a fabulous holiday, and are as excited as I am for our favorite shows to get back up and running! Nevermind Chuck. He’s still upset he didn’t get that pony he asked for.

Two weeks ago on Gossip Girl (heh… sorry bout that…), a pivotal event shakes our UESiders, giving us weddings, funerals, illegitimate children and declarations of love. I haven’t cried this much since the last time I stepped on a scale. “I should have told you to eat shit with that licorice ring and married the [...]

This week on Gossip Girl, the show finally returns to form as Blair and Chuck are at their best, Jenny and Vanessa finally have it out, and our predictions look like they’re coming true. Plus: Extra Dorota!

This week on Gossip Girl, Jenny and Bart compete for the title of Dumbest Person EVER while Chuck is a worthy runner up. Seriously, I haven’t seen this much stupidity outside an episode of Big Brother in a long time. This isn’t so scandalous when it’s more clothing than she normally wears, anyway.

We’re back – fresh from a non-elimination round and a world record for TV episode containing the most uses of the word “babe”! Ladies and Gentlemen – it’s AMAZING RACE! 6 teams are left and Nick and Starr are out of the gate first. The first clue – head to Deshbandhu Apartments for their next [...]

This week on Gossip Girl, we focus on Jenny for the second week in a row in this filler episode that hopefully is just setting things up for better plots to come. J Humphrey Designs. Call 917-VERY-FUG.

This week on Gossip Girl, Jenny’s mullet takes center stage as she befriends Mini Coop, shoots daggers of hatred at Eleanor through her raccoon eyes, and trades being molested by one creepily older dude for another. “Welcome to the NYC, bitch!”

This week on Gossip Girl, we have to deal with a lot of Vanessa, but the payoff makes it more than worth it. Plus, Dan is surprisingly likable and I get the recap posted at reasonable speed. All together now, Chair ‘shippers: “EEEEK!”

This week on Gossip Girl, a trip to Yale gives us catfights, secret societies, and a half-naked Penn Badgley. Not a bad week, friends, not a bad week. “Blake, Leighton, I said cut! CUT! Oh god, here they go again… Hair and makeup, stand by.”

So I know I totally dropped the ball on these I Want to Work for Diddy recaps. Sorry bout that. But since this week was the finale — and since Gossip Girl was a rerun, giving me more free time — I thought a final recap was in order. So who actually will work for [...]

Hey everyone! Your regularly scheduled America’s Next Top Model recapper, Hoolia, is out kicking ass interviewing for jobs that actually pay, so I’ll be subbing in for her this week. I’ll do my best to live up to the quality you expect from her, so without further ado, let’s bring on the vapidness! “Honk honk! [...]

This week on Gossip Girl, new friendships emerge, old friendships splinter apart, and Dan is one God-awful writer. I dare you to read this without wanting to stab yourself in the eye.

Well guys, since it’s already Sunday night and there’s a new episode on tomorrow night, this week’s extremely late Gossip Girl recap’s going to be dedicated to Hazel — it’s a midget recap. Blair needs to really reconsider her “O” face.

This week on Gossip Girl, Nate takes on a part-time job, a new love trapezoid develops, and Serena & Dan unintentionally demonstrate the need for Lysol disinfectant wipes. Oh and this: “Hey Big Daddy…”

This week on I Want to Work for Diddy, the teams have to create Diddy-themed viral videos, reminding us why the best viral videos are accidentally and fortuitously captured, and not written by a bunch of “Apprentice” rejects. If Grimace and the Hamburglar had a love child…

This week on I Want To Work For Diddy, Diddy tries to convince us that navigating a forest with just a compass and a protractor has something to do with being his personal assistant — while yet again refusing to make a personal appearance. Plus: bigotry, stupidity, and obesity. Try to match that, Trump! Here’s [...]

“Where’s my assistant? I need someone to unzip my fly so I can take a leak.” Hellllllo Gasmii! It feels so good to be back after 2 months of self-imposed recapping exile, and to be returning to a show as ripe for mockery as I Want to Work for Diddy. I love Diddy — he’s [...]

This week on Top Chef, Daddy Tom’s face says it all: “Wake me up if something interesting happens…”

This is it guys — the Top Chef finale! Who will win it all? Will it be quietly arrogant Richard, lover of puns, fauxhawks and molecular gastronomy? Will it be fan favorite Yoda, who has overcome her often-horriffic Quick Fire showings with class, poise and the most Elimination Challenge high finishes? Or will it be [...]