POSTS TAGGED: the countess

Last week, the ladies were primping and preparing for the long-awaited trip to St. Barths.  Ramona launched her red wine, and Pleather had a couple of heated exchanges with cast mates.  Let’s see what the housewives are up to this week. The plane ride to St Barths triggers memories of the loss of Carole’s friends, [...]

Last week’s episode kicked off the holiday season in New York with plenty of boozy get-togethers, attempts to put wine-gate to rest, and a new holiday classic.  I’m curious if your opinions are changing about individual housewives.  Yes, no, maybe? Carole opens this week’s episode with a white elephant holiday party.  Everyone draws a number, [...]

This week’s episode opens with a white elephant holiday party hosted by Carole.  Pleather and Lu meet the Hornysaurus for the first time, and he does not disappoint.  Every gift is sex-related as seen through George’s glasses.  Even an iguana can’t escape the clitoral treatment. I think I’ll play with this little guy in private. [...]

Welcome back to another week of The Real Housewives of New York.  Last week, George and Sonja finally met in Miami, but it was more fizzle than fireworks.  Ramona wore out her welcome at the Drescher household, and LuAnn probably won’t be asking to borrow gowns from one of Carole’s friends again.  It isn’t much [...]

Last week, we got a glimpse into the world of a Viagra popper and the people who have to love him.  We witnessed him in his natural habitat:  expensive phallic hotdogs, a tra-flashy wardrobe, and blunt mating rituals.  Can’t have a show about the abuses of Viagra without knowing the antivenom–LuAnn’s caterwauling while waxing.  Yes, [...]

Welcome back to the Real Housewives of New York.  This week, the pressure is on for Cool Cat Carole to finish her new book.  Unfortunately, no time for writing now, though, because she needs to start packing for Miami.  What does dress for Kobe hotdog casual mean, exactly?   Carole and Sonja leave New York [...]

It is probably time to start a lingo death watch as Pleather continues on her path of destruction.  Holla!  So, to bring us up to date, so far, she has killed Holla!, “ie”, and Yo!  Three down, and plenty more to go.  Let’s get back to the Golden Girls in London, shall we. Last week’s [...]

With Pleather’s Yummie commitments finally behind her, she is free to enjoy London with the ladies.  First on the agenda is a croquet outing arranged by Sonja.  Sleep deprivation, combined with Countess Pumpkin’s continuous one-upping, and the stage is set for a royal showdown. Dahling, you do know that I invented croquet, don’t you?   [...]

Last week, it was down to the wire if Ramona would be invited to London.  After a hilarious failed fashion makeover and throwing Aviva under the bus, it looks like the bus doors slammed in Ramona’s face and she will be cooling her heels at home with Aviva’s cool heel.  Damn!  They could have put [...]

Sonja, Carole, and LuAnn arrive in London, while Ramona and Aviva stay behind in New York.  Heather arrived earlier to start the Yummie Convention–that’s right, the fucking Yummie Commie Con! You can call me The Countess, but my friends call me THE Countess.   Back in New York, Aviva brings Ramona along for some shoe [...]

Heather and Aviva rendezvous at the infamous park bench to chit chat about stuff.  There’s not much for the squirrels and vagrants to see in this episode of As the Park Bench Turns.  No shiny shellac nails or blackmail this time around.  I’m a drool, I mean, a cool girl, right?   Aviva tells Heather [...]

The theme running through this week’s episode is Aviva trying to get Ramona invited to London.  Cut it out, Aviva!  We need the drama. The countess visits an acupuncturist in her search to conceive a baby.  Acupuncture, yes.  Bedroom, NO! Oh, how romantic.  Can I smoke when we’re done?   Meanwhile, we learn more about [...]

Last week, Ramona and LuAnn agreed to a truce and all of the ladies seemed to be getting along quite well.  Damn, the party’s not getting started until someone throws a folding chair. Carole meets up with Aviva, Heather, and Sonja for some light bites and cocktails.  While Aviva has stayed above the drama so [...]

The Countess Luann deLesseps sang her single on KTLA (Local L.A. morning news), and it’s the worst thing I’ve ever seen. It’s like she’s doing karaoke trannyoke.  She’s ridiculous! So many questions: What is that dance move she’s doing?  Is she reading a teleprompter?  And, where is she packing her penis? This is a must watch:

I’m speechless.  I’m officially convinced the Countess is a Tranny.  Unbelievable.  I don’t even know what to say to this: