POSTS TAGGED: tlc

This week on Bullshit Amish, we pick up where we left off last week with some guy named Mike who is a proud redneck and wants to beat up the disgusting Jeremiah who porked his girl.  Jeremiah claims that it’s all OK, because the girl had broken up with Mike before they slept together.  How [...]

Last week on Breaking Amish, Sabrina got into a white trash battle royale with Jeremiah’s on-again/off-again girlfriend, Kim.  We resume right here with Kate, Sabrina, and Kim yelling at each other about respect.  Sabrina goes all over dramatic by calling 911 to come and get Kim, because the cops don’t have more important things to [...]

The sun sets on the majestic town of Savannah, Georgia.  Darkness descends on the looming ropes of Spanish moss.  Beautiful buildings watch over the quiet city streets where a trolly full of ex-Amish ghost hunters snakes through the dark.   Guess whose idea this was?  That’s right, Gasmii.  Our resident greaseball pervert, Jeremiah.  The ghost [...]

Today on Breaking Amish we learn that these five kids have the IQ of a Cheeto, Sabrina has a gland problem that makes her cry incessantly, and Jeremiah has chlamydia. OK, so that’s all speculation, but I think I’m pretty right on.  The RV trip resumes in Savannah where over 50 years of civil rights [...]

The episode opens with a knock at Abe and Rebecca’s door.  Rebecca opens it only to cuss the person out and slam the door.  Turns out its Abe’s pervy brother you may remember from last season.  You know, the one who looks like he’s constantly thinking about naked women.  He’s been telling everyone in the [...]

Yes, kids, the apocalypse is upon us.  Breaking Amish has returned for a second season.  This also means that TLC doesn’t give a single fuck that everyone is onto their complete lack of any legitimacy in their “reality” programming. This episode is quite boring due to the fact that we’re busy catching up on their [...]

  After such a huge scandal and revelations that the show was a giant pile of bull, TLC has brought back Breaking Amish.  We now have a tag Brave New World to add to that title, which apparently means that they’re just making this show the Jersey Shore for the Amish.  Next year, they’ll head [...]

Child hoarders!

Pretty sure their marriage will still be longer than Kim Kardashian’s.

She’s multi-lingual…well, in dubbing.

We are at the Season Finale of Cheer Perfection. I can’t believe the 8 weeks are already over. The Youth Silver Team is practicing for the competition in Columbus, Ohio next week. If they make it in the top three, they will get a bid for U.S. Finals. No one thinks the team is ready. [...]

We start out with memories of the big wins for the Fab 5 last weekend in Chicago. This week they start at practice to work towards getting to Nationals in Ohio. They are going to have a big dress rehearsal at the end of the week. But before we start, thanks to @April, every time [...]

This episode was actually fun for me. After what’s been a pretty lousy week, it was so fun to see the Senior Gray Team. Those dads ROCKED!!! Some of the moms did too… some of them just needed to shut up.  Also, Cassadee and Cambree fight like sisters do. They are competitive, but sheesh, they’re [...]

We pick up at Michelle’s birthday party. Shannon is still yelling at Ann. Andrea is still drinking. Andrea’s husband is doing the same.  A-A-A-A-CCCHHHHOOOO!!!  Um, can we get a moist towelette?  Can we get another round? Ann tells everyone that she doesn’t care that she’s a btch. She thinks all they do is think about [...]

This week on Cheer Perfection… Alisha cries because the moms are crazy. Shannon has the audacity to have Ann’s name in her mouth. Torrann doesn’t make the Fab 5 and Ann loses her marbles. RD’s soul patch seems thicker and curlier. Alana has to practice her handspring on a bathmat. Andrea becomes the Parent President. Michelle was [...]

We start out this week as we always do… Alisha is all about making the routine harder so they can get more points. Last week they did great, but they scored low on their dance routine, so they are going to up the dance part and redo it. Andrea says that the new dance will [...]

I’m almost done with the full recap, minus the pictures… so it will be up early(ish) tomorrow. This week, Ann has a stick up her ass, while her daughter is simply full of sht. They solve it by fighting, scratching and biting each other. We almost see a cow run two laps, but she calls [...]

Another show chock full of great moms and even greater daughters. And by great, I mean tragic and by greater, I mean holy sht these girls need to make some life changes.  Sometimes it’s not easy to dislike everyone equally. Other times it is. This week the Youth Tan Silver Team is preparing to go to [...]

You know how a few of us have said we wished we could see more of the kids? Well, I DIDN’T MEAN THE CRAPPY ONES! I’m working on the full recap, but I’m also watching my 3 year old nephew… and let’s just say one of us needs a nap. The other one is him. [...]

Am I the only one that walks around their house screaming, “If you fall again, I will replace you”? Because I find myself saying it to my dogs and daughter… a lot.  This week on Cheer Perfection, Alisha starts by explaining what a stunt is, since we haven’t seen a good one yet. Olivia is [...]

Logan leaves, Kody’s hair threatens to leave, and Meri continues to be insufferable. But they’re all happy, doncha know.

The family faces a double loss, and later yammers on endlessly about how great their lives are.

We’re back Gasmii, and so is CTR. Alisha interviews about the tragic performance of the Youth Silver at the baseball game last week. She has decided to host an invitational of 13 teams to come be judged by each other. 5 of the teams are the same level as Youth Silver (so, sucky?) and the [...]

The Browns visit their spiritual home.

The Browns visit Nauvoo and hear a shocking new fact.

THIS MOM SCREAMS “CHEERLEADER”! And we’re back in Sherwood, Arkansas. I am having NO LUCK finding Cheer Perfection online, so I have limited images available. If I can’t find the show online by next week, I will take to using my camera and taking pictures of the episode. I LOVE pictures, so this is painful [...]

This initial premiere was my “audition” for TVgasm… This was the teaser premiere for Cheer Perfection that ran back in July 2012. I am working on last night’s episode now.  ————————————————————————————- I am new to recapping, although I have been recapping through email and texts to my friends for the past two years. After I [...]

Always wear Depends around Meri.

Can we just keep them in Vegas?

Some wins, some losses. You know, like in Vegas.

Bad Girls Club for the 40 year olds.

The Browns learn something. Sort of.

The Sister Wives Afterschool Special.

The Browns come up wanting. Again.

Browns v Dargers. Guess who comes out on top?

Last time, on Breaking Amish, everyone dramatically returned to their homes, knowing that they would be shunned (and were already). This week, I was ripped off, because I thought it was the final episode.  Oh noooo, it’s not.  They are going to make us endure a 2-hour finale next week.  We begin with Jeremiah giving [...]

  This week on Breaking Amish, everything is explained in clear, sense-making detail! Hahahahaha!!!  Juuuuuuust kidding!! I may actually be more confused this week than I have been in previous weeks.  This show is like the Benjamin Button of reality TV.  I now know less about these people than I did when watching the premier.   [...]

We come back right where we left off with Kate in the stairwell freaking out to some Hannibal Lecter piano music.  The producers finally tell us that there’s no evidence to support Sabrina’s claims.  That’s nice.  Then why would you ask Kate the questions you asked her last week?  Oh, I guess that it wasn’t [...]

This episode is a trip into reality TV mindf*&^ery.  We begin with Jeremiah jumping all over the chance to spring the top secret envelope of DUI docs on Kate in front of Abe and Rebecca.  He loves that he can prove that Kate is a hypocrite.  When Rebecca asks Kate if you get arrested when [...]

The title of this episode is What is Really Happening?.  Unfortunately, this is a total misnomer as we are no closer to the truth of this series than we were last week. So, due to the scandals of this supposed reality show, I’ve done some research.  We can definitely explain away the language and behavior [...]