POSTS TAGGED: toddlers and tiaras

They are kids, not candy. We head to Indianapolis for the “Circle City Stars & Cars” pageant that includes something we haven’t seen in awhile – a boy! Two moms are pretty good, low-key, usually don’t compete in high-glitz and don’t take it too seriously (kind of a mistake), and love their kids. It’s the [...]

Interview with a pageant vampire.

Hey Gasmii, we meet some new kids this week and overall they were pretty good kids, we did have an odd bird with one who has a rockin’ religious mother.  And you know how I love it when people thank God and Jesus for making things happen for pageant girls.  Ironically, this happens to be [...]

Showdown!

She’s a stah!

Hello Gasmii! The premier of Toddlers & Tiaras does not disappoint – except a couple of mothers! This episode focused on our frenemies Makenzie and Eden Wood and how they are EXPLODING onto the Hollywood scene. Well, not really, they just both got trips to Hollywood to be on Entertainment Tonight. No wonder Mary Hart [...]

Clear Eyes, Full Hearts Can’t Lose!

Rodeo Princess pageant in Bridgeport, West Virginia! Yee-ha!

Groovy girls take the stage

Mardi Gras pageant held in Darien, Georgia.

Mr Todd brings us Fancy Faces!

Texas beauty

Mini caps of Toddlers and Tiaras and Celebrity Rehab

Looking at last night’s tv.

Winter Beauty pageant in Center, Texas

We’re back South where pageants belong!

Mini caps of Toddlers and Tiaras, Work of Art, Top Chef, Real World and SYTYCD Real World: VirginiaApple Two episodes in and I am already LOVING this season. The main reason for this love is that while Hair is still annoying to no end, the rest of the roomies are totally chill and have already [...]

Miss Margie is back and badasser than ever!

Mini caps of Top Chef, Work of Art, Toddlers and Tiaras, SYTYCD

Mini recaps of SYTYCD, Top Chef, Toddlers and Tiaras, and Work of Art

Monday Funday and your links are served hot.

Pageant director luxuriates in stolen money.

Toddlers & Tiaras is back with a vengeance, people! The glitz! The glamour! The obnoxiously bratty kids who make me want to get my tubes tied! Stephanie Sims, Pageant Director for the Little Miss Glitz pageant tells us it’s not your run-of-the-mill county fair pageant. “You’ll see everything from eyelashes to flippers, hair to the [...]

This episode of Toddlers & Tiaras takes place in Sin City, Las Vegas, where we are joining the Universal Miss and Master International pageant. Unlike other pageants, this is a four-day marathon of glitz, glamour, and more than occasional whining. You need the whole package plus reinforcements as this is a marathon, not a sprint. [...]

Aloha Gasmii! This luau of Toddlers & Tiaras comes straight from Honolulu, Hawaii, host of the “America’s Fabulous Faces” beauty pageant. Pageant Director Marcy Stoehr, code name for “Sally Struthers,” is the co-director of the pageant. Clearly the other co-director knew better than to be on camera. The pageant has been around 13 years, but [...]

Hello Gasmii, welcome back to another episode of Toddlers & Tiaras! This episode takes us to the Miss Tiny USA (please let it be for fat kids!) in the fine city of Laurel, Mississippi. Damn, I’m going to be singing that M-I-S-S-I-S-S-I-P-P-I song through this whole recap! Pageant Director Darla Bailey, the second wife of [...]

This week’s Toddlers & Tiaras brings us back to the heart of our country, West Virginia for the YEEE-HAAA! Outlaws Pageant, sponsored by Taze-Her, the only taser made specifically for pageant competitors, a Trump Product. And guess who’s coming to dinner? Debbie Moss, grandmother of Kailee with two E’s from a couple of episodes ago, [...]

Back for more, are ya? After last week’s total and complete El Niño shitstorm of comments, we need to make a fresh start this week. Let’s agree to disagree: Some people believe that pageants are cost-effective hobbies that are enjoyable for the entire family, while others believe the machinery of pageantry is oiled with the [...]

This week’s Toddlers & Tiaras is the “Beautiful Dolls” pageant in Lafayette, North Carolina and Gasmii, the crazy is BACK! We open this episode with Pageant Director Britney Barlow, a dead-ringer for brunette and bobbed Jodie Foster, telling us she started the pageant so that every child could leave the pageant “feeling like a winner.” [...]

This week on Toddlers & Tiaras we shift gears (and coasts) to the California Gold Coast Pageant. Pageant Director Kim Colby is a director who FINALLY looks glam like a pageant director should. The pageant was started 35 years ago and just included babies and children, and as we’ll find out this year includes fetuses [...]

This week’s Toddlers & Tiaras is being hosted at the Bradley International Airport Sheridan hotel in Hartford, Connecticut, so you know it’s a quality event because they are offering fast getaway options. Cheryl Powers, this week’s pageant director and wallflower du episode, says that the “America’s Regal Gems” pageant is “my glitz pageant.” Stingy much? [...]

In the words of my hero Stewie Griffith, dammit to the bowels of bottomless hell! I don’t like recapping pageants that happen in West Virginia. Those people are usually really nice and not crazy at all, which makes it harder to make fun of them. Not impossible, just harder. Seriously, YOU’RE in charge of a [...]

Gasmii, this show NEVER gets old. After last week’s complete and total smackdown of a mom, this week we’re back to an A-1 Steak Sauce brat and a set of prizes I can assure you the ASCPA would not approve of. We open this week’s episode in Lafayette, Louisiana at the Queen and Kings of [...]

Gasmii! Toddlers & Tiaras is back with a vengeance as is Crabby’s irritation with the world at large, mostly the drivers in front of her on the way home. It’s called the passing lane, not pissing time away lane. I do apologize for the pictures – that damn show still isn’t on iTunes or Amazon [...]

Hello Gasmii! If you’ve been watching, and judging by the comments you have, you know most of our Toddlers & Tiaras have been south and west…Pennsylvania is as close as we’ve gotten to New England. But not this week, where the insanity of parading your child around like one of those 25-cent ridey-things (horse, boat, [...]

“Pageants can be very addictive. Once you start winning, there’s no turning back,” says one mother on this episode of Toddlers & Tiaras. Just like meth! We begin this episode deep in the heart of one of my favorite states, TEXAS! Hey, any place that has such a high regard for guns and the death [...]

Welcome to the Stars of Pennsylvania Pageant, located in Pittsburgh, for this week’s Toddlers & Tiaras. Not only are there enough trophies, ribbons and tiaras to go around for everyone attending, there may be extras from those contestants who couldn’t make it due it to Old Man Winter. He’s such a bastard! I don’t even [...]

Gasmii, I never get tired of Toddlers & Tiaras even though it’s sort of the same one each week. It’s like two parts cute kids with dimples, one part spoiled brat, and more than a pinch of crazy parent. Huge and sparkly, just like I like ‘em!

Well, not really. We open this episode of Toddlers & Tiaras with pageant director Aimee Adkins telling us that the girls in this “Southern Celebrity Pageant” being held in Kentucky compete full-glitz and all-natural. That sounds fair. “We’re trying to make dreams come true one crown at a time,” she says. How about one health [...]

Gasmii, what can I say? This week’s Toddlers & Tiara’s pageant is the Chitlin’ Strut and I actually had to pay $2 to download this heinousness from iTunes to get some pictures for you, that is just how much I love you. What they don’t picture are the actual chitlins, which according to Wikipedia are [...]