POSTS TAGGED: TV

***Please welcome your newest recapper to the fold, VirginiaApple! Hola, Gasmii! In the spirit of this year’s Real World theme (that would be “CHANGE” in case any of you live in a vacuum), I am here as a brand new recapper to bring you the Real World: Despite Jersey Shore, not all hope for the [...]

86 Hours Ago… This guy was much handsomer. The first question I have is, why 86? Are they trying to come up with their own Lostian mysterious numbers? 86 is a good choice, since we’re 86 Nathan now and might be 86 Heroes before much longer. It’s also roughly the number of hours behind I [...]

On tonight’s American Idol, Skara learns that sometimes the crazy ones CAN actually sing, we all learn that dental care in America is not as good as we thought it was, and I learn that Tink used to be a chubby little dork??!!!   LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL 

Hello my fellow addicts. Are you ready for another trip to the Bad Girls Club? Here we go!

The Decieved Welcome back to The Bachelor, Season 1,400 “It’s Got To Work Sometime!” Or as ABC would rather call it, “On the Wings of Love.” I assumed that was a song, but wasn’t familiar with it, so tonight’s episode presented me with an exciting treat, how about you? Of course, the only thing worth [...]

Tonight, on the season premier of American Idol, all sorts of diseases get golden tickets and Mo’Nique finds out she was nominated for an Oscar.

It’s been two whole months since we last saw a decent Irina death scene, and I know you’re all pleased as punch to be back here. This season of Project Runway doesn’t have a title, so I’m going to give it one to make me feel better about last time: “Season 7: Oops, Our Bad [...]

Fresh to death. So where did we leave off last time on Jersey Shore? Oh yes, Vinny was rolling around on the hood of someone’s car with this girl, Tonya, who had apparently been on a date with Boss Danny earlier in the evening. Vinny has taken this idea and run wild with it, talking [...]

Welcome back to the first 2010 episode of Ugly Betty! For those of you playing at home, it’s now on Wednesday at 10pm because networks executives are trying to kill this show. We open with a dentist blowing Betty – no, seriously, he’s blowing air at Betty and she’s loving it. No, wait, it’s Dr. [...]

“Complimentary rose service begins after takeoff.” Hey, do you guys remember JAKE from Jillian’s season of The Bachelorette? He was that airline pilot who was totally intense, fell in love in one date, came back after being kicked off to tattle-tell on Wes for having a girlfriend, then had a tearful hissy fit over a [...]

This week on The Real World, Dorkus gets shot down but picks himself up and gets himself a fug to lay, BiGuy makes out with boys and girls, and Blondie makes out with a pantry full of food. God Bless America. Inside voice.

Happy New Year Gasmi! I hope everyone has sobered up by now. On second thought, just in case this recap sux, bottoms up! If ya need another excuse to drink, here it is. This is Bad Girls Club!

All I have to say about the Real World is it’s like the Mafia. Once you’re in, you can never get out. And at the end of the day, why would you want to?

“We’re like, blood sistas now!” SO! We’ve had two entire weeks to digest the big black screen that represented Snooki getting her lights punched out by a total pig. This week on Jersey Shore we are promised much roomie bonding in the aftermath of said punch. Let’s see what they’ve got.

On this year’s Tournament of Roses Parade, Hannah Storm behaves inappropriately with a puppy and scares children. Mommy that puppy’s crying!

Hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas/whatever holiday you celebrate. Mine was great. Except for all the relatives. Since Bad Girls is a repeat this week I thought I’d hold off on this recap until tonight. (That’s my story and I’m 60% sure it’s true) Let’s go review what happened last week on Bad Girls Club! [...]

What? We’re superstars! This week, more delusion in that the four Jackson brothers actually think they’re worth something. It’s sort of comical seeing them put together Michael tributes that fail and crack totally unfunny jokes, but on the other hand, I want to stab my television screen with a fork as I watch. Also, Jermaine [...]

Remember the time I got really busy with the holidays and posted the finale of The Biggest Loser really late? But because you all love me so much, you weren’t upset? Yeah, sorry ’bout that! Can I appease you with a hot pic of Danny who is looking really fly these days? Is it wrong [...]

MTV does not condone this type of garbage, okay? What time is it you ask? It’s time to HIT the Jersey Shore!

But slacking is! The Jack5sons: to show you that Michael wasn’t the only fucked up one in the family. Also, to capitalize on their brother’s death. Yeah, it must be tough riding on the coattails of your far more talented brother’s success, boys. In this season and series premier, we see what Tito, Jermaine, Jackie [...]

First and foremost, babies ruin everything but especially television shows. From Cousin Oliver on The Brady Bunch, to Albert on Little House on the Prairie, to Murphy Brown and her ancient egg fertilization, we all know it. So it is with some trepidation that I watched this episode of Ugly Betty with the double pregnancy [...]

Dearest Gasmii– Bitches in da house again, yo!!! Of course I’m talking about myself. Bravo is trying to squeeze a few more drops of ratings milk from this show’s saggy, ashy teat, so let’s see how many people I can offend in one last blog! Before I “lose another fan” (and BTW, I consider a [...]

Previously, oops, did I spell that wronged? Fuck it. Don’t care. In the last episode of Bad Girls Club Batshitalie tried to be the L.A. running alpha ho but ended up spending the night in a hotel because she smacked Kendra in the tater. Let’s take a peek and see what’s what this week!

Hi Gasmii– First, thanks to Msjaqmills, bingo boy and uglycutiefor their very flattering and enjoyable comments last week. God bless you for reading and keep ‘em coming! When The CW gives you lemons, all you can do is make spiteful, derisive recaps lemonade. This show needs a major transfusion of twisted, but let’s dispense with [...]

Tonight, on Survivor: it’s two episodes in one! Also, people finally figure out that it might be a good thing to get rid of Russell at some point.

“Just try to resist all this. Impossible!” It’s time to head back to the Jersey Shore to check in on the trashiest group of jerks on TV! Reading through all of your comments this last week made me giggle really hard and think about a bunch of stuff. I also have to say that the [...]

It is with sadness and regret that I announce…that I had to watch For the Love of Ray J. Last season wasn’t exactly brimming with talent and entertainment but I felt a little invested in what was going on. This time, not so much. I can only hope that Ray J decides to send home [...]

This week on Styl’d, Jen almost beats the shit out of Tara. I said almost. As in, almost Emmy worthy. Come on, Styl’d!! MAKE AN EFFORT!! When Male Pattern Baldness Attacks

This is it kids! The big finale! We’ve learned so much this season: never be a vegan on this show if you wanna make it past the start line, buying a $5 passport-holder might be worth it to win a million dollars, there’s nothing deadlier than a waterslide (especially if you’re dating someone willing to [...]

Look Gasmii, I have a job. A really important job. An advertising job. That’s why this recap is late. So, without further ado, please enjoy my gift to you, the last recap of 90210 of ’09… Sorry, I didn’t have time to wrap it…

Hello sweeties! It’s episode two of Crazy Bitches Gone Wild or as Oxygen insists on calling it Bad Girls Club. It seems we have a special person amongst the group who really thinks she “runs L.A.” Let’s jump on in to Batalie’s head and see what storms are brewing this week! Looks to me like [...]

This week on The Biggest Loser, our remaining four contestants ran a full 26.2-mile marathon. Without training properly. And without any of the cheering fans and drink stops that would be present during a normal race. It’s something that would put ANY normal human being into instant cardiac arrest. I’m about to call Flabulous People [...]

I’m not sure what’s worse, seeing Ugly Betty in a bathing suit or faking us out with a sepia-toned opening in a 1920s unitard once known as a “bathing suit.” Really, it’s a toss-up. Betty is pitching an idea about a feature on the first woman to wear a bathing suit with accompanying photos of [...]

“I knew these would pay off!” Jersey Shore, The Premiere continues. So where were we? Ah yes, Snooki has been pouting in her bed and no one really noticed, which means she’s not getting enough attention and therefore wants to go home and forget the whole thing. If you ask me, packing her crap is [...]

I could barely sit down to watch this week’s episode. This season has been such a letdown but I’m going to stick it out since this is my duty. Some people fight wars; I watch bad reality TV. This week’s episode picks up where the last one left off. Heartbreaker is lamenting the fact that [...]

I’m so sorry for the late recap, Gasmii! I’m still watching Jersey Shore over and over and over again. Thank heaven for the DVR and the pause button. I can’t get enough of watching that tanned dwarf getting punched in the head. Does that make me a bad person? Here’s a tip: Don’t tell a [...]

“Here we are! Who wants an STD?” Greetings beloved readers! I am back after a very brief hiatus to take a good look at the latest pile of trash masquerading as a documentary that MTV has seen fit to present – Jersey Shore.

Hey Gasmii. My sincerest apologies for the late recap. Most of the year I’m surfing the web at work and working on my recap but unfortunately we’ve come to one of the two months a year when I actually earn my paycheck. I’m tired, hungry and cranky but as God as my witness, I’ll get [...]

“It appears Wilhelmina Slater has been struck blind by the fashion gods,” Suzuki St. Pierre says as we open this episode of Ugly Betty. And has she ever! We see her getting out of a cab wearing sweats, a ball cap, and multi-colored crocs. Sweet Jesus, kill me now, you can’t even see her cleavage [...]

This week on the season finale of The Shitty: It took 9 whole episodes, but The City finally gets interesting. As interesting as this show can get, at least. And what makes this episode awesome? Awkward confrontations! Between Roxy and Kelly, and Olivia, Joe, and Erin! Yes, these people finally get to hash things out. [...]