POSTS TAGGED: TV

This week on Desperate Housewives: Susan finally finds out about Bree, so you can check that off your list. Lynette sues Carlos over her job and it all ends up bitch-slapping her back in the face. Danny tries to kill himself Bell Jar style. Katherine jumps over the edge of sanity so far that I [...]

It’s that time of year again kiddies! Bright colorful lights, red noses, silver wrist jewelry. Christmas you say? Nah, it’s time for the Bad Girls Club! Let’s see who gets snockered, arrested or generally injured in the mayhem that is the best show on tv!

On a very special For the Love of Ray J, the girls have to style and direct Ray J in a Sean John photo shoot. The first eleven minutes of the episode are very Adorable-centric so either she’s going to be the winner or she’s going home. She’s one of the more attractive girls so [...]

Last week we learned that when you “candle-a-bra” you get “elimin-a-ted” and that someone’s gonna get their ass beat this episode! WHY?! Because it’s Amazing Race and somebody’s gotta get whooped! Teams start out in the marshes of Estonia where we left them and we see Team Master Race get the first clue – fly [...]

Can you believe this season’s ending?!?! It seems like it’s only been running for ten years. Craziness! We open with a big glitter graphic spelling out ONE. LAST. CHANCE. And then they put this pic up. OK that’s just rude, you guys.

Welcome to the holidays, y’all! I think the last couple of weeks of November are my favorite time of the year for TV. Sweeps are almost over, and the Super Dramatic Action Episodes give way to the lets-just-have-fun-cuz-no-ones-watching episodes. It’s like dessert after the big meal. If the preview is any indication, this week’s episode [...]

This week on The Biggest Loser, we are down to our final six! And the presence of one happy, fashion-forward man makes up for all the pain I have that Liz is still with us. Ahhh! A vision in grey!

Guess who LOVES winning! Well here we are after just having watched Irina be crowned the winner of Project Runway Season 6. Before her parents even came onstage crying everyone knew that this means Kalyn also wins for accidentally ending up as Irina’s final model – her “muse model” as it were.

Finale time, everyone! Forget Edward and Jacob — are you Team BEN or Team Laura? Or Team Wet Bikini Orgy?

What part of the world are we off to investigate tonight, based on only the narrowest of clues? Will it be a game of bridge or Duck, Duck, Goose that tonight decides the fate of the world? And will suicide again prove to be the answer? Find out on another episode of FlashForward!

Tonight two more dancers are cut from the competition, Nigel decides to lecture US on the definition of America’s Favorite Dancer, and we visit the best museum ever!  Doncha just love culture?  This! Is So You Think You Can Dance (dance……..dance)!

Hola, Gasmii! For all of you who were kind enough to share the origin of why Johnny Bananas is called Johnny Bananas in last week’s comments, I thank you. And curse you, just a little bit. It’s yet another image I will have to have surgically scraped from my frontal lobe. Speaking of douchebags, I [...]

This week we learn that Lava is psycho, Just Right is boring, one of the girls smashed a homie (again) and the producers of the show always highlight the women who will be eliminated at the top of the show. Who smashed a homie you ask? I’ll give you one hint: It’s the celibate one. [...]

Tonight, on the Project Runway Season 6 Finale, bangs lose.

Welcome back to Amazing Race everyone! The leg begins where we left off – Stockholm! Phil reminds us it’s the birthplace of ABBA. OMG if they had an ABBA challenge that’d be AWESOME! Team BroMos would nail it.

On this falsely advertised as Betty-goes-bad-girl episode of Ugly Betty, we’re begin our day at Casa de Nobody Works during breakfast. Betty comes into the dining room as Hilda woo-oohs that Betty got home late – at 10:30pm. I have to admit, I’m usually in bed before then, so it does sound late. Betty says [...]

This is what a no-carb diet and PMS looks like This Hills episode, an extra dose of FUCKING APESHIT. Broahday, Kristin and Jayde all schedule lunchley meet and greets and get all up in each others’ businesses. And, HBUD STILL wants a baby, and will stop at NOTHING to get what her hormonal, surgery-laden 23 [...]

This week on 90210, Jazz-Hands creeps out Harry and Becky, Matthews looks greasier than ever and both Naomi and Borianna are discovered to be lying jerks. In other news, the writers throw caution to the wind and just kinda ignore anything that happened in the original show. Peace out, Jackie. I guess, I didn’t know [...]

Dear Gasmii, My sincerest apologies for posting this recap of The Biggest Loser so late. You see, I had the flu over the weekend. So I was already experiencing enough intestinal grief without adding this show to the mix. Forgive me? If not, then Jillian will kill you.

This week on Desperate Housewives: Susan does a little comm-serve time for, you know, shooting her neighbor (not that Katherine didn’t deserve it, because we all know she TOTALLY did); Angie finds out Bree’s secret; Gabby is still. Trying. To get. Juanita. Back in school. Please, Cherry, let’s just end that soon, mmkay? And Lynette [...]

And some who are younger than the models! Moments before… the three Project Runway finalists received the non-surprise that they will have to design a 13th look for their collections at the very last minute! Our Models of the Runway – Delta, Cheetos and Kalyn – all react like they just saw a soap bubble [...]

Apologies for the delays, Gasmii. I was working on my “A game” and “visualizing” my recap and perfecting my “air quotes”. And trying to scrape my brain to eliminate this image:

In the first three minutes of this week’s show, Trouble is drinking before noon, Extra is on a manhunt trying to figure out who left cornflakes in the sink and then she reads the bible. “I wonder how this book ends…”

That’s my “bite your dick off” face. This week on The Hills, Kristin hones her man huntin’ by courting Brody and his plastic surgery mishap of a mother. Jayde and Kristin have a quasi-fight at the kids’ favorite hangout, Playhouse and Spencer doesn’t know about the human body, or the logistics of a vasectomy! Ooops! [...]

This week on Project Runway, Minnesota erases half his face, Carol Hannah barfs and talks super slowly, and Irina turns her dog into a hooker coat. I hope you die. You too. Copycat. You are.

This week on Dancing With The Stars: the final five “stars” get down to business with two dances each. Apparently, their business involves shiny plastic vaginas.

This week on Heroes: all the people who took last week off are back. Last week: Hiro and HRG and Samuel and Sylar. This week: Claire and Peter… and HRG and Samuel and Sylar. Never mind. I thought I had something there but I guess not. Maybe it’ll come back to me. Let us return [...]

Hi Gasmii– Well, its official– the drama generated by my Real Housewives of Atlanta recap artistry is way juicier than 98% of what’s going on at Melrose Place. I don’t wanna bore you with THAT recap, so let’s just say feelings were hurt, threats were made, and whiny little bitches were out in full force. [...]

Hello Gasmii, welcome to another recap of Ugly Betty, formerly known as Circling the Drain. The writers have once again pulled out a pretty good episode and I am thrilled to be able to rip it apart. Let’s let it rip! The ears are coming from inside the office!

This week on 90210, Borianna abuses, Annie loses and Dixon and Liam compete for the title of most annoying character. Which means it’s not Annie for once. In other news, Mones questions the existence of God. Writing this bad can only be the work of one man.

This week of Grey’s Anatomy, annoyed the shit out of me. Last week’s episode, they focused solely on one case in hopes that we would have some type of emotional connection to him, despite knowing nothing about it. Once again Grey’s, A+ on character development. So this week…they take the easy way out, by still [...]

Hello gorgeous dolls, I am here to catch you up on the Lamaii! I blame E! for not doing this sooner – they’re sort of turned their channel into a Kardash fest, and I for one could not find that family more dull (except Kim, everyone loves Kim). E!’s backing the wrong show, and there’s [...]

He-aaaay, Hoes! No, I’m not talking to you, Gasmii. What you do on your own time is your own damn business. I’m talking about the klassy ladies of Orange County- Crackie, Wretched Gretchen, Slurry McFuzzybrains, Mama Jeana and hot (only if you ignore the age spots and the gawd awful personality) housewife Tamra Barney. We’ll [...]

This week on The Biggest Loser, some fat people get really patriotic. Sadly, this doesn’t include them draping their naked bodies in an American flag. Atlas Shrugged

We’re doing something different and rocking the Photocap this week, because I don’t want you guys to have to wait any longer to discuss what turned out to be a totally rad episode. So, here goes!

“Who do I have to kill to prove I can walk!?” Moments before… Don Draper convinced Bert Cooper and Roger Sterling to buy back Sterling Cooper and start all over! I don’t know how I’m going to wait until next summer to see how this all plays out! And meanwhile Betty is off to Reno [...]

Hi Gasmii– I should really heed Kandi‘s words and “Fly Above” the nastiness of chickadee2586, who basically accused me of phoning in last week’s blog, but please allow me to emphasize the inherent difficulty of “recapping” a Reunion in which everyone gets along, refuses to go off on each other, and declines to answer any [...]

This week on America’s Next Top Model, I’m sad to report that no one drowns during an underwater photo shoot. “Oh, so THAT’S the difference between the labia majora and the labia minora! Thanks, Marisa Miller!”

With Wus finally gone, I was hoping the Champions would get their act together and finally force the goons to prove themselves in the Ruins but no such luck. Fortunately, and sorry to ruin the suspense, most of the scapegoats will be gone by the end of this episode and some of these guys are [...]

Tonight on Heroes, Charlie!! Um…you have something in your eye.