POSTS TAGGED: TV

“THIS is why you’ll never be a Model of the Runway.” Moments before… I was watching Mad Men and trying to guess what the episode might TRULY be about before I find out for reals on the interwebs tomorrow. I love that show, but every time I read commentary on it, I realize it’s way [...]

This week on The Biggest Loser, Shay runs her mouth so much, you’d think she had something important to say! Sadly, you’d be incorrect.

This week on America’s Next Top Model, the girls head off to Vegas where a fan favorite slips up a bit, and a dumb bitch thankfully goes home instead. “HAHA, BEN, you’ve got to be kidding me! For the last time, I do not have any weed!”

Greetings Gasmii, my apologies for how far behind I’ve fallen on recapping the actions of our favorite misfit gang of douchenozzles. After an incredibly busy week of everything that could possibly go wrong going wrong, and just when I was all caught up and ready to dole out some much-needed snark, I got smacked upside [...]

It’s coming down to the wire folks. Four Chefabes left. I think Ramsay only has a handful of veins left that he can burst without dying so let’s take a peek and see what the final four of Hell’s Kitchen are up to. I want me Mum!

This week on So You Think You Can Dance (dance……………..dance) we FINALLY get to Vegas. But first! One more stop on the audition tour: Salt Lake City. Cat tells us that the talent so far has been bigger and better than ever before. As we are told every single season. Except for season one. Obviously. [...]

This week on Project Runway, we celebrate Oktoberfest and Elvis waaaaaahs for forty minutes. Good times. It’s so haaaard!

“Ding dong! Asshat calling!” Oh, Pete. Pete Pete Pete. Not making it easy for me, are you? Let’s get this out of the way first: There is a huge “Pete is a creep” vs “Pete is a creepy rapist” debate raging on the intertubes. It is my opinion that we don’t have enough evidence to [...]

This week on Grey’s Anatomy, we kick off the episode with Meredith explaining how paranoia gets you to do crazy things. The kids of Seattle Grace know that a big staffing cut is coming and they are all trying to pretend they are invaluable. Granted, anyone who has watched this show before knows that is [...]

Previously on The Ruins: Wombat was a drunk, Wus was a maniac and Kellyanne was a slut and a whore. I think that pretty much covers it. Oh, wait, and Evan was an ass. A gentle reminder.

Esta semana en 90210, Mones is bored by everything and annoyed by everyone. In other news, Naomi is a money exchange away from becoming a total prostitute. No reason for this pic other than I wanted to remember that good shows, though canceled, do exist.

It’s a boring day at Jeff Lewis’ office. Let me tell you, Gasmii, if you have no interest in tile, you might just want to skip this recap because it’s all about tile. Wall tile, floor tile, pool tile and glass tile on shits. I kid you not. There’s a lot of chatter and not [...]

Tonight on FlashForward, the country continues to mourn Joe Biden. Nah, just kidding.

On this episode of So You Think You Can Dance (dance………dance), Nigel is away getting some honorary degree.  At the Pied Piper’s School of Music  Oh no!  How will they know who to put through to Vegas, or choreography without Nigel guiding them along?

This week on The Biggest Loser, we finally find our villain! Her best feature is that if she ever threatens to go all Hannibal Lecter, she probably means it. Join me after the jump!

Tonight, on Survivor: This face. Also, white supremacists everywhere weep.

“Mmm… models.” This week on Models of the Runway: Pumpkin pie.

Hey Hey Gasmii! The hot topic of the season has turned out to be how much of a twat NeNe has become, and if she has any right to be miffed that gold-diggity Wigger Kim yanked back her offer to let NeNe record with her on “Tardy For the Party”, the tasty pop confection Kandi [...]

When I heard about this show, I thought it would be couples at a dude ranch, riding and roping to win a date with a cute cowboy. I was wrong, very wrong. If Roy and Dale saw this show they would probably be spinning in their graves. Not the horses and dog though, they are [...]

This week on Project Runway, blue is the new fug. Nothing personal.

We all saw the previews. Marc Jacobs performs Beyonce’s “Single Ladies” and I know people were getting really excited for this but Joe Jonas already covered this shiz. That was cute but this is months later and I am not impressed. Instead of putting a ring on it, let’s put a lid on it. Thanks. [...]

Welcome back my Real Worlding and Road Ruling Gasmii! Here’s this week’s recap: Twenty eight cast members from previous seasons of the Real World and Road Rules contaminate Phuket, Thailand and compete in the newest Real World/Road Rules Challenge/Clusterfuck. Landon is not one of the cast members. The End. Seriously, MTV. I’m far too old [...]

This week on 90210, Borianna runs back into the loving arms of Drama, Jen outsmarts Liam and vice versa, and Dixon digs himself into a deeper hole. In other news, Jen finally bought chapstick…with Naomi’s money, of course. Heh.

Spencer contemplating his own cultural relevance This week, the Hills Pills are back for season six, with just as much (if not more) staged drama than ever before! Kristin Calivarri returns to steal Justy Bobby and drama ensues with Blahdrina Dead Eyes and Stefanie “Bulimia” Pratt. Heidi and Spence go house shopping and Frankie the [...]

Welcome back everyone! It’s time for the show that preaches worldly knowledge while its contestants practice worldly ignorance! I’m bBitz and I’m excited to be back for my 3rd season of this Emmy-award winning show! (Clearly because of my recaps.) Last season we learned that just because you’re deaf doesn’t mean you can’t win (well… [...]

Greetings, Gasmii! This week in our super late recap of The Biggest Loser, we discover that working as a team means you can do anything! We also discover that this show is two hours every week, which means no matter what, we’ll always have a large time.

Ok, one hour down, one to go! We start part two of Grey’s Anatomy on Day 20, of life after George and Meredith is still monologing about the stages of grief. And on Day 20, people are kind of taking it easy. We open to Lexie sitting in the room with a sleeping Seviche, Yang [...]

Welcome back to Grey’s Anatomy! Last season we ended things with a BANG, and that was just the sound George made when hit by the bus. Too soon? To quickly recap, at the end of last season Izzie was knocking on death’s door, which looked a lot like the Seattle Grace elevator, in her prom [...]

***This is Part 2 of the Heroes season premiere recap. Check out Part 1 here! *** We’re back for the second part of the premiere, this one titled Jump, Push, Fall. When we left for the break, Parkman was dreaming his giant kid was still a baby and kidnapped by Sylar in exchange for his [...]

“Ra’mon gave me lizard skin to make me a lizard for Ra’mon.” Moments before… it’s the same as always. The Models of the Runway whose designers are in the bottom two are quivering with fright.

Teams must decide when it’s most advantageous to go for it!

This week on America’s Next Top Model, the girls finally get catty and my friends can take a break from suicide watch as Tyra’s big yapper takes a backseat for once. Instead, we get an impromptu performance from The Supremes. “Stop! In the naaaaaame of Tyra!”

Tonight on Dancing With the Stars Results, the tanning machine in George Hamilton’s guest room is plugged back in and Kathy Ireland re-signs her deal with the devil. Come on in. Couldn’t be more painful than Kelsey’s new show.

***This is Part 1 of the 2-hour Heroes premiere. Part 2 will be along ASAP.*** OK, here’s the deal. I’ve been watching Heroes since Season 1, when it was awesome. BUT one writers’ strike later, the wheels pretty much came off. I recapped House last season, but Flipit let me jump over to Heroes (I’m [...]

This week on Project Runway, illegal alien human hybrids across Earth bowed their heads in shame and we found out what gives Gunn boners. My pants just got tighter in the crotch area.

Hola Gasmii– Who’s in the mood for steamy love triangles, shocking twists and dazzlingly interwoven night-time soap suds? Unfortunately, True Blood is on hiatus. So let’s forget about all that and just watch this. Oh, by the way, I figured out how they’re coming up with the seemingly random titles for these episodes. They’re L.A. [...]

This week America’s Best Dance Crew decides to rub salt in the open wound of Rhythm City’s elimination by not only showing it again, but adding a clip of Alonzo backstage after the decision, wondering what they did wrong. Maybe next time you should just fuck your girlfriend on stage. America seems to like that.   [...]

This week on 90210, Kelly’s back, Jen’s not and EmoAnnie’s spine grows 3 inches in a day! In other news, Mones gets jury duty. Rejoices over not having to go to work. Cause I still get paid suckas!

Remember last week when I said that everyone needed a fashion intervention except for Trace because he only owned a pair of jeans and a white shirt? Well, I was wrong. So very wrong.

OK folks. So here’s what’s gonna happen. It’s premier night of Dancing With The Stars. I know nothing of dance and have barely ever watched the show. Why am I recapping it then? Because it’s easier than self-mutilation. Let’s see who’s dancing tonight shall we? The night the Republican comeback stalled.