POSTS TAGGED: TV

This week on Top Chef, Rocco DiSpirito shows up. Thankfully, he’s not in sequins. She just had a taste of Rocco’s frozen food.

This week on the 96th episode of Desperate Housewives, Lynette gives Anne the boot, Katherine reveals her secret to Susan, Bree overdoses on the Tylenol PM, Carlos may get his sight back, and Dave does a bad, bad thing. That’s what you get for having that picture in your house in the first place.

This week on Heroes, Claire’s Pirate Mom hijacks a Yemeni cargo ship. ARGH!

Every other television series has a “clips” episode, so why shouldn’t Stylista? Well, for one, it was already so painful the first time that re-living certain scenes actually may cause itching, unexplained swelling of the head or neck (including face, lips, tongue or throat), wheezing, difficulty breathing or swallowing, fainting spells or decreased amount of [...]

The Class keeps getting Klassier here at Rock of Love: Charm School! This week, the ladies learn all about the fine art of lovin’ men…while lookin’ hideous. The girls get uglied up, go on speed dates with C list celebrities and shoot the shit in their ugly suits….and, of course, controversy reigns when the ladies [...]

Hey guys, is it next week already? I just woke up from a turkey coma, so I apologize for the severe tardiness of this recap. I got gravy all over the first draft, then it got tossed out with the Christmas decoration wrapping paper and I had to start all over. Excuses excuses, I know. [...]

Dear Gasmii, At long last, the one and only, Original Housewife docuwreck is back!!! And, this time the producers are doing it right. No more of these random non-blond, mail order type cougars for the cast. Nope, with the exception of Jeana, we’re going all blond and plastic. You can bet good money that carpets [...]

On this very special finale episode of ANTM, Tyra decides to give McKey a new signature pose. And that pose is called “The Hoolia” and it’s supposed to represent my thoughts, feelings, and emotions about this cycle. Give it your best shot, McKey! Only a 9.5 from the Russian judge? He’s so stingy.

This week’s Girls Next Door is filled with horses and, no, it’s not a Wilkinson family reunion. Hef and the girls head over to Kentucky to trash-out the Derby. How fitting that they go to a state that has the initials KY. Hate to break it to you Kendra, but your mom broke her leg [...]

Dear Crabby: What’s the difference between Y.E.T.I. and Yeti? Dear Couch: Lots of waxing and apparently affirmative action! Every time a bell rings, Betty jumps a little faster!

This week on Heroes, HRG goes all Mr. Miyagi on Claire, we learn that at ten years old, Hiro was officially retarded, and Sylar gets some ass. Hi there I’m calling to trade my one facial expression in for something, I dunno, hawter.

Thursday’s episode started out with Jeff Conway explaining to the Pasadena Police that, he is, “..in pain, and they won’t give me anything for it…” . I think he thought that he was in the Pasadena Medical Marijuana Clinic (be sure to visit the Cypress Hill gift shop in the adjacent lobby). Jeff wanted to [...]

Oh my God, you guys. The unthinkable has happened. “The Hills” this week…….. was awesome.

Well if anyone’s been wondering when Stylista would finally address the fact that Danielle looks a little different than everyone else, then we have gotten there. In other news, everyone else on the show is still annoying. Oh, and Megan still has a RAGING pimple! You’d think she would have spackled on some DermaBlend by [...]

This week on Grey’s Anatomy, we are welcomed by Meredith’s monologue discussing the common childhood fear of the dark. As a child, you are afraid of the dark because of the monsters and secrets it holds. As you get older, those fears change and become regret, loneliness, uncertainty and guilt. Yes, but also in the [...]

This week on Top Chef, Ariane’s a weenie. No, we don’t deserve you. Please shut your pie hole, lady.

Dear Gasmii, This week not only do we get to learn about Hugger John’s personal boundaries, we also get to see a real fight!! Finally, a toe-to-toe face ‘em and slug ‘em fight!! Well, at least until the fighters hit the ground, then not so much. Look ma, turtles can fight, too! You think I’m [...]

This week is all about truth. Truth for me usually meant an ass whooping when I was a kid. I never got money. “Just tell us the truth and we won’t be mad”. Liars! I told the truth and not only did my parents get mad, they got the fly swatter, belt, shoe whatever was [...]

Let’s just rename this show now: Dick Up Artist, anyone? This was the freeze frame we settled on to leave on the TV after the Pick Up Artist viewing party last Sunday, which means it’s no longer debatable: This is the gayest hour on television, people. Look at this love, this satisfaction. It’s a moving [...]

Aaaaah you guys! Semi-finals! Really, what they mean is, it’s the second to last week! Ayii! Exclamation point! In case you’ve been brain dead all season, the remaining couples are the powerhouse Brooke Burke and Derek, “rebels” Lance Bass and Lacey, spastic Cody Linley and Julianne (she’s back!) and my personal fave, Warren Sapp and [...]

This week on House: independence, metaphors and parallel plots, oh my. Which doctor is going to have an identity crisis, and does House like Cuddy more than he hates humanity in general? Better yet, will we see the return of Lucas? Follow the Jersey Turnpike, we’re off to see the Wizard of Princeton. I could [...]

This week on Girls Next Door we are blessed with part two of the two-part nationwide search for a 55th Anniversary Playmate, which brings even more skankified blondeness than part one. Not the least of which is the slightly (OK, totally) incestuous identical skankified blondeness crazyness! But let’s not get ahead of ourselves. Hey, combining [...]

This week on Heroes,

This week on Charm School, the girls give back to the community by starring in PSAs. Seriously. This is your brain on Charm School.

Welcome back everyone! Last week was quite a doozie – violent body painting, double crossing, and most importantly, the Divorcees were divorced once again by… the AMAZING RACE! I can only hope it keeps gettin’ better – which it must because sometimes Tina’s a super bitch. (Anyone? Xtina? Anyone?) Last week, Nick and Starr came [...]

Tonight on Desperate Housewives, Lynette finds out about Porter’s little accident; Julie comes back and Susan’s not so happy with her new boyfriend; Bree acts perfect; Ms. Hildebrand can’t take a hint. And fire! Fire! Either that, or Dave’s gonna do some magic.

“God, I’m exhausted of this nonsense.” This week’s episode of The Hills seemed like it should have aired two episodes ago, was fraught with truly awful vocal overdubs and even more plot-driving reaction shots than usual. A blonde trifecta is finally wedged into place at Casa deLC and some bullshit happens between the Aryan twins. [...]

Ah, Gasmii, don’t you just love technology? Especially the kind of technology that makes your computer crap out on you during the best, most interesting, most exciting (read: boozy) episode of ANTM this season? My apologies, kiddos. I’m gonna keep this week’s ep to a wee-cap because really, do you need me to hammer home [...]

All right guys, sorry I’m a little late on this recap. I was sleeping. No I wasn’t. I’m confusing myself with Gary Busey. I’ve got to stop doing that. Episode three led off with Busey not being able to get up for group session. Keep in mind, this is a man who has no job, [...]

Dear Crabby: What one accessory does every girl need to have? -Couch Ass Groove Dear Couch: A Red-Ryder carbine-action, two hundred shot Range Model air rifle with a compass in the stock and a thing which tells time. Ha! Just kidding. A semi-automatic with armor-piercing bullets, you know, for hunting.* *Hey folks – just as [...]

This week on Grey’s Anatomy, morning dawns with Izzie and Alex cuddled in bed. Izzie leaves Alex to sneak out and smell a sweater. So apparently Katherine Heigl is still being punished for the Emmy stuff. Across town, Torres smells the empty pillow next to her. Grey and McD test out the new human alarm [...]

This week on Heroes, we find out that Meredith was the most boring character even a year before all this started, Sylar used to read a lot of books and liked musicals, and that Mama Petrelli was, for a short time, a strong black woman. Dontchoo make me whoop yo ass, boy!

This week, Top Chef is baaaaaack! Finally, lesbian prisoners are given a shot!

Dear Gasmii, This week’s episode brings to light such challenging questions as why such a major douchebag as Frank Mir is even tolerated in life? Why isn’t Dave Kaplan confined to a safely padded room? And, when is this show going to come out of the closet? Fab Fighters coming to Bravo soon. Okay, so [...]

I don’t know about you guys, but it’s been a long 2 weeks with no House. It seems the country had better things to last Tuesday night. Not that an election night recap, especially if you were watching Fox, wouldn’t have been interesting. I was watching NBC myself, but by the 15th time they showed [...]

This week’s episode starts off with 50 on the rooftop. Where else would he be? He tells us that his life sucked ass growing up but he never let it stop him. One man’s abandoned building could be another man’s resort. Sorry 50 but that abandoned building called Camp Curtis ain’t no man’s resort. It’s [...]

This week’s Grey’s Anatomy hosts more dead people than Turner Classic Movies. The episode kicks off with Meredith, who is up late gabbing on the phone with her best gal pal about American Idol and Ryan Gosling. Her gal pal Yang keeps interrupting to discuss crazy dead mom’s journals. Apparently they are chocked full of [...]

Ding dong the Looch is gone! As I’m sure you can imagine, I’m thrilled. Everyone left is pretty good, huh? This should be an awesome show! Everyone has to do two dances ’cause things are getting INTENSE! While it’s basically Brooke’s trophy to lose, I think one bad week could knock her off at this [...]

Feels so right when we hug real tight. EEEeeeeeEEE! That’s me making dolphin noises I’m so excited that it’s that time again. Pick-up Artist time! Since I last spoke with you all I went to my hometown of Atlanta, unsuccessfully stalked the Housewives and lined up a party this weekend with Mystery and cast. It’s [...]

Hello everybody! I am soooo super-apologizing for the lateness of this recap, I was in Las Vegas this weekend with my sister and my “little” brother as we celebrated his 30th birthday (and by “celebrated” I mean “got intoxicated” and “ate insanely expensive meals” and “played our favorite people-watching game ‘Real Prostitute Or Just Super-Slutty [...]