POSTS TAGGED: TV

Feels so right when we hug real tight. EEEeeeeeEEE! That’s me making dolphin noises I’m so excited that it’s that time again. Pick-up Artist time! Since I last spoke with you all I went to my hometown of Atlanta, unsuccessfully stalked the Housewives and lined up a party this weekend with Mystery and cast. It’s [...]

Hello everybody! I am soooo super-apologizing for the lateness of this recap, I was in Las Vegas this weekend with my sister and my “little” brother as we celebrated his 30th birthday (and by “celebrated” I mean “got intoxicated” and “ate insanely expensive meals” and “played our favorite people-watching game ‘Real Prostitute Or Just Super-Slutty [...]

This week on Desperate Housewives, tension builds in the Scavo house as Tom and Lynette find out about Porter’s liaison, Mrs. Hildebrand tries to buy the Solis’ love, Susan finds out Jackson has a hidden “talent,”, Bree and Orson get down and dirty, and Lynette totally beats the shit out of someone. Why are you [...]

Tonight on “The Hills,” we FINALLY get a blessed break from the frustratingly endless Blahdrina drama (Blahdrama?) as well as a sneak peek into the freaky Aussie fetish of one Whitney Port, who finds a male model just not hot enough and ditches him for a superhumanly hot musician. I mean, really, why settle? Plus, [...]

Dear Crabby: What is the one kind of guy every girl has to get over at least once in her life? Dear Couch: Sensitive new-age rocker-wannabe guy with guitar. Trust me, one day you’ll have given your personal chef the night off and rocker wannabe will be the pizza delivery guy. But, you know, “The [...]

We’re back – fresh from a non-elimination round and a world record for TV episode containing the most uses of the word “babe”! Ladies and Gentlemen – it’s AMAZING RACE! 6 teams are left and Nick and Starr are out of the gate first. The first clue – head to Deshbandhu Apartments for their next [...]

This week on ANTM, we get to hear a lot of words like “stiff” and “rigid” but unfortunately, they aren’t being used to describe a Mr. Nigel Barker… “I forget, this week, am I into guys, girls, or “stiff and rigid” battery-powered devices?”

This week on Stylista, drama continues as whiney Kate gets even whinier. In fact, she’s almost over-taking Megan as the show’s most annoying character. Meanwhile, Anne Slowey introduces her Mini Me. A cardigan AND a string of pearls!? Must be a Golden Girl in training.

This week on Survivor: Crystal is surprisingly not terrible. I know!

This week, there was big news about our Real Housewives of Atlanta, or specifically, our NeNe. NeNe got the big plug from Anderson Cooper on the Ellen show! I never watch the Ellen show, but for some reason, I happened to be watching on election day, and when Anderson started in on that, “Honey, I [...]

***Please welcome our newest recapper, miss CHERIE! 50 cent is giving fourteen would be entrepreneurs a chance at $100,000.00 from his own bullet riddled pocket. All they have to do is survive 9 gunshot wounds and a stabbing or two. Ok not really. They have to compete against each other and prove they have what [...]

Dear Gasmii, This week, it is fully confirmed that our fighters have failed to grasp the fundamental reasons behind the separation of kitchen and bathroom. Seriously, how limited do you have to be to grasp the concept that what goes into a body should not get mixed up with what comes out of a body? [...]

“Do I look like I give a shit?” Monday night, while the world was busy fretting up a storm over the Presidential Election, MTV hatched an evil-genius plan to sedate, confuse and stupefy any and all viewers who happened upon the channel. Distracted by shiny fake tans and retarded storylines crafted by a production intern, [...]

What. The. Fuck. Seriously, what the fuck? ‘Nuff said. This picture says the rest. Now let’s get the hell into it….

This week on Grey’s Anatomy, the behind the scenes drama was much more shocking and unpredictable than the actual on-screen drama. To catch everyone up, this past week ABC fired Brooke Smith, the actress who plays Erica Hahn, and this week’s episode will be her final show. They are blaming this on the lack of [...]

Episode two leads off with process group. I was surprised that only one member was going through serious withdrawal (Nikki McKibben). Apparently the detox process really varies from person to person and substance to substance when it comes to both onset and duration. Some people start getting sick right away, while others have a lag [...]

This week, ANTM flits over to Europe. Which obviously means lots and lots of nudity. Unfortunately, Nigel stays dressed while Mizz Jay’s the one to disrobe. Twice. P-Dubs: “Ahhhh, so Isis DID teach you a thing or two!”

Dear Crabby: What is life? Dear Couch: Tico, a.k.a. the Rambutan! No, really, check it on Wikipedia. AFTER your read my recap, the other TVgasm recaps, all the TVGasm news, and all of the TVGasm forum threads. TVGasm is life! (thus ends my sucking up for the week) Seriously, don’t eat those, Ms. Size Not [...]

What are we, chopped liver? I know, I know. A week without me. And we’re already down to the final six! Are we really picking them off this quickly? I feel like we were just getting started on crazy adventure to find lust (with girls) and love (with men). This week the men attempt to [...]

Welcome back gang, for the not-so anticipated return of 90210! In the interim, I was thrice married (and subsequently divorced, I don’t want to talk about it), had some plastic surgery, cryogenically froze myself for a spell, and ate my weight in Mallomars. Seriously, CW? 3 Weeks mid-season? And yeah, whatever, you may have finally [...]

My BFF and I attended our high school’s 20-year reunion this past weekend (Go Cardinals!… or… whatever the hell our mascot was) and although I worked out obsessively and ate nothing but Tic-Tacs and Diet Dr. Pepper for the entire week before the event, I somehow did not magically lose the extra 60 pounds I’m [...]

This week on Gossip Girl, Jenny’s mullet takes center stage as she befriends Mini Coop, shoots daggers of hatred at Eleanor through her raccoon eyes, and trades being molested by one creepily older dude for another. “Welcome to the NYC, bitch!”

Last week Toni Braxton was eliminated. Tom Bergeron claims that it’s a reminder that one bad dance can mean the end, but I think it serves as a reminder that America is stupid and despite what I read on HowIsObamaDoing.com, I will remain anxious until next Wednesday. I mean, I understand Cloris Leachman’s entertainment appeal, [...]

This week on House: an insomniac man, a white-trash pregnant woman, and a sassy teenager. Hey, if you haven’t seen it in the movies already, it’s new to you. So what are we waiting for? A middle-aged guy argues with his teenage daughter while making coffee in 4 different coffeemakers. They stare at each other [...]

Dear Gasmii, It’s always heartbreaking to think what might have been. This week we focus on a young, talented, pretty boy fighter, who so easily might have become that icon that mma fans everywhere either wanted to be, or wanted to bump nasties with, or, for those narcissists out there, wanted some combination thereof. Sadly, [...]

Hello darlings, and welcome back to The Real Housewives of Atlanta! Well, we all know what tonight is – DeShawn’s big diamond gala that’s going to raise a million dollars for DeShawn to go shopping with and raise her self-esteem. I mean, the underprivileged girls’ self-esteem. Nothing says inspiration like a stupid, spoiled, classless ho [...]

This week on Grey’s Anatomy something miraculous happened. The full crew of Seattle Grace teamed up to form a unit of one. No longer, every man for themselves but all hands on deck for a common goal. This unit was formed to, well yes…perform a massive medical procedure, but more importantly the full team joined [...]

It’s the week of Halloween so, naturally, our fav platinum whores on Girls Next Door are decorating the Playmate house. Why didn’t the producers decide to air this tres trivial episode last week and air the actual freakin’ Halloween ep this week? I can’t say for sure, but I think I heard a certain maniacal [...]

This week on Survivor: the reward challenge pretty much dares you to “That’s What She Said” your television.

Did anyone watch The CW’s new little gem, Stylista last week? It’s supposed to be the real-life version of “The Devil Wears Prada” as eleven contestants compete for a junior editor position at Elle Magazine. And it is JUST like that movie! You know, but without the talent, the wit, the smarts or endearing qualities. [...]

Tonight on Desperate Housewives, it’s flashbacks, flashbacks, and more flashbacks as we go back in time to reveal that not much really happened in the past 5 years that we didn’t already know about. Did you know that Gabby had kids? And that Lynette and Tom fought about their future? And that Mike and Susan [...]

Dear Blahdrina, I know that, in today’s world, it’s hard for a woman to have it all – a career, friends, and a boyfriend who showers at least once a month and doesn’t cheat on you. But seriously, can you at least TRY to make it seem like you’re not being such a weak buffoon [...]

Dear Crabby: If you could go back to high school, what would you change? Dear Couch Ass Groove: First of all, I wouldn’t if you paid me. Second, there would be some serious ass-kicking going on and you know who you are, Kelly B! Private Betty, reporting for duty. We open this Ugly Betty with [...]

Previously on Heroes…the episode had a semi-legible title. This week, I give you “Eris Quod Sum,” which is Latin for “Yes, We Have No Bananas. Just Creepy Old Men. And Badass Sylar.” Oh, also “You Will Be What I Am.” What am I? Soon to be unemployed, so I really hope you won’t become that. [...]

On the first episode of Celebrity Rehab’s second season… They let this guy back on TV. Now who’s drunk?

It’s finale time, folks! So we left Ronen at the Parke & Ronen shoot yelling at our heroine…I mean heroin Janice Dickinson of the Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency. Janice hangs up on pedophile Ronen, saying “The Israeli Army is strong but they don’t know Janice Dickinson.” Right. I love people who want to take on [...]

It’s been awhile, Gasmii, but I’m back and ready for action. A ginormous grazie to LoLo for helping me out two weeks ago while I was rearranging my life – how awesome was her recap? Love and kisses, LoLo, I owe ya. Last week’s mid-season recap show was lame as usual, offering no insight into [...]

This week on House: tricks, treats, 13, lots of needles, a spider, a hooker–and oh yeah, B1 H0TT13Z D01N 1T 4U !!! Looks like Halloween and Christmas are both coming to Princeton early this year. Ho ho ho, off we go! 13 is getting some action. I could give you details, but there are plenty [...]

Welcome back to the ATL for another installment of the Real Housewives! I’m not gonna lie, this week was a buzzkill. NeNe’s sad, and when NeNe’s sad, whoooooo Lord, I am too. Luckily, we have Kimmie’s cigarette fueled music ambitions and DeShawn’s gala that’s sure to end up netting her three to five for fraud [...]

Lighing yourself on fire: the new way to game chicks. We’re back! The boys are lookin’ good, feelin’ good, ready to learn some material to take to the field! They are so close a random hook up they can taste it. I know you’ve been waiting for this recap all week and it’s true I’ve [...]