POSTS TAGGED: tvgasm

I didn’t even turn to NBC until 8:10 ET becuase I figured they’d be showing clips from the last episode for the first 45 minutes or so. Imagine my surprise when I turned to the show and the action had already started. Damien and Myleene start off the show and Damien can’t even get his [...]

Well, here we are. The finale of Grey’s Anatomy. It has been a rollercoaster of a season. At times I hated Grey’s Anatomy, and then at the end, just as I was ready to break up for good, like the sneaky whore she is, Grey’s roped me right back in. If you had told me [...]

***PopPrincess got busy with a real job, but you are still owed two more recaps! So please welcome your Auditiongasm winner, Tiny Elvis!! Previously on The Duel: Stuff happened that I didn’t see but I’m willing to bet that Landon won something, Rachel didn’t smile, Jenn was annoying, Diem wore pink, and Tori and Brad [...]

Thank you for joining me for another episode of I’m a Celebrity! Get Me Out of Here! I hope to make this easier for you than NBC made it for me. You’re going down for this one Silverman. You’re officially on my broadcast television shit list after David Caruso, the cast of “Gossip Girl” and [...]

Toronto Vancouver All right folks, this week on The Bachelorette, things are starting to get real. It was all fun and games before, but this week, things are taking a turn for the serious. Do you know what keeps happening? Jillian keeps sending guys home! Here they all are having a grand old time and [...]

Ferris Bueller meets police procedural when Eddie Alvarez is left in charge for the day. Danger comes home when Banks thinks he sees a murder happen across the street through his REAR WINDOW.

Well this is it. Tonight Stacey Anderson will choose the man that she will spend the next 24 hours with. TV Land is calling this a season finale so I guess the ratings were high enough to warrant a second season. My plea is that they pick someone with about four less kids and four [...]

Please let Flex fight Mr. Peepers, and why is TT wearing a skirt? Let’s see. It’s been two weeks since we last met and we are down to seven guys. A pierced up ex- stripper, a personal trainer smart ass, a famewhore, a good old boy, an annoying tattooed midget, his pining lover and the [...]

This week on the Fashion Show, there is a very important decision to be made. Should you reward the untalented one, the flake, or the untalented flake? You decide who’s who.

Previously on Charm School: Soho threw a conniption fit and left, Farrah couldn’t handle Soho’s fit so she’s left, Risky played The Race Card, and then no one got eliminated, which came as a huge shock to all us loyal viewers. Welcome back to Charm School, where the only thing classier than the students is [...]

Tonight we find out who will be the top twenty for this season of So You Think You Can Dance (dance……..dance). This is always the episode of the season that’s sort of a snooze for me. I mean, there’s only so many ways you can tell someone they’re in or out. On a separate note, [...]

I gotta tell you Gasmi, I am not a violent person by nature. But right now? My palms are itching to slap Mia across her bitch ass face. I’ll save the rest of what I have to say about her for later. But hot diggity dog I am P-I-S-S-E-D. And the rest of the judges [...]

***And now, please welcome one of your Auditiongasm faves to the team, MEDUSA!!! So, let’s start with a 10 second review of I’m a Celebrity! Get Me Out of Here! Celebrities arrive in Costa Rica. Heidi and Spencer quit, return. Celebrities survive their first night and first food challenge in the jungle, Heidi and Spencer [...]

It’s me again y’all. And it’s elimination day. I have a feeling I’m gonna be pissed off very soon so let’s just jump right into I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here! And no, she is NOT about to blow a kiss.

Dear Gasmi, This week: homophobia, xenophobia, and just plain vileness rule the housewife universe. Given the choices, I’m rooting for the batshit crazy chick. Really, that’s saying alot! Warning: This episode should not be watched without reinforcements. So, if you have it, grab it. Even if you’re reduced to chugging mouthwash. Believe, you, me, you’re [...]

Amanda would call this baby gay On the nail-biting finale (and pre-finale) episode of Make Me A Supermodel, shit hits the Flan! I mean fan. I’m on a diet, bitches, leave me ALONE! Mohahaha, Starburst, Brandon and Jonathan do a fire shoot where they only have like 10 takes. Then they get to do some [...]

“Get along, little doggie.” Welcome to another startling episode of The Bachelorette! This week everything is different and we have surprises at every turn! Just kidding. But we do have a helicopter ride and a swimming pool. Come on!

Let’s get right to it, because there’s two hours of action and a pant-load of images…after the JUMP!

This week New York Goes to Work as an exotic animal trainer. Gee, I never woulda guessed. So I tried to mirror the exotic animal trainer job, I really did. I found a circus, and sought out their trainer, but he was too busy trying to keep his face from being chewed off.

It’s only day 2 of our 23 day journey and Speidi has already quit a total of three times. However, that’s the same number of times that they got engaged, got married and had a threesome with Perez Hilton so they’ll probably be back soon. The group has been divided into women vs. men teams [...]

This week on MTV, two forces of evil narcissism joined in unholy, legal matrimony, and it was LC’s final (finally!) episode on this wretched show. But you know, for the season finale of The Hills, you’d think MTV could have conjured a little more drama over the course of a seemingly unending hourlong episode than [...]

Last time on the duel: Lando and Brit won the challenge, Dunbar was busted making out with Kimberly, and she went home packing. Jenn kicked Kimberly’s ass and Derek sent Big E home, and a recapper fell way, way, WAY behind. Cue the tribal chants and stupid facial expressions that will go down in history [...]

Mones Fun Fact: I love to sing…in the shower, while cleaning my apartment, in my cubicle at work when everyone leaves, on Monday nights at a certain San Francisco karaoke bar. I sing my little heart out. Mones Sad Fact: I’m not good. I have my moments, but they are few and far between. It’s [...]

I’m gonna start this one off with a warning. If you are easily frightened, sickened or traumatized. DO NOT GO ANY FURTHER. Now let’s get right to it y’all. Here’s the 2 hour premiere of I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here! Also, they seem to use the word “celebrity” a bit loosely.

Last week on Charm School: Trash picked up trash, Kiki got eliminated, and we learned a whole new racial stereotype. We already learned that black girls are loud and white girls are drunk strippers with fake boobs, but now we also know that girls of indiscriminate racial heritage are mute. Awesome. I’m learning so many [...]

Okay…so I’m a jackass. I thought that this was the last episode because they went to Vegas and there were only three guys left. It didn’t happen that way and now I am a little concerned for my mental well-being and the fate of this country. This week, Stacey takes the remaining three guys to [...]

Well Gasmi the time has finally come. All good things must come to an end. And eventually krappy things will too. Welcome to the season finale of Keeping Up With The Kardashians!

Holla Gasmi! Wow, it’s been a while, huh? I’ve missed you. So! Tonight is the last round of auditions for this season of So You Think You Can Dance (dance……dance)! I’m going to be honest here, I am fucking tired y’all. This evening we’re going to have some phenomenal moments, Adam being cute as a button, a bunch of nutters, and [...]

Gasmii Gasmii Gasmii! We’re halfway through the season and the rumors and theories are buzzing across the internet. Unfortunately for Harper’s Island, most of them have to do with whether Danny Gokey will make an honest woman of his boo Jamar when the Idol tour hits Iowa. I kid because I love… to hate those [...]

Holla Gasmi! Welcome to the second day of auditions for So You Think You Can Dance (dance ……… dance). Tonight we’re heading to Miami and Memphis to see what they have to offer. As usual, we’ll see too many train wreck and loons, and not near enough good auditions to satisfy me. Don’t blink or [...]

This week on Fashion Show, I have never been more grateful for my fugly ass Crocs in my life. Nope. Still not Tim Gunn. Keep workin, though!

In honor of this week’s job on New York Goes to Work, I busted out my old Ouija board, and asked it a few questions. I was looking for some answers. Question #1: Why do we park on a driveway and drive on a parkway? It ignored me. Hmmm. Question #2: How many licks does [...]

A geriatric crime spree divides Banks and Delahoy while Casey Schraeger struggles with coming out of the closet about being rich. Fine! I’ll admit it! I’m fabulously wealthy, dahlings!

Dear Gasmi, This week we learn about Lauren’s waxing phobia, the lengths that a modeling agency will go to for free advertising, and the detrimental effects of botox on oral sex. Once I force my mouth into an O I’m pretty much done for the night. I’ve got my chianti in the straw covered bottle [...]

Slaying the dragons. So here we go again getting into another season of The Bachelorette! ABC has, of course, chosen to extend the show into an excruciating two hours yet once again, but have no fear! If you can not stomach it, just tune in to read about how I couldn’t stomach it either. Let’s [...]

Well lovies looks like we are being treated to a two parter season ending extravaganza this week on Keeping Up With The Kardashians. Why you ask? Beats the hell outta me. Lets just start with one episode at a time. Then If I’m still alive I’ll do the season finale. Damn plastic surgery has done [...]

Hello Gasmii! The season finale of Ugly Betty does not disappoint, what with it’s intrigue, interviews, job-stealing, love-child aborting/adopting, Henry-returning, sexoholic living in sinning, Betty-cheating, Justin-dreaming, career-ruining, hopes-crushing, Molly-watching, ghost-whispering, cover-modeling, bride-dying, mother-drinking, investor-meddling, co-editor snaking, features-editor-dying, pigeon-picturing, magazine award-winning, Matt-revenging, and private-investigating…phew! Let’s begin! Sweet Moses, I need to get a life! We open [...]

Last week on Charm School: Marcia loved Ricki Lake, Hos donated clothes, Beverly assaulted Porno and got booted off the show, Gia got smashed and was expelled, and 50 years of fighting against racial stereotypes was flushed down the toilet in 60 minutes. I had a dream. And it had nothing to do with charm [...]

But you better believe some drunks were. After the entertaining masterpiece that was last week’s episode, this week was a bit of a let-down. The producers thankfully agreed with me and to keep it from being all about Cage’s Stage 4 drunken behavior and Fox’s unimaginable depths of duncehood, so we got a little skunk [...]

This week on Fashion Show, Not Beyonce struggles with simple English and a model falls asleep on the runway. Who can blame the ho? Surviving gay cancer is like surviving regular cancer, but way more girly and unintelligible.