POSTS TAGGED: tvgasm

Hello Gasmii– Tonight’s episode is cram-packed with the two things we’ve come to expect from Harper’s Island– vicious murders and even more diabolical plotholes. It’s like they realized how stretched-thin the last two shows were and are making up for that by stepping up the output on both bodies and nonsensical behavior. Plus there’s personal [...]

This week on Fashion Show, Eyesack gives someone a poison apple and they fall asleep FOREVAH!!!

Welcome to NYC Prep where the children are not what they seem. NYC Prep is a new show on Bravo about four young women and two young men, all teenagers who are in high school. Five of them go to private school and one is a public school girl. She’ll become obvious as the show [...]

***Please welcome your newest recapper into the fold, Moorels! The fourth season premiere of America’s Got Talent had everything the show promised us. Amazing acts, hilariously terrible acts, and warming of the heart, both genuine and constructed. Judges Piers Morgan, Sharon Osbourne, and none other than David Hasselhoff himself led us through the crowd of [...]

We’re one episode away from finding out who will be crowned the King or Queen of the Jungle and boy am I relieved. I ended up enjoying the show in a weird way and I’ve become attached to Patti’s pigtails, Torrie’s nerdy glasses and Lou’s bare chest. I’m not so attached to the third Mario [...]

“It’s the MOST DRAMATIC TRANSPORTATION IN BACHELORETTE HISTORY.” Well for Pete’s sake, here we go again with The Bachelorette. Is this Groundhog Day? Have I woken up in Punxutawney, Pennsylvania to Sonny and Cher’s “I Got You Babe?”

Yes folks it’s finally here. The day we’ve all been waiting for. Who will be named King or Queen of the Jungle? Let’s wade through the 58 minutes of commercials and rehashing and find out who wins I’m A Celebrity! Get Me Out Of Here! Wanna spank my monkey?

***True Blood is one of our favorite shows, and we finally found someone fantastic to serve up your recaps. Please welcome our newest Moviegasm contributor over to the recap side! WaffleBoy!! Hey Gasmi, a quick question, do you like vampires? Okay, that’s a dumb question, because of course you do; everybody loves vampires. From the [...]

Buenos dias chiquitas, you’re never going to believe what happened to me! I went to Brooklyn for some sex, drinks and fighting…and I fell asleep. I think a whole season of the Real World might have happened, but I napped through it. All I know is, I woke up in Mexico! First day here, and [...]

I had JUST sworn off fast food Gasmi. I’m on a diet goddammit!! And then I heard the news: this week New York Goes To Work as a fast food employee. Well, I had to do my research, right? What happened next, well, let’s just say this was the appetizer………  My ass thanks VH1 

This week on Daisy of Love.. Don’t be sick, Gasmii. By now most of you should know not to eat before reading my recaps. Also, at this point in the game the Yack Castle is getting pretty claustrophobic. Which means that it’s a perfect time to shove them all in the kitchen together to whip [...]

I’m back! The demons at Best Buy have been defeated and my computer is fixed. We’re on Day 18 of the celebrities supposedly being in the jungle. I’ve missed Lou, Janice and Sanjaya. But I’ve missed the summer’s sexiest couple most of all. Ebony and Ivory (Ivory comes with matching handcuffs).

This week on Fashion Show, Kenley prays and Satan answers.

Poor Cat, she hates Thursdays so much; she has to say good-bye to another two of her “babies”. The wardrobe people must feel sorry for her because her outfit on Thursday is always much MUCH better than the Wednesday ones. Tonight she’s rocking the Tony Manero look. THIS. Is So You Think You Can Dance [...]

Welcome to week two of the competition. What will tonight bring? The stakes are high and so are the costume designers. THIS. Is So You Think You Can Dance (dance……dance)! When does a ruffled maxi-pad dress EVER sound like a good idea? 

To Gasmii It May Concern– The role of Token Minority will henceforth be known as Braids. Alright, let’s cut to the chase. High Tension (2003) is one the scariest, grab-you-by-the-throat thrillers of the decade. Director Alexandre Aja plays the audience like a baby grand, pulling us into the deceptively simple story of two co-eds on [...]

Dear Gasmi: Sadly, I never recovered from my flu. I am in fact dead. I’m also determined to drag my sorry decomposing carcass out of my grave to finish off this season for you. Guilt Free!!

Maria Menounos is given the task of getting to the bottom the Duel 2. Unfortunately, she spends more time talking about things that didn’t happen on the show and about people who aren’t at the reunion. I sat through it anyway (a decent amount of Landon face time didn’t hurt) to bring you all the [...]

What a sad week. Not only are we subjected to more brain damage courtesy of Fox, but it looks as though 12 Pack isn’t packing so much. Maybe all that leopard is some kind of spooky penis camouflage? Here’s hoping.

Well peeps we’re almost there. It’s almost over. Let’s get right into rehashing everything we’ve already seen and then I’ll tell you if anything new actually occurred on I’m A Celebrity! Get Me Out Of Here! Did you wash yo nasty ass hands?

“I had no idea it was going to be this hard!” We open this week’s The Bachelorette with Jillian reminding us how hard that last Rose Ceremony was for her. She is still beside herself with shock to imagine that one or more of the guys may be on TV for selfish purposes, rather than [...]

I’m sure you’ve guessed as much from the title, but I’ll tell ya anyway……this week New York Goes to Work as a clown! Now I know I asked for this last week, but I sort of had second thoughts. I mean, clowns have always creeped me out. Ever since that fucker in the Poltergeist movie. [...]

****Please welcome back TinyElvis with The Duel Finale!! The reunion will be up shortly. Previously on the Duel: Those of you expecting a competition were sadly disappointed when all you got was a Dr. Phil episode. Tori and Brad got un-engaged, re-engaged and, just when you thought you might never see any physical activity again, [...]

Previously on Charm School: Bubbles swam in the air even though Charm School has a pool, Kip and Marcia decided they hated each other, the dolphin squad squeaked at Porno, and Porno got sent home to get some nookie (and I threw up in my mouth a little). Ladies and Gentlemen, this is Charm School. [...]

Tonight’s the first of many sad sad nights. Or angry nights. Maybe happy nights. It all depends on which dancers go home, who you’re voting for, and what atrocity Cat is wearing. THIS. Is So You Think You Can Dance (dance…..dance)! This dress wouldn’t be bad if it wasn’t the color of POOP. 

Dear Gasmi, After a week of nursing my son through the flu, I caught it. I’m writing this recap under the influence of a crapload of Nyquil mixed with a medicinal hot toddy. Woohoo!!! I’m apologizing in advance for any major typos. It’s hard to keep track of the keyboard when the room is spinning. [...]

♫♪ Tonight’s the night we’ll make hiiiiistoooorrrrryyy, Gasmi, you and I. And we’ll watch every dance, and listen to Adam taaaalk. We’ll sway and we’ll swoon and gawk.  â™«  I’m so excited for the first performance show of the season! Let’s see what these dancers have got. THIS.   Is So You Think You Can Dance (dance…….dance)! I see [...]

I didn’t even turn to NBC until 8:10 ET becuase I figured they’d be showing clips from the last episode for the first 45 minutes or so. Imagine my surprise when I turned to the show and the action had already started. Damien and Myleene start off the show and Damien can’t even get his [...]

Well, here we are. The finale of Grey’s Anatomy. It has been a rollercoaster of a season. At times I hated Grey’s Anatomy, and then at the end, just as I was ready to break up for good, like the sneaky whore she is, Grey’s roped me right back in. If you had told me [...]

***PopPrincess got busy with a real job, but you are still owed two more recaps! So please welcome your Auditiongasm winner, Tiny Elvis!! Previously on The Duel: Stuff happened that I didn’t see but I’m willing to bet that Landon won something, Rachel didn’t smile, Jenn was annoying, Diem wore pink, and Tori and Brad [...]

Thank you for joining me for another episode of I’m a Celebrity! Get Me Out of Here! I hope to make this easier for you than NBC made it for me. You’re going down for this one Silverman. You’re officially on my broadcast television shit list after David Caruso, the cast of “Gossip Girl” and [...]

Toronto Vancouver All right folks, this week on The Bachelorette, things are starting to get real. It was all fun and games before, but this week, things are taking a turn for the serious. Do you know what keeps happening? Jillian keeps sending guys home! Here they all are having a grand old time and [...]

Ferris Bueller meets police procedural when Eddie Alvarez is left in charge for the day. Danger comes home when Banks thinks he sees a murder happen across the street through his REAR WINDOW.

Well this is it. Tonight Stacey Anderson will choose the man that she will spend the next 24 hours with. TV Land is calling this a season finale so I guess the ratings were high enough to warrant a second season. My plea is that they pick someone with about four less kids and four [...]

Please let Flex fight Mr. Peepers, and why is TT wearing a skirt? Let’s see. It’s been two weeks since we last met and we are down to seven guys. A pierced up ex- stripper, a personal trainer smart ass, a famewhore, a good old boy, an annoying tattooed midget, his pining lover and the [...]

This week on the Fashion Show, there is a very important decision to be made. Should you reward the untalented one, the flake, or the untalented flake? You decide who’s who.

Previously on Charm School: Soho threw a conniption fit and left, Farrah couldn’t handle Soho’s fit so she’s left, Risky played The Race Card, and then no one got eliminated, which came as a huge shock to all us loyal viewers. Welcome back to Charm School, where the only thing classier than the students is [...]

Tonight we find out who will be the top twenty for this season of So You Think You Can Dance (dance……..dance). This is always the episode of the season that’s sort of a snooze for me. I mean, there’s only so many ways you can tell someone they’re in or out. On a separate note, [...]

I gotta tell you Gasmi, I am not a violent person by nature. But right now? My palms are itching to slap Mia across her bitch ass face. I’ll save the rest of what I have to say about her for later. But hot diggity dog I am P-I-S-S-E-D. And the rest of the judges [...]

***And now, please welcome one of your Auditiongasm faves to the team, MEDUSA!!! So, let’s start with a 10 second review of I’m a Celebrity! Get Me Out of Here! Celebrities arrive in Costa Rica. Heidi and Spencer quit, return. Celebrities survive their first night and first food challenge in the jungle, Heidi and Spencer [...]