POSTS TAGGED: tvgasm

This week on I Love Money 2, the episode is awesome! Who’da thunkit?

This week on Hell’s Kitchen, JP wonders who he pissed off in production, a boy becomes a man, and the thirty second rule gets put to the test. It’s mine, all mine!

Dear Gasmi, This week JZ and Brad make a pitch for their own gay sitcom; Bethenny gets to play covergirl; Ramona rocks a bikini; Silex floats in a backyard pool of denial; and the Count-ass earns her title. Whoopsi, I forgot Kelly. Well on the TV she’s still meh, but in real life… Holy Cow!! [...]

Pageant mentors are as important to pageants as big red noses are to clowns. You just have to have one. And this pageant has a big one and he knows who he is. I am the big red nose on this clown of a pageant. This week we are treated to more of Michael Galanes’ [...]

   Greetings Gasmii! This week, ’24′ has the remedy for whatever ails you. Bored? Well, how about a bunch of shit blowing up and people getting shot left and right? Confused? Maybe a little back-story tonic and future relationship foreshadowing will do the trick? Tired of the Sangala plot line? Well how about an in-depth [...]

Tonight on Desperate Housewives: Orson develops what is supposed to be a bad habit, but it’s mostly just lame and ridiculous; Gabby wonders whether lying about Brad’s affair is worth having shiny things; Susan and Katherine fight over a crappy painting as she and Mike move in together; and Tom and Lynette vie for the [...]

Let me set the scene for y’all: Dim lights. The soft clink of silver and china. The back of a bunch of books, featuring a pic of the tweedy author. A fancy banquet-hall dinner. The author himself, even tweedier in person, about to attempt a speech.    What my hair looked like in high school. He [...]

Hi there Gasmi! It’s me Cherie. Don’t know who I am? Yeah well me neither. When Flipit asked if I wanted to do this show I was hesitant, after all, I do have standards. Turns out very LOW standards so here I is! Welcome to my version of Keeping Up With The Kardashians.

Welcome back to the only way to traverse every state fair ground east of the Mississippi, the Rock Of Love Bus! This week, we have a challenge, a drunken night out, a spicy bitchfight, a solo date and more! We have a lot to get to. No time for panties. You don’t need them where [...]

This week on Making the Band, we learn that no one is safe from the failing economy. And that Diddy’s Trickle Down Economics never quite seem to trickle down to those who work for him. But at least the show is no longer trying to pretend like Shannon is still a member of Danity Kane. [...]

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This week I am still pissed off so I will be foregoing sitting on my exercise ball and use a chair I can’t fall out of. Oxygen couldn’t decide on a title so I’ll use both. Let’s get right into the Bad Girls Club!

Cootchie cootchie kook Here we go again. First of all, I was raised to beleive that talent should be rewarded and failure was something you learned from, not the other way around. That is why this episode made me question the judging even more than last week. Not that the gal I’m referring to here [...]

Welcome back to the Real World Brooklyn, where everyone dreams big, and the camera crews following them around make that seem like a good plan. No! You don’t look like a epileptic at all! Keep dancing!

Well, not really. We open this episode of Toddlers & Tiaras with pageant director Aimee Adkins telling us that the girls in this “Southern Celebrity Pageant” being held in Kentucky compete full-glitz and all-natural. That sounds fair. “We’re trying to make dreams come true one crown at a time,” she says. How about one health [...]

This week, on Survivor: Jalapao does me a solid. Thanks, guys!

This week’s episode opens with Ray J, The Cowardly Lion and the Mute waking up on the floor together. I guess this show’s budget was eaten up by Tool Academy. Even that cast gets to share an actual bed with their girlfriend once in a while. Oh well, any episode that opens like this has [...]

This week on I Love Money 2, Prancer goes down in history! Okay, maybe not, but that doesn’t mean we can’t quote Rudolph anyway.

This week on Lost, Sawyer gets in touch with his inner softy, Juliet learns how to fix a carburetor, Dick Alpert demands some justice, and the love quadrangle rears its ugly head yet again.

Mystery, intrigue and long-awaited for make-out sessions. Plus karaoke, Damages-style! Won’t be anything left!

This week, American Idol is not satisfied with monopolizing the air waves during its eighteen thousand hours of scheduled time and bleeds its bloated ass into my show. This. Is Hell’s Kitchen, dammit. Get off my TV NOW Please!!!!

Dear Gasmi, I don’t know what it is about these women, but they definitely bring out my decadent side. I’ve got Ben and Jerry’s cookie dough ice cream swimming in Bailey’s with a mound of whipped cream on top. I’m guessing that none of those ingredients are in Bethenny’s Naturally Thin book, and you know [...]

Seriously, Brothers and Sisters? You seriously promised me a birth and a death in this super special two-hour movie event, and then no one fucking died? Not Saul or even stupid Tommy. No one. Guh. And now I’m sick, so if I seem a bit more cranky than usual, blame the stupid promo monkeys at [...]

Tonight on The Shitty: Whit-Whit has a horrible week: first she gets screwed over by Olivia at work, then she doesn’t get screwed at all from Jay when she gets home, because Jay may or may not be screwing someone else, whose name rhymes with Banielle. That’s pretty much the ep, although Allie moves in [...]

Welcome back onboard the Rock of Love Bus! Got your pasties and tube socks? Sounds crazy, but trust me, it’s the perfect ensemble for tonight’s installment. This was one of the best Rock of Loves ever. Top Heif

Tonight on American Idol, dreams are stamped out at twice the speed! I’ll still take your credit card number, honey. Don’t cry. BUY.

Welcome to the reunion!! The show’s over, but there’s plenty of drama to be talked out. Hoser and Possible Stalker Leah made out, Possible Stalker Leah and Hoser made out, and two fugfugs totally made out. Excited? Me too. Andy Cohen: Bobblehead

Ugly Betty opens with Betty trying to get a picture of herself for her Facebook page. She can’t seem to get a good one, go figure. She’s trying to get it uploaded before her next YETI class (I’m over typing the periods between the letters), and I’m just wondering how this program is going for [...]

America’s Sweetheart Wow, where to start with the latest installation of The Bachelor? Tonight Jason Mesnick blew up in America’s face and left grody little pieces of himself all over our TV screens. Let’s get started.

Little Miss Perfect is a new reality show about children’s beauty pageants. I know, I know I hear the groans. But really Gasmii, we can’t only write about well behaved mature men like those on “Confessions of a Teen Idol” we need to explore the outer limits of the human psyche. The outer limits includes [...]

They’ve said goodbye to their families, they’ve put their jobs on hold, and they’ve abandoned their every day lives. What selflessness! Who will be the next Jesus? No one knows. In the meantime, THIS. Is American Idol! You were really relevant tonight, dawg.

Guess what Gasmi? I can breathe again! I’m still alive and ready to fight through another episode of crazy bitches. But enough about The Golden Girls, lets jump into the Bad Girls Club!

Dear Gasmi, This week Christian Siriano makes a cameo as JZ’s mother, Bethenny gets on the single girl train, Ramona reveals her inner roid head, the Countess embarrasses nobility everywhere, and Kelly is meh. I dream of a world where dogs can chew bones without worrying about staining their clothes. Got your skinny girl margaritas? [...]

I just moved into a new apartment this weekend, so I recap this week’s episode of Making the Band entirely from a small plot of room in front of the front door and leaning up against a full length mirror. This is the only spot where I can clearly steal a WiFi signal from the [...]

This week on the Real World Brooklyn, the boys act like bitches, and not just the gay one. This is what we’ve come to.

This week on I Love Money 2, we find out that these people have trouble putting their mouths in action! Considering the nature of this show, the whole core of VH1 is shaken.

On this week’s Lost, Locke tries to convince the Oceanic 6 to come back to The Island, Widmore shows some Tunisian hospitality, and Ben decides he should never take a job working at a suicide hotline.

Tonight on American Idol, Uncle Phyllis goes back to teaching volleyball at an all girls school and the In and Out stays one Chola safer for at least another couple of weeks. Sorry Gay Best Just Friends, you have been replaced by a Christmas Ham in an Elvira wig.

This week, Hell’s Kitchen starts pretty much where it left off. Did I stutter? Suck it Bitches!!

Dear Gasmi, When I was a little yenta, I had a childhood fantasy of standing on a big stage in front of thousands of people and asking the question “To be or not to be?” People would argue back and forth in front of me for a while, but ultimately I would get to decide [...]