POSTS TAGGED: tvgasm

Welcome to the reunion!! The show’s over, but there’s plenty of drama to be talked out. Hoser and Possible Stalker Leah made out, Possible Stalker Leah and Hoser made out, and two fugfugs totally made out. Excited? Me too. Andy Cohen: Bobblehead

Ugly Betty opens with Betty trying to get a picture of herself for her Facebook page. She can’t seem to get a good one, go figure. She’s trying to get it uploaded before her next YETI class (I’m over typing the periods between the letters), and I’m just wondering how this program is going for [...]

America’s Sweetheart Wow, where to start with the latest installation of The Bachelor? Tonight Jason Mesnick blew up in America’s face and left grody little pieces of himself all over our TV screens. Let’s get started.

Little Miss Perfect is a new reality show about children’s beauty pageants. I know, I know I hear the groans. But really Gasmii, we can’t only write about well behaved mature men like those on “Confessions of a Teen Idol” we need to explore the outer limits of the human psyche. The outer limits includes [...]

They’ve said goodbye to their families, they’ve put their jobs on hold, and they’ve abandoned their every day lives. What selflessness! Who will be the next Jesus? No one knows. In the meantime, THIS. Is American Idol! You were really relevant tonight, dawg.

Guess what Gasmi? I can breathe again! I’m still alive and ready to fight through another episode of crazy bitches. But enough about The Golden Girls, lets jump into the Bad Girls Club!

Dear Gasmi, This week Christian Siriano makes a cameo as JZ’s mother, Bethenny gets on the single girl train, Ramona reveals her inner roid head, the Countess embarrasses nobility everywhere, and Kelly is meh. I dream of a world where dogs can chew bones without worrying about staining their clothes. Got your skinny girl margaritas? [...]

I just moved into a new apartment this weekend, so I recap this week’s episode of Making the Band entirely from a small plot of room in front of the front door and leaning up against a full length mirror. This is the only spot where I can clearly steal a WiFi signal from the [...]

This week on the Real World Brooklyn, the boys act like bitches, and not just the gay one. This is what we’ve come to.

This week on I Love Money 2, we find out that these people have trouble putting their mouths in action! Considering the nature of this show, the whole core of VH1 is shaken.

On this week’s Lost, Locke tries to convince the Oceanic 6 to come back to The Island, Widmore shows some Tunisian hospitality, and Ben decides he should never take a job working at a suicide hotline.

Tonight on American Idol, Uncle Phyllis goes back to teaching volleyball at an all girls school and the In and Out stays one Chola safer for at least another couple of weeks. Sorry Gay Best Just Friends, you have been replaced by a Christmas Ham in an Elvira wig.

This week, Hell’s Kitchen starts pretty much where it left off. Did I stutter? Suck it Bitches!!

Dear Gasmi, When I was a little yenta, I had a childhood fantasy of standing on a big stage in front of thousands of people and asking the question “To be or not to be?” People would argue back and forth in front of me for a while, but ultimately I would get to decide [...]

Hello Gasmii, sorry for the late recap, I have been busy procuring some employment and I had no idea how much a new job would cut into my recapping! Thanks for your patience, I recap much better when I can pay bills and you know, afford to eat. This week, a new Meade joins the [...]

We’re in a room with late-afternoon sort of sunlight, which is probably the director’s way of saying this is a flashback. Closeup of a doctor talking to a pair of new parents, saying ominous things like “genetic mosaicism”, “ambiguous genitalia” and “normal life”. It seems their baby was born not just with both sets of [...]

Tonight on Top Chef, Ilan wins. And food loses.

It’s difficult to say goodbye to friends you make at summer camp, even at band camp. So how will these 7 Idols say goodbye and what have they learned? Did their lives really change and just what is the big surprise for each of our Idols? Just like “The Wizard of Oz” our Idols will [...]

Welcome back for another exciting week! Last we learned hicks aren’t always cuddly and lovable, there’s a good reason why people confuse Switzerland and Sweden – they both make shitty furniture, cheese can be dangerous even for those are aren’t lactose intolerant and just because you’re deaf doesn’t mean you can’t make 10 other teams [...]

   Greetings Gasmii! This week’s episode of ’24′ was very stylized and moody. There were a lot of intense, lingering shots of facial expressions meant to convey each character’s inner turmoil. The whole time I was watching, I imagined them bursting out into musical numbers during those very very very emotional moments! So, without further [...]

A Welder. A bartender, A font designer (that’s a job? Who made wingdings?). A comedian. A fortysomething year old, and a musical theater queen with an Elvira wig. THIS! Is American Idol!

Welcome back to the Rock of Love Bus! It’s time for Bret’s favorite challenge, Mudbowl. Unfortunately, I’m not much of a fan or football or mud, so I’m focusing on Bret’s private jet concert date, which just might go down in dating show history as the best date ever. Flash me something for a backstage [...]

Howdy there Gasmi! After last weeks recap show I am back and anxious to dive right in to this new episode. Not really, I actually have the flu and sitting up and typing makes me want to cry but thats just how much I love you guys. Let me crack open a new case of [...]

This time on The Shitty: The gang heads to Miami, where Jay runs into an ex, causing tension (mild tension) with Whitney; Allie acts unstable like always and she and Adam come to an impasse; and Olivia isn’t in this episode at all! Mwahahahahaha! Kiss!

And here’s the proof. Where to begin? This episode started out normal enough, or as normal as a show about drag queens can be. More bitchiness, more ego fueled blather from our showgirl, Shannel and plenty of fabulous hair and makeup. Then it took a turn into “oh no!” unexpectedness. We had a reference to [...]

The cliffhanger from last week’s Making the Band was whether or not Danity Kane would give it another try. I have a feeling that this will be the cliffhanger at the end of every episode for the rest of this season and for many seasons to come.

Gasmii, what can I say? This week’s Toddlers & Tiara’s pageant is the Chitlin’ Strut and I actually had to pay $2 to download this heinousness from iTunes to get some pictures for you, that is just how much I love you. What they don’t picture are the actual chitlins, which according to Wikipedia are [...]

Dear Gasmi, If this season is anything like last season there’s going to be parties and fights, gay husbands and bargain basement royalty, wannabe socialhos and wannabe strait husbands all competing for approval and adulation in the public eye. That would be us, Gasmi. Am I ready to adulate? Hell no, this is the Gasm, [...]

This week on I Love Money 2, the cast turns up the heat! That’s judging by Saaphyri’s face, at least, because I can’t find any other excuse for this look.

Coke busts and dirty tradings and hookers, oh my! Plus, lots and lots of Uncle Pete until, well, you know… Back off, senile. Becker wasn’t nominated.

This week on Lost, Jack gets Sunday-schooled, the Oceanic 6 leave on a jet plane, and Locke gets a new pair of kicks.

This week on Hell’s Kitchen, the gang takes a field trip, learn some life lessons about meat and where our food comes from, and we get to enjoy the juicy squishy sounds of vomit. Hope you have those barf bags ready Gasmii!!

Tonight on American Idol, Carly Smithson does a Delta Burke when she was thin impression and Tatiana has a seizure. Cooooooooonsuela!

Dear Gasmi, It’s finally here, the last full episode of the Orange County housewives. I’ve got my aerodynamic comfort foods and my dirty martini (shouts out to njgasmfan) and I’m ready to go. Here’s to the hos who’ve taken time off from their busy schedules to invade our lives for thirteen weeks. May they forever [...]

I Know I Am, But What Are You? Howard Fine, Acting Coach and Asshole Dear Gasmii, Welcome once again to “Confessions of a Teen Idol”. This week we’re treated to a major beat down of one Idol, a big change in another Idol and the specter of one of our Idols in a Speedo swimsuit. [...]

Welcome back to the Real World Brooklyn! I could write a nice, opening paragraph about my thoughts on the week’s episode…or I could just copy mine and Flippy’s emails about it: ChickBomb: you know I actually liked the rw this week! It was still dumb as hell but I kinda liked it! Flippy: good! it’s [...]

First off, what’s up with those new Fox promos? You know the ones I mean: “SO MYSTERIOUS!” “SO PROVOCATIVE!” “SO MEATY!” OK, that last one’s from The Soup, but anyway. Fox is tacky enough already without giving every show the GoDaddy treatment. (Speaking of which, if any two things do NOT belong together, it’s domain [...]

This week on Top Chef, a midget tried to bang a big girl and we found out that Fabio’s way gayer than we could have ever imagined.

“I am all kinds of confused.” Hello beloved fans of The Bachelor! As you may or may not know, this last week some rumors started circulating on the interweb involving a Bachelor scandal of epic proportions. I have no idea if the rumors are true and I have no idea if I care if the [...]