POSTS TAGGED: tvgasm

Okay, Gasmii, do you think you can handle another gloriously cheesy season of Top Model? I heard numbers for the excruciatingly long premiere were way down this season but hopefully none of you jumped (space)ship. Cycle 11 is headed back to LA and during the course of this two-hour premiere, viewers were treated to special [...]

Previously on Big Brother, Renny dazzled America with her wigs, dangly earrings, and muumuus. I’m pullin’ for ya girl! Baby Jane grew up to be healthy and happy, contrary to nasty rumors.

It’s been a long summer, but finally — Gossip Girl is back! Nate serving his one and only purpose.

This week on Project Runway, Kenley cries because she’s sick of working for K Mart. Seriously. Let’s go!! Blue Light. WAAAHHHHHHH

“At last. The grand culmination of our charade.” I feel it only fair to warn you that tonight’s episode of Date My Ex takes about 30 seconds worth of information and stretches it into an entire hour of sub-par programming. I kid you not. It is my pleasure to bring to you a retelling of [...]

Well, with the Olympics finished and the DNC out of the way, young people had nothing else remotely political or cultural to do this week. So, they watched a bunch of blondies make scrunched-up, “hmm, that’s a shame” faces whenever they talk about how lame boys are, and Kelly Cutrone secure her position as most [...]

Soooo…didn’t think I was going to have to call a priest over to my house this evening to exorcise the demon babies from my DVR. Thanks a lot, show.

This week on Million Dollar Listing, Chad goes to Vegas, fights with Victoria, and meets the true daughter of Satan – Lauren. You will hate her. Madison helps a friend buy a house and deals with his sexual issues in a very After-School Special kind of way. Trust Fund helps people buy a house. I, [...]

The title for this recap has absolutely nothing to do with this week’s episode of Making the Band. I just think Brillo’s name is funny. Donnie KLANG. KLANG?! That’s awesome! Also, my apologies for the lateness of this recap. I had to spend the week at a little convention in Denver. Yeah, D.Woods knows where [...]

Previously on Big Brother, all the jerkfaces were eliminated, and now there are five people left and I really like four of them. That’s not how it’s supposed to happen on this show! Don’t you know I’m supposed to despise every last one of you by now? DON’T YOU? Quick, one of you call somebody [...]

Previously on I Love Money, Rodeo rode on home and we found out there are no more teams. No more teams?! How will we ever cope? Find out after the jump!

Tonight on Big Brother, I thought I missed the double elimination because of the stupid election coverage running late and got really really mad and ate half a pizza and then BB came on after all and I felt really guilty and vowed to start dieting again tomorrow. Thankfully, I wasn’t wearing my cross when [...]

This week on Project Runway, I’m older and more spiritual. So suck it. Sebelia cheated. Now on with the judging!

“Welcome to my sexy vat of crap!” Welcome, one and all, to another episode of Date My Ex. To those of you out there with the amazing stamina it must take to keep tuning in to read about Jo De La Rosa as if she were the least bit important, I thank you heartily. As [...]

This week on I Want to Work for Diddy, the teams have to create Diddy-themed viral videos, reminding us why the best viral videos are accidentally and fortuitously captured, and not written by a bunch of “Apprentice” rejects. If Grimace and the Hamburglar had a love child…

“Steady…. don’t make me laugh! Dead puppies. Baseball. The Montauk Monster.” I’m not sure if MTV is still promoting that whole “Rock The Vote” campaign, but if they are they’re doing a very bad job of it (I’m looking at you, Diddy). That’s because last night, as Michelle Obama and Ted Kennedy were giving their [...]

Previously on Big Brother I was accused of gaying up my recaps too much. I have no plans on stopping.

After spending last week’s episode visiting every radio station on the east coast, Shwayze and the boyz are back in home town L.A. And we join them this week as they make yet another radio station appearance. They’re promoting their upcoming performance at Wango Tango, a giant concert with a catchy name.

This week on Big Brother, Dan takes his “suck hard” strategy to an entirely new sucktacular high. I can’t hear you. Suck louder.

On this episode of Million Dollar Listing: Chad and Victoria are celebrating their one-year anniversary and he has a surprise for her. Madison hires a new assistant and goes on a blind date. Trust Fund (nee Josh Flagg) breaks the law, and no one’s surprised. Some houses are sold, some houses are not, and I [...]

Greetings, gasmii! I’m finding that I worry every week that I Love Money is going to lose its gusto along the way, that maybe this week won’t be as terribly good. What the hell would we do then, right? Not to worry though, every week I’m completely delighted that this show will never run out [...]

Helloooooooo GASMII! I am back from my one-month long vacation that moved so quickly that it felt like it was gone in an MMMBop! And guess who else is back? Diddy and the gang AND a very special guest who just happens to be an extremely dramatic and partly evil choreographer. Any guesses on that [...]

“Slade has two swimming pools?” So this week a family member of mine set the DVR to record the Olympics EVERY TIME it was on. This of course, means that the Olympics were recording for at least 12 hours every day and the DVR started eliminating everything else that was recorded, most alarmingly, Date My [...]

Hey Gasmii, on this week’s NEW YORK GOES TO HOLLYWOOD, New York experiences a flavor of the far east in her first commercial shoot. She’s shooting a Japanese spec commercial, and in order to gain a better understanding of a foreign culture she indulges in stereotypical research – for example, going to a dry cleaner, [...]

This week on Project Runway, big girls cry. Well, one does. Zebra print hurts us all, Pleath.

Previously on Big Brother, Renny got a little private time in the HOH room so she could really let her hair down. Smooth sailin’ some days, sometimes just a kick in the rear. But she’s here!

Doubtless many of you have been watching Michael Phelps and that Nastasia gymnast chick show off their hard-earned physical superiority over in Chinatown. But what you may have forgotten (and I’m here to remind you) is that there are people in this world who have gotten even further in life and in financial stability by [...]

This week on I Want to Work for Diddy, the teams hunt down international models too skinny to leave tracks and create an ad campaign for sunglasses no one who could actually afford them would buy. “If I put my arm around a transexual, does that make me gay?”

Hey everybody! So how about that Michael Phelps character? It’s pretty impressive what he did, right? You know what else is impressive? The entire length of his races were interesting, even exciting. I’m pretty sure that nothing in the entire length of Pam: Girl on the Loose is going to be remotely as interesting as [...]

Do you have any friends or coworkers who take way too much time to tell a story? They really only need about 40 seconds for set up and punchline, but some how they drag the tale on until your eyes glaze over and your mind wanders to thoughts of grocery lists and bills to pay. [...]

Welcome back all ye ever-faithful Gasmii who read these insanely long recaps that fly forth from the limp-wristed hands of El Chubbo Homo known as J-Mo. It is so hard to believe that it’s been an entire two months since we began this journey together and watching the fabulously exciting and dramatic Shear Genius on [...]

Well, here we are once again, and I managed to out-write the publishing platform! No matter, I’m getting better at this all the time… when we last left off with our stylestants, they were getting ridiculously drunk and impersonating the previous loozahs of the season (and Bitchy Charlie’s Nekisa impression was to die for!) …honey, [...]

We’re back for another week of I Love Money! I love this show for so very many reasons, but one of the main reasons is that it feels never-ending in a totally good way. These are the reality TV all-stars, they don’t have to give us any of their time! But we’ve got them for [...]

***Letter from the Editor: I received some reader requests for this show, and once I sat down to watch it I couldn’t believe that I needed a few emails to wake my ass up to the situation. I called up Hypnotoad, America’s Most Smartest Model recapper, and dragged him out of retirement. I assigned him [...]

“My old folks home, my rules!” We are back this evening with Round Four of the dreaded Date My Ex. Blonde Bangs takes us through another painful recap going all the way back to when the girls cooked up this whole silly scheme in the first place. We continue through to Jo inviting Zack to [...]

Previously on Big Brother ,Michelle took control and went crazy with vengeance! “This if fah yew, Jessie!”

Hey Gasmii, Last week on New York Goes to Hollywood, New York had her heart broken once again, but instead of Flavor Flav, it was a crew of managers who crushed her soul. After seeing a performance and hitting up the food station/bar, they didn’t have the patience to wait for New York and took [...]

This week on Project Runway, there are actually projects that don’t suck on the runway. Will the rest of the season be teamwork challenges? You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make it not act like an asshole.

This week on I Want To Work For Diddy, Diddy tries to convince us that navigating a forest with just a compass and a protractor has something to do with being his personal assistant — while yet again refusing to make a personal appearance. Plus: bigotry, stupidity, and obesity. Try to match that, Trump! Here’s [...]

Well, friends, we made it. I can’t believe it myself. I’m still in shock that The Mole was actually revived in the first place. It was like Christmas, but in the summer, and instead of annoying songs and creepy Santas, we got anthropomorphic citrus and the irrepressible SmugJon.