POSTS TAGGED: tvgasm

Welcome back to the Real Housewives of New York.  This week, the pressure is on for Cool Cat Carole to finish her new book.  Unfortunately, no time for writing now, though, because she needs to start packing for Miami.  What does dress for Kobe hotdog casual mean, exactly?   Carole and Sonja leave New York [...]

( This week on Dear TvGasm we check in with the judges coming and going on American Idol) Well, whatever happens, we know that you can’t spell American Idol without Tink    Dear TvGasm, It’s like this zembomb daboody! Love the gig, but I’ve got to go back on the road. The millions of fans [...]

Welcome to the latest installment of the semi-connected women of Mob Wives Chicago! We find out that the charity event of this season will be the breast cancer walk in honor of Leah’s mom.  At least this is legitimate and not some random charity where the drama can reach its peak.  I mean, the drama [...]

It’s not easy being Will.

This show will get booted from CBS faster than HoHo did. Previously on Big Brother, a gay guy beat a lesbian at hockey, … Don’t move. …male pattern baldness beat a gay guy, … and a nerd beat…well, Ian didn’t beat anyone at anything. He did, however, go down on a bear. The show has [...]

Run until you barf or break your ankle!

Apple Pie here, subbing for Potty Mouth. Hope I can make PM proud! 16 Left, 2 more to go tonight … welcome to So You Think You Can Dance! Damn, Cat, you even make goth look good! Aw, fuck! They let Amelia have her way and gave the group a black and white Chaplin-esque (pre-recorded) [...]

Let’s dive right in, shall we? Previously on Snooki & JWoww: Snooki is pregnant; Snooki decided to invite the Jersey Shore roommates over for dinner and to announce her engagement and pregnancy; JMomm is doing a terrible job pretending that she is not insanely jealous about Snooki’s impending domestic life. I don’t care, I love [...]

I’m so sorry for the delay on this recap, my dear Gasmii.  I’m out of my meds (because I’m stupid and missed my appt) and going through withdrawal, so I feel like a giant bag of flaming shit. We start out this episode with Stephanie pointing out that the house now has more wiener than [...]

Lucy demonstrates why she’s unemployable. Score another win for Kristin!

Previously on Big Brother, the gay guy had There’s Something About Mary sperm bangs, a hot hairless Redneck got all violent with pork rinds, and white trash got dipped in cheese. Cheese n’ Crackers I love the eviction episodes for the same reason I love going home to Texas: I don’t feel quite as homely [...]

JLo’s a boxer?

Everyone blathers on. Some more than others.

Last week, the Great White Grin swam in from London with her shiver of sharks and celebrated Aviva’s fifth anniversary with a pinot-soaked chum fest courtesy of Sonja in the City.  In a season sorely lacking in drama, watching Pleather’s gnashing smile chasing Ramona around the room was like a gory ray of sunshine that [...]

I am so happy to announce that this week, Leah’s hair looks the best it’s ever looked on the “live” footage.  I’m a huge fan of curly hair and love to see someone embrace their natural curls and allow their curls to realize their full potential.  We rehash the fight from last week and I [...]

We start off with Rima, Erika, Blondie and Christina rehashing the events of the night before. Erika tells us that she and the 3 afore mentioned skanks are WINNERS and that Mobama, Falen and Julie are PABs. Punk ass bitches. Erika asks Blondie if she’s gonna turn into a PAB and she says yes. Because [...]

A bunch of Yankees take a shot at downhome flavor.

DirecTV and Viacom have settled, so I get to have my Teen Mom back on my boob tube.  It’s just not the same watching these dipshits on a small, non-HD screen.  It just doesn’t capture the idiocy as well. Because Farrah and Ashley think Debra is the most horrible, abusive mother on the planet, Farrah [...]

Don saves the day!

High drama, Southern style.

This week on Glass House, Joy find 4,238 reasons to get upset and pout, Erica still wants to bone Kevin, Stephanie’s bubble is burst, and Jeff attempts to be a messiah. There’s a kissing contest with the girls versus Jeff.  I nearly barfed at all the tongue.  It was like watching an episode of Rock [...]

The St. Thomas wildlife strikes back against their houseguests.

This class has the eye of the tiger

In this MorninTime hard hitting investigative report, the Tooth Fairy is grilled about Holllywood’s babies. Blue Ivy, Suri, and Brad and Angelina’s brood of kids are vetted by one of the top names in the business. To get the funniest quotes from TVgasm recaps as they’re posted, follow us on Twitter. You can post your favorite [...]

Ramona is anxious to get the London low-down, so she invites everyone to get together–except Heather and LuAnn.  Ramona had her sights set on trashing Pleather, but when Carole is asked for the juicy parts, Princess Carole couldn’t get past the one-upping of the lowly Countess.  Sonja tossed another trash bag of the Countess into [...]

Put blood-fued on simmer, heat to a boil and then pour liberally on your enemy.

I don’t know about everyone else, but I was holding out hope that this episode would be bloody.  There was no bloodshed, but it was still a pretty fun episode to watch. This week, C-Wow attempts to alienate herself from all of her friends by defending Nora.  We are made to believe that Nora deserves [...]

This week Mackenzie learns how to balance her checkbook.

Previously on Big Brother: Dan showed off a large collection of Jesus-y shirts, Janelle wore a jacket made of our razor blades in case slimy ass Boogie tried to hug her, and Willie tried to lead a revolution against, well, he didn’t know, exactly. The important thing is that he called a meeting and yelled [...]

20% Dancer Decrease

We wish “happy trails” to another fallen contestant…

We examine alcohol’s destructive effect on society.

The end is nigh.

The best thing about this week’s episode was the commercial for Sleeping Dogs, coming soon to a home video game console near you! “You’re a cop. I am an undercover cop. The rules are different.” The episode starts about five minutes before the end of last week’s episode, so we get to relive the overwhelming [...]

Hello lovers and welcome back to the life and times of the Real Housewives of New Jersey!  First of all –  love, kisses and thanks to the hilarious and sexy J. MO for taking such good care of you dolls while I was off on holiday.  I had the best time off by the way, [...]

Careful what you wish for.

Hey guys, it’s me, Danny! Let’s jump right into this bullshit! Julie Chen is here with us tonight! No matter how terribly slow the live shows are, you can always count on Julie’s eccentric wardrobe and robotic laughter to bring some joy into the hour. Sadly, Julie opted for a rather calm dress, only notable [...]

Someone stockpiles for Armageddon, and Kristin shows her true drunken colors.

Geek chic to sexy freaks!

Ok so it’s week 2 and I haven’t quite got these bitches names down so stick with me here. As we left off last week, Char2.0 and Rima were fighting because Char2.0 said Rima was a dirty non bath taking bitch. The fight continues and no security steps in AT ALL and it only ends [...]