POSTS TAGGED: tvgasm

I am so happy to announce that this week, Leah’s hair looks the best it’s ever looked on the “live” footage.  I’m a huge fan of curly hair and love to see someone embrace their natural curls and allow their curls to realize their full potential.  We rehash the fight from last week and I [...]

We start off with Rima, Erika, Blondie and Christina rehashing the events of the night before. Erika tells us that she and the 3 afore mentioned skanks are WINNERS and that Mobama, Falen and Julie are PABs. Punk ass bitches. Erika asks Blondie if she’s gonna turn into a PAB and she says yes. Because [...]

A bunch of Yankees take a shot at downhome flavor.

DirecTV and Viacom have settled, so I get to have my Teen Mom back on my boob tube.  It’s just not the same watching these dipshits on a small, non-HD screen.  It just doesn’t capture the idiocy as well. Because Farrah and Ashley think Debra is the most horrible, abusive mother on the planet, Farrah [...]

Don saves the day!

High drama, Southern style.

This week on Glass House, Joy find 4,238 reasons to get upset and pout, Erica still wants to bone Kevin, Stephanie’s bubble is burst, and Jeff attempts to be a messiah. There’s a kissing contest with the girls versus Jeff.  I nearly barfed at all the tongue.  It was like watching an episode of Rock [...]

The St. Thomas wildlife strikes back against their houseguests.

This class has the eye of the tiger

In this MorninTime hard hitting investigative report, the Tooth Fairy is grilled about Holllywood’s babies. Blue Ivy, Suri, and Brad and Angelina’s brood of kids are vetted by one of the top names in the business. To get the funniest quotes from TVgasm recaps as they’re posted, follow us on Twitter. You can post your favorite [...]

Ramona is anxious to get the London low-down, so she invites everyone to get together–except Heather and LuAnn.  Ramona had her sights set on trashing Pleather, but when Carole is asked for the juicy parts, Princess Carole couldn’t get past the one-upping of the lowly Countess.  Sonja tossed another trash bag of the Countess into [...]

Put blood-fued on simmer, heat to a boil and then pour liberally on your enemy.

I don’t know about everyone else, but I was holding out hope that this episode would be bloody.  There was no bloodshed, but it was still a pretty fun episode to watch. This week, C-Wow attempts to alienate herself from all of her friends by defending Nora.  We are made to believe that Nora deserves [...]

This week Mackenzie learns how to balance her checkbook.

Previously on Big Brother: Dan showed off a large collection of Jesus-y shirts, Janelle wore a jacket made of our razor blades in case slimy ass Boogie tried to hug her, and Willie tried to lead a revolution against, well, he didn’t know, exactly. The important thing is that he called a meeting and yelled [...]

20% Dancer Decrease

We wish “happy trails” to another fallen contestant…

We examine alcohol’s destructive effect on society.

The end is nigh.

The best thing about this week’s episode was the commercial for Sleeping Dogs, coming soon to a home video game console near you! “You’re a cop. I am an undercover cop. The rules are different.” The episode starts about five minutes before the end of last week’s episode, so we get to relive the overwhelming [...]

Hello lovers and welcome back to the life and times of the Real Housewives of New Jersey!  First of all –  love, kisses and thanks to the hilarious and sexy J. MO for taking such good care of you dolls while I was off on holiday.  I had the best time off by the way, [...]

Careful what you wish for.

Hey guys, it’s me, Danny! Let’s jump right into this bullshit! Julie Chen is here with us tonight! No matter how terribly slow the live shows are, you can always count on Julie’s eccentric wardrobe and robotic laughter to bring some joy into the hour. Sadly, Julie opted for a rather calm dress, only notable [...]

Someone stockpiles for Armageddon, and Kristin shows her true drunken colors.

Geek chic to sexy freaks!

Ok so it’s week 2 and I haven’t quite got these bitches names down so stick with me here. As we left off last week, Char2.0 and Rima were fighting because Char2.0 said Rima was a dirty non bath taking bitch. The fight continues and no security steps in AT ALL and it only ends [...]

From the mouths of idiots.

I will chew you up and spit you out Good morning, Gasmii. I feel like there was a lot going on last night, yet not much happened. Jabby is happy to have beat the Candy Apple’s in Ohio, and she believes that will put her in a good mood all week. Well, I’m sure someone [...]

For the first time in six years, Farrah, Ashley, and Debra will be under the same roof.  This should prove to be great.  Kyle still doesn’t have a job, so Maci uses this as an excuse to not put Bentley in preschool.  You know, because it’s healthier for Bentley to be taken care of by [...]

One contestant makes history! Everyone else chokes.

Will berates a series of women. But only to civilize them.

It is probably time to start a lingo death watch as Pleather continues on her path of destruction.  Holla!  So, to bring us up to date, so far, she has killed Holla!, “ie”, and Yo!  Three down, and plenty more to go.  Let’s get back to the Golden Girls in London, shall we. Last week’s [...]

Hello, Gasmii.  It’s another episode of the show that no one watches.  Now that Big Brother has started, I’m thinking I could fill this recap with a dissertation on the mating habits of the legendary basilisks and no one would notice. Last week, Team Friends sent Kevin down the tubes with Ashley.  I’m sure no [...]

A challenging episode.

Nerd makeovers!

The Viacom and DirecTV fiasco will not keep me down, y’all!  I had to buy this episode from iTunes, so it had better be good.  I want my $2.99 worth.  Anyway, if you have DirecTV and didn’t get to see this episode, I’ve got it all right here.  Taking the bullet for the rest of [...]

With Pleather’s Yummie commitments finally behind her, she is free to enjoy London with the ladies.  First on the agenda is a croquet outing arranged by Sonja.  Sleep deprivation, combined with Countess Pumpkin’s continuous one-upping, and the stage is set for a royal showdown. Dahling, you do know that I invented croquet, don’t you?   [...]

Guess who’s NOT coming to dinner?

First week of competition!!

    Hey there Gasmi, reality shows are about personalities. Mainly because that way the producers don’t have to hire actors or writers and can better use that money on more important things: like questionable elective surgery, paying to have sex with people who are wildly more attractive then said producers, and/or buying things like Italian sports [...]