POSTS TAGGED: tvgasm

“We’re like, blood sistas now!” SO! We’ve had two entire weeks to digest the big black screen that represented Snooki getting her lights punched out by a total pig. This week on Jersey Shore we are promised much roomie bonding in the aftermath of said punch. Let’s see what they’ve got.

On this year’s Tournament of Roses Parade, Hannah Storm behaves inappropriately with a puppy and scares children. Mommy that puppy’s crying!

Hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas/whatever holiday you celebrate. Mine was great. Except for all the relatives. Since Bad Girls is a repeat this week I thought I’d hold off on this recap until tonight. (That’s my story and I’m 60% sure it’s true) Let’s go review what happened last week on Bad Girls Club! [...]

Okay Gasmi, we’ve made it through the holiday season, and you’ve probably been bombarded with spiritual messages, what with little spindly Christmas trees teaching the meaning of Christmas to cartoon characters, birth defects allowing small children to be bombarded with toys, and angels getting their wings, but you know what? Screw that noise. We need [...]

What? We’re superstars! This week, more delusion in that the four Jackson brothers actually think they’re worth something. It’s sort of comical seeing them put together Michael tributes that fail and crack totally unfunny jokes, but on the other hand, I want to stab my television screen with a fork as I watch. Also, Jermaine [...]

Hi Gasmi, well another episode of Dollhouse, which means all sorts of lessons. Such as love can conquer all, the best defense is the ability to telepathically nag people, and upper class British women are surprisingly surly drunks. So make the jump and get to the good stuff. What? You got a problem with my [...]

MTV does not condone this type of garbage, okay? What time is it you ask? It’s time to HIT the Jersey Shore!

Hey Gasmi, is everybody ready to spend a lot of time examining the most sublime human emotion? What? No, it’s not rage against Al Roker. That’s the most justifiable emotion. No, I’m talking about love, the one four letter word standards and practices doesn’t have a problem with. Oh and Alpha is back and has [...]

Welcome, friends and regatzi! We’re back with Launch My Line for another week of hilarity and art. Or frustration and cheap clearance rack designs. Or all of the above. You decide!

First and foremost, babies ruin everything but especially television shows. From Cousin Oliver on The Brady Bunch, to Albert on Little House on the Prairie, to Murphy Brown and her ancient egg fertilization, we all know it. So it is with some trepidation that I watched this episode of Ugly Betty with the double pregnancy [...]

Dearest Gasmii– Bitches in da house again, yo!!! Of course I’m talking about myself. Bravo is trying to squeeze a few more drops of ratings milk from this show’s saggy, ashy teat, so let’s see how many people I can offend in one last blog! Before I “lose another fan” (and BTW, I consider a [...]

Previously, oops, did I spell that wronged? Fuck it. Don’t care. In the last episode of Bad Girls Club Batshitalie tried to be the L.A. running alpha ho but ended up spending the night in a hotel because she smacked Kendra in the tater. Let’s take a peek and see what’s what this week!

Hi Gasmii– First, thanks to Msjaqmills, bingo boy and uglycutiefor their very flattering and enjoyable comments last week. God bless you for reading and keep ‘em coming! When The CW gives you lemons, all you can do is make spiteful, derisive recaps lemonade. This show needs a major transfusion of twisted, but let’s dispense with [...]

Tonight, on Survivor: it’s two episodes in one! Also, people finally figure out that it might be a good thing to get rid of Russell at some point.

Hey Gasmi, well it’s time to see what our pals in America’s favorite brainwashing facility have gotten up to this week. Oh and Echo almost helps an illegal immigrant get a lethal injection. So quit dawdling and make the jump and see what happens in this episode of Dollhouse. Cuando llego a casa estoy pateando [...]

“Just try to resist all this. Impossible!” It’s time to head back to the Jersey Shore to check in on the trashiest group of jerks on TV! Reading through all of your comments this last week made me giggle really hard and think about a bunch of stuff. I also have to say that the [...]

It is with sadness and regret that I announce…that I had to watch For the Love of Ray J. Last season wasn’t exactly brimming with talent and entertainment but I felt a little invested in what was going on. This time, not so much. I can only hope that Ray J decides to send home [...]

This week on Styl’d, Jen almost beats the shit out of Tara. I said almost. As in, almost Emmy worthy. Come on, Styl’d!! MAKE AN EFFORT!! When Male Pattern Baldness Attacks

I sat down to watch this episode and I said a little prayer that Rumer and Kellyanne would completely humiliate Kenny and Evan. Apparently, the big man was busy answering someone else’s prayers. And it rhymes with Snoozie. And you thought that Rumer’s visualizations were corny.

This is it kids! The big finale! We’ve learned so much this season: never be a vegan on this show if you wanna make it past the start line, buying a $5 passport-holder might be worth it to win a million dollars, there’s nothing deadlier than a waterslide (especially if you’re dating someone willing to [...]

Look Gasmii, I have a job. A really important job. An advertising job. That’s why this recap is late. So, without further ado, please enjoy my gift to you, the last recap of 90210 of ’09… Sorry, I didn’t have time to wrap it…

Hello sweeties! It’s episode two of Crazy Bitches Gone Wild or as Oxygen insists on calling it Bad Girls Club. It seems we have a special person amongst the group who really thinks she “runs L.A.” Let’s jump on in to Batalie’s head and see what storms are brewing this week! Looks to me like [...]

This week on The Biggest Loser, our remaining four contestants ran a full 26.2-mile marathon. Without training properly. And without any of the cheering fans and drink stops that would be present during a normal race. It’s something that would put ANY normal human being into instant cardiac arrest. I’m about to call Flabulous People [...]

I’m not sure what’s worse, seeing Ugly Betty in a bathing suit or faking us out with a sepia-toned opening in a 1920s unitard once known as a “bathing suit.” Really, it’s a toss-up. Betty is pitching an idea about a feature on the first woman to wear a bathing suit with accompanying photos of [...]

This week on Desperate Housewives: It’s the disaster episode you’ve been waiting for all year long! Lynette and Gabby continue the snipery regarding the whole subpoena thingie. Katherine goes cuckoo when her daughter returns and Susan fills her in on the truth. Bree finalizes things with Orson, who finds out about her and Karl, and [...]

“I knew these would pay off!” Jersey Shore, The Premiere continues. So where were we? Ah yes, Snooki has been pouting in her bed and no one really noticed, which means she’s not getting enough attention and therefore wants to go home and forget the whole thing. If you ask me, packing her crap is [...]

Welcome back to FlashForward, and hopefully everyone had a great Thanksgiving! This Thursday, we’re back to a different kind of turkey. Oh, I kid! I’m going to get letters, I just know it…

Hey Gasmi, what you been doing with yourself for the past month? Have you been enjoying those Bones and House reruns Fox trotted out for sweeps? No? Well don’t worry because Dollhouse is back, so make the jump and see what’s the newest trend in acceptable work behavior. Because everyone should be able to blow [...]

I could barely sit down to watch this week’s episode. This season has been such a letdown but I’m going to stick it out since this is my duty. Some people fight wars; I watch bad reality TV. This week’s episode picks up where the last one left off. Heartbreaker is lamenting the fact that [...]

I’m so sorry for the late recap, Gasmii! I’m still watching Jersey Shore over and over and over again. Thank heaven for the DVR and the pause button. I can’t get enough of watching that tanned dwarf getting punched in the head. Does that make me a bad person? Here’s a tip: Don’t tell a [...]

“Here we are! Who wants an STD?” Greetings beloved readers! I am back after a very brief hiatus to take a good look at the latest pile of trash masquerading as a documentary that MTV has seen fit to present – Jersey Shore.

Welcome back Gasmii! This episode (and in effect, its recap) take place after our actual Thanksgiving, so the references are a few days old, but still pretty great (just like the leftovers I’m sure you gnawed on all week long). Our theme this week is “secrets” and how they can destroy relationships, and make you [...]

Hey Gasmii. My sincerest apologies for the late recap. Most of the year I’m surfing the web at work and working on my recap but unfortunately we’ve come to one of the two months a year when I actually earn my paycheck. I’m tired, hungry and cranky but as God as my witness, I’ll get [...]

“It appears Wilhelmina Slater has been struck blind by the fashion gods,” Suzuki St. Pierre says as we open this episode of Ugly Betty. And has she ever! We see her getting out of a cab wearing sweats, a ball cap, and multi-colored crocs. Sweet Jesus, kill me now, you can’t even see her cleavage [...]

This week on Desperate Housewives: Susan finally finds out about Bree, so you can check that off your list. Lynette sues Carlos over her job and it all ends up bitch-slapping her back in the face. Danny tries to kill himself Bell Jar style. Katherine jumps over the edge of sanity so far that I [...]

It’s that time of year again kiddies! Bright colorful lights, red noses, silver wrist jewelry. Christmas you say? Nah, it’s time for the Bad Girls Club! Let’s see who gets snockered, arrested or generally injured in the mayhem that is the best show on tv!

Hi guys, welcome to our last bit of V goodness until 2010. A lot of stuff happens tonight, but the main thing you can take away from this episode is that vaccinations are bad, and there are a horde of evil aliens just waiting to swoop in and enslave us. Awww, it looks like Jenny [...]

On a very special For the Love of Ray J, the girls have to style and direct Ray J in a Sean John photo shoot. The first eleven minutes of the episode are very Adorable-centric so either she’s going to be the winner or she’s going home. She’s one of the more attractive girls so [...]

Last week we learned that when you “candle-a-bra” you get “elimin-a-ted” and that someone’s gonna get their ass beat this episode! WHY?! Because it’s Amazing Race and somebody’s gotta get whooped! Teams start out in the marshes of Estonia where we left them and we see Team Master Race get the first clue – fly [...]

Can you believe this season’s ending?!?! It seems like it’s only been running for ten years. Craziness! We open with a big glitter graphic spelling out ONE. LAST. CHANCE. And then they put this pic up. OK that’s just rude, you guys.